The Exit - Oscar Piastri FF

20. - Sober mistakes?

The next morning, I woke up with the best feeling in my body. A smile spread on my lips at the thought of the night's events, but before I could finish the thought, a rush of deja vu came over me, as I reached out and felt that no one was sleeping beside me. I opened my eyes and immediately looked to my side, and I was right. His side of the bed was empty. I couldn't help but frown when I reached over to look at my phone, but no notifications were showing either. He had just left me there, just like the last time. 

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts, but I couldn't deny feeling almost rejected. I felt left alone and neglected, but I tried to give Oscar the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he had just forgotten to send me a message that he had to leave early or something. I decided to leave it at that, as I got up and got ready for the day. I put on a pair of black trousers and a cute top, then went to get ready for the day. While getting ready, I texted Oscar saying 'Morning! Wish you hadn't left that early this morning, but see you at the paddock! xx'. 

When I arrived at the paddock, I still hadn't received an answer but thought that maybe he was in fact just busy, so I let it go and went straight to the garage to get ready. When I arrived in the garage, Max was already in his suit, speaking to his engineers about whatever. I didn't want to pay any attention to him though after the stunt he pulled at the restaurant yesterday, so I went directly to my driver's room to get suited up.

The whole day, I only ever saw glimpses of Oscar, and whenever I thought I had eye contact, he seemed to look the other way and avoid my eyes. It was very frustrating, and it became clearer and clearer that he was intentionally not making any contact with me. 

Exiting the motorhome after the break between first and second free practice, I noticed Oscar walk through the paddock with Logan, the phone in his hand. I knitted my eyebrows together, and checked my phone once more, to see if there were any new messages, but none were showing, and it had now been six hours since I sent it. It made me insanely confused that he hadn't replied, so I decided to put it to the test. I dialled his number on my phone while looking directly at him. He hadn't noticed me staring at him, and when he pulled his phone up to look at the screen, what he did shook me to my core. He simply looked at it, ignored it and put his phone in his pocket. I could tell that Logan was asking him something about it, but at that point, they had gotten too far away for me to tell anything from their body language. But one thing was clear to me, Oscar was ignoring me. But why?

I decided I wasn't done testing, so I then dialled Logan's number. I could see them both stop walking in the distance, Logan looked at the phone and picked it up. "Hey Con, what's up?" He asked as if nothing was wrong at all. "Hey, Logan, have you spoken to Oscar today? I can't get a hold of him," I explained, acting as if I knew nothing about the two of them being together right then. There was silence for a moment, but then Logan said something that shocked me even more. "Um, nope, sorry Con. I will let him know to call you if I see him," He replied. I became speechless. I could feel tears build up in my eyes, as I was completely dumbfounded by the audacity they had to ignore and lie to me as if I wasn't their best friend. 

"Con?" Logan asked after noticing I had become silent. My eyes were still stuck on both of them, and I took a few steps out into the paddock, making sure to be in plain sight if they looked my way. "Funny you say that honestly, 'cause I'm looking at two people looking just like the two of you right now," I said, clearly being ironic, and they both began looking around until their eyes both landed on me. I could tell they were shocked that they had been caught, and the phone became silent. "Do me a favour, Logan, if you do see Oscar before I do, let him know that he can keep the fuck away from me, and honestly, so can you," I said in the heat of the moment, a tear escaping from my eyes before I hung up the phone and left to go back into my garage and get ready for the second Free Practice.

"You alright?" I heard Max ask worriedly while I wiped the last tear from my face before putting on my fireproof balaclava. "I'm fine, Max," I replied and I knew instantly that it came off way harsher than I wanted it to, but I couldn't care less about it at that point. I put on my helmet and got into the car, then waited for the go. 

"Yn, it's just a Free Practice, no need to race," I heard over the radio, but I ignored it. Whenever I felt down, the adrenaline from racing was always what kept me going, what cheered me up. "Yn, no risks please," They spoke again, and I sighed and pressed the button to reply. "I'm just having fun," I replied, and there was silence for a bit. "We would much prefer to have fun on Sunday. Please, slow down, you've already outlapped half of the grid," They responded in a very monotone manner. "So I'm still missing the other half," I said sarcastically. "No, Yn. Stop pushing," I chuckled bitterly and gave in at last. "Copy,"

"I swear to god, Yn, you keep me on my toes," Max said as he had taken off his helmet after the race, before the interviews. I chuckled at his comment and honestly felt a lot better after having been on track, even though my body was tired. "You wanna talk about what's making you upset?" He offered shortly after, and I shook my head, looking over at the media area, where drivers had started arriving to do their end-of-the-day interviews. "I'll be alright, I'm quite strong, ya know?" I said, looking back at him, with a more serious expression. "I know you're strong, but I also know that you tend to handle things by yourself when you don't have to do that. You don't need to talk to me, but please, talk to someone, okay?" He said, placing a hand shortly on my shoulder before we both headed towards the reporters.

When we arrived, there was a free spot for me right beside Lando, which I took immediately. I noticed both Logan and Oscar looking at me, but I didn't give them a second glance before taking my stand. "Yn Connor, what a day. Tell me a bit about it, 'cause you were on fire on track!" The reporter said as the first thing, so I forced a small smile before answering. "Yeah, had a great day with the car today. Had a lot of fun," I said shortly. "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I heard someone talk about how you're always better on track when you're mad, would you say that that is true?" He asked next and I slipped a small bitter laugh. "Uh, yeah, I guess that is true, yeah. Driving has always been a sort of way to get my emotions out, so not only anger but also extreme happiness or sadness. But I guess being angry tends to make me the best," I replied, trying to sound as light-hearted as possible. "So, what was it today?" He asked at last, and I felt as if my media manager was hurrying on me from behind. "Today? Today it was a lot of emotions. Anger, sadness, a feeling of betrayal, yeah, all of that," I said, but was pulled away before the reporter could reply, and pulled out of the area before I could make another interview. 

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed at the media manager, who just looked at me with a 'you know what' expression. I rolled my eyes and went straight to my room when suddenly I felt like I was going to burst open with emotions. I locked the door behind me, and thankfully so, cause soon after arriving heard a knock on the door, followed by someone who tried to open the door. "Con?" I heard. The voice broke my heart, and the anger I felt before turned into sadness and vulnerability. "Connor, can we please talk?" A second voice said. I knew if I stayed in here, they would wait me out, so my best option was to leave in such a hurry that they wouldn't follow me into the crowd. I stayed silent as I turned on the shower in my room, deciding that would be the best way to drown out their voices. I took a shower and got dressed right after, then dried my hair. The whole time I knew that the clock was ticking and that when it was done, I would burst and all kinds of emotions would come out of me. I knew myself very well in that way. It had been a long time since I had had to be alone in those moments though. I had always had either Oscar, Logan or Max with me, but now, it was like I had lost all three of them. 

"Connor, open the door please," I heard again after I had almost finished getting done. I finished by putting on just a slight bit of make-up, and looked myself in the mirror, taking a deep breath. I had to put on a brave face, so I tried my best before walking over to the door and grabbing my bag on the way. 

I swung the door open and instantly started to push past both of the guys in front of me. They both tried to get a hold of me, but I pushed them off before they could pull me back and kept walking out, both of them right behind me. "Con, please listen,-" Oscar started, "We didn't mean to hurt you," Logan added, and I couldn't help but scoff. I wanted to stop right then and there and yell at them immediately, but I knew that I would then make a scene in front of the entire paddock and everyone who had come to watch the race, as well as I was going to break down in an instant. Instead, I kept walking, until I at last lost them in the crowd, and I could get to my car, where I could be completely alone and drive back to the hotel.