Another Chance for Lives

Hopes and Disappointments

DRAUPADI

After getting cursed by Rishi Durvasa, Yudhisthir sent Nakul to Hastinapur to bring back Matashree to Khandavprath. Matashree cried and ask for forgiveness from us, especially from me for not taking my suggestion and listen to Vyas. She took Shahdev and went to meet Rishi Durvasa, to beg him to forgive us. 

I came back to my hut, tired. I have cried so much, I feel dehydrated. Why does misfortune keep happening to us? To me? Not being able to cope with these thoughts alone I thought of calling in Malini inside and stay with me for sometime. But before I could call, Yudhisthir comes in. 

"Panchali, are you not going to sleep?"

"I was about to, why did you come here? Should have called me instead." He didn't come to my hut ever since Arjun left.

He sits down on my bed. "Lie down, Panchali and try to sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping properly." 

"No, Arya. I am fine." 

He doesn't say anything for a moment, he keeps starring at his fidgeting hand.
"Panchali, I have done a bad thing to you and Arjun by making you wed all 5 of us."

"Don't think like that now, we will just do pooja and go to him and beg to uplift the curse." I tell him. 

"No, Panchali. Even if he forgives us, I know Arjun is mad at me. He just respect me too much to say anything. I was at fault, I could have just ignore what matashree said but I didn't. When matashree asked us to share you, I got greedy, I wanted to be your husband too, so I just agreed with matashree. And what Rishivar said is right. You should consummate your marriage with one husband only. I talked with Bheem, Shahdev and Nakul also and they too agree that it should be Arjun. After all he was the one who won the swayamvar. Let's tell him when he comes back, he will be happy. And I think you also prefers Arjun, when we came for your swayamvar, eveyone said you want to marry the best archer as per your father's wishes."

I don't say anything, I just feel bad, I wish things were not this complicated.

"Are you fine with Arjun? You should say it Panchali." He ask.

I nod. Among all of them Arjun seems to love me the most, others treat me well, really well but it will be more complicated if I start thinking about it now.

He take my hand is hold it tight. "But that doesn't mean I am not your husband anymore. We will always be husband and wife till I die. And if I am lucky enough, Mahadev will make me your husband and you my wife in my next birth." His eyes are filled with tears. Everyone always says that he is the rock of the family, the one who doesn't cry ever, the one who is realistic all the time, the reasonable one, but he's crying here in my hut, holding my hand. 

He continues, "Only because you will consummate your marriage with Arjun only doesn't mean you are not the queen anymore. Wherever I am King, you will be the queen. And your child will be the next ruler after we retire."

"That won't be fair to your other wives." I say. "And the one who is the most capable should be the king."

He strokes my head. "You don't worry about that. You will always be my queen. Only you will sit with me on my throne. You are still my wife, Pancahli, we are not separated. You will have the most right on me, even more than matashree. Whatever you wish, I will follow it as a command." 

I realise I am crying when he wipes off the tears on my checks. He pulls me closer and makes me lie down, putting my head on his laps. He presses my head gentle. "Sleep, Panchali. I know you haven't been sleeping well. I will go after you sleep."

I protested but he still massages my head gently. Exhaustion from crying and made me feel drowsy and I start feeling sleepy. He kiss my forehead as I passed out. In the morning I find Malini sitting on the floor. "Why didn't you sleep?" I ask.
"Maharaj told me to look after you in the night and call him if you get nightmare again." Malini answers me.