Road of the Lonely Ones ✸ Paul Lahote

004. Remarkably Human

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     Abnormally normal. Saskia wanted nothing more than to be a normal girl who liked lollipops and pink ribbon tied in bows. A girl who had a father who liked her and a brother who worried less and a brother who loved more. A girl who could fantasise about vampires being real without the fear of them killing her. A girl who wouldn't have to grieve the only person who made her feel normal. 

'заяц'  is what her mother would call her, it meant bunny. Her mother would brush her fingers through her beautiful dark hair and whisper how soft it was like bunnies fur, and how her nose would twitch when she laughed, like a bunny. She would call Levi a lion and Hugo a deer, a nickname for them each. Saskia felt sick thinking about it, how empty the house was, how no one would hear the nicknames uttered again. The walls were bare, now. Sas had come home from her shift at the cafe to see the house wrecked. Any pictures of her mother that hung were gone, her clothes were in a pile by the backdoor,  lipstick that was always in the downstairs bathroom had vanished, and the mirror in it shattered. She could only run up the stairs in hopes of seeing if Hugo was alright, only to find he and Levi snuggled up together asleep. Both their cheeks were stained with tears, Levi with a protective arm over his younger brother's head. She could only cry at the sight, that she wasn't there to protect them herself from the wrath that should have been reserved for her only.

Muffled cries came from her mouth as she covered her mouth with her hand, she could taste copper in her mouth as it filled with blood from biting her tongue so hard in the hopes of stopping her from screaming. She moved closer to them lifting up the covers and sliding herself underneath, the other side of Hugo. She pressed a kiss to both their heads, wiping the tears that had fallen onto them as she did so. Guilt consumed her being as she lay there, thinking. She could smell air freshener, any lingering smell of her mother had disappeared. The tears fell quicker. She tried to remember the sound of her mother's voice calling out her nickname. But it was to no avail, she couldn't remember her own mother's voice anymore. The tears fell harder and she had never felt so much anger in her life. A good-for-nothing father and a dead mother. Who she could barely remember anymore.

After all, she was only sixteen. A sixteen-year-old looking after her family while barely being able to look after herself.

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Paul Lahote didn't know when or how to quit. He was outside the cafe, again. With a boba in his left hand and a bag of Skittles in his right. Two of her favourite things. She wasn't sure how he knew that or where he got the boba from since the nearest shop was in the next town over. Yet there he stood, chest puffed out with pride and hands stretched out towards her, albeit a little shaky.

Her stomach wanted to flip but she was stiff, on edge. Saskia still didn't know Paul at all that well. Yet she wanted to melt at the sight of him, and his slightly cherry cheeks.

"I-um I got you these" He stuttered, taking a tentative step forward as he watched how she slowed her movements in locking up the cafe. Her face gave away no tell of how she was feeling, his heart's movements speeding up and he was suddenly holding his breath. "Figured you'd be thirsty after your shift, or-or hungry"

Sas stepped closer to him, Pauls arms were aching from how long he'd now been holding them out for. He would never admit it but he was slightly scared of her. Her dark eyes and even darker makeup were all his eyes could focus on. Intimidating. Though instead of slapping him, ignoring him, or pouring the drink over his head like he had for some reason expected. She walked around his arms and came close to his face. He couldn't grasp what was happening quick enough as her lips softly came down onto his cheek. Paul blinked over and over, trying to process. If he wasn't holding his breath before, he felt like he was about to pass out now. Before he could even react she'd grabbed his wrist of the hand holding the boba and brought it close to her face before taking a sip. He couldn't help but shiver when her skin touched his and stared at the way her sweet lips wrapped around the straw. She smiled at him and let go, continuing her task of locking the cafe up.  She felt warm, this was normality, what felt right. He felt right.

He had frozen, like her touch was magic, and forced his lungs to freeze up and he almost let the drink drop from his hands. You would have thought she had called him hot and asked him to strip naked by the pace of his heart and the red on his cheeks, neck, and ears.

"Thanks, Paul" Saskia whispered, as she stepped away from the shop. "You didn't have to do this" He just smiled, unable to get any words out and too scared to try.

"My brother should be here to picked me up soon-"

"I'll take you" Paul suddenly perked up.

"No really it's fine, I can wait" She softly smiled at him.

"Saskia" Thats all it took. She hated the way all thoughts of reason immediately exited her brain when he said her name, the way her heart stuttered, and the way Paul smiled as if he knew he was making her a mushy mess.

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   Walking her to the door, a simple gesture of chivalry and being polite yet it meant the world to her. Her mother always said that 'If he's not a gentleman, he's not worth your time, my заяц" . 

And here Paul was: being a gentleman.

"You really didn't have to do this" Suddenly she was the nervous one, fiddling with the ends of her jacket, and avoiding his gaze. It was almost annoying how good he looked, so casual with his hands in his jeans, white top poking out the bottom of his black hoodie, his dark hair a beautiful mess, and his tan skin complementing everything perfectly.

"I wanted to" He responded immediately.

Saskia dug into her pockets to find her keys but, nothing. In her bag but still: nothing.  She patted herself down but still she couldn't hear the jingle of the many key rings. She was going to have to knock on the door and face her father ( she had noticed his car in the drive ) instead of entering silently and immediately heading to the kitchen. Sas knew Paul wouldn't leave till she was safe in her house, and he furrowed his brow as he heard her heart rate spike out of what seemed to be fear. He was suddenly worried, what was she so scared of? He only hoped it wasn't him.

She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Her hand scratched at her newer burn scars to try distract herself.

"You're late" Were the first words that came out of the open door. Paul watched as the tall man towered over Saskia, with a greying beard and an even greyer head of hair, a hard face, and the same freckles across his nose identical to Saskia. He could smell the stench of beer coming off him in waves, his face scrunching in disgust.

"I-I'm sorry, I walked home, I'll get started on dinner" She rushed out, desperate to get out of this horrifying situation, embarrassed that Paul was getting an insight into her home life. Sas tried to walk in but her father didn't budge.

"And who is this boy, Saskia?" Paul observed quietly, his eyebrows still in their furrowed place as he still seemed perplexed by the circumstances he had found himself under.

"Uh this is nobody" She could see the way Paul faltered in hurt but she was trying to protect him from the wrath of the drunken behavior of her father, and leave him in the dark about how she lived.

"Paul Lahote, Sir" He reached his hand out for Stanley Sanders to shake.

"Seeing as Saskia doesn't seem to have any manners, I'll ask," He shook the hand, cold and mean, like his words and gaze towards his own daughter. "Paul, why don't you join us for dinner?"

The Lahote boy could sense something very off, as he watched the heat grow on Saskia's cheeks and Mr Sander's rather harsh words and white knuckles from gripping to door so hard. He replied. "I would love to, Sir, thank you."

Saskia wanted nothing more than to glare at Paul and yell at him for being so foolish. He was making this so much worse. And so as her father dragged her inside and whispered cruelly for her to be on her best behaviour, she just knew this night was going to be painful, and all sense of warmth she had felt from before had been ripped away. So she was back, to being a corpse of a person. How close she was to being remarkably human.

AUTHORS NOTE

I have been in a slump but I'm sort of back.

Lots of love xx

Hope this is mediocre.