silver lining

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I was the one who always saw the silver lining in every cloud.
Now, my mind is clouded.
There is no one to help me clear this cloud,
And my thoughts are so loud.

I cannot hear anything else
Other than these thoughts that are so wild.
There's this voice in my head,
It's a monster living in my head that won't let me live.
I just need to vent,
These thoughts don't even pay rent.

I used to help people see the positive side
Without showing them my vulnerable side.
People thought I was the happiest,
Little did they know that I was the loneliest.
Always wore a mask,
Made people laugh,
Made people feel good about themselves,
Made them believe that they are worthy of love,
Brought a smile on their faces.

But there's no one to make my heart smile,
No one makes me feel good about myself,
No one to tell me that I'm worthy of love too.

I'm losing my hope,
I'm losing my faith,
I'm losing my strength,
I'm losing my optimism.

I'm losing myself.

I'm becoming hopeless,
I'm becoming faithless,
I'm becoming weak,
I'm becoming pessimistic.

I'm losing myself.

I'm falling.
How deep?
I don't know.
Will someone catch me?
I hope someone does.
I need someone to hold my hands and tell me that:
I'll be okay,
I'm doing fine,
I'm doing my best,
And things will get better,
And I'll be able to handle things better.

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