You Belong To Me

Chapter nineteen:

 It was like slipping into the most comfortable sleep one could ever imagine. Your head stops throbbing, your body stops aching, and suddenly you can feel the relief as it wells in your throat. Scott couldn't be mournful of his body, because the feeling of finally resting was too delightful. He saw his room, his books, his fish, his teddy bear. He could smell the incense he had burned that morning and the tea that he had accidently spilled on the counter. When he really allowed himself to let go, he could picture what he planned to do tomorrow. He would sit in the tail bed of his truck and smoke a joint and watch the stars slowly make their rotation around the sky.

He had never felt so good in his entire life. He knew - quite distantly - that there was someone calling his name. He knew that there was some pounding and obnoxious sound burrowing deeper into his head, a dizzying feeling behind his eyes, but only if he focused on not dying, which was the least desirable option at this moment. It was the most nostalgic feeling, dying. Unbelievably peaceful and almost childish. Like finally letting yourself indulge in the most heavenly of desires. It was so easy to just... die.

It had been months since he was first taken into that house. Three months to be exact. Christmas had come and gone and his missing-persons case had come to an end; labeled cold. His family was devastated by this news, enraged that they the police were willing to give up so quickly. They had decided it was just another hiker claimed by the mountains despite his mother desperately explaining that her son was not one for the wilderness.

What Scott didn't know, was that he was waking up. The euphoria was ended with the most abrupt and painful jolt of an electric shock. A defibrillator pressed cold and unforgiving against his chest, forcing his SA node to produce a burst of life into his still heart. Another one and Scott's eyes flew open against his will. The first breath of air to his lungs brought with it the most desperate cry that had ever rocked his body. Tears spilling from his eyes despite still not being able to feel any other part of his body. He wanted it back. The sleep, the peace, the end. He wanted the end to come. He had been ready for it, ready to meet his father again, ready to meet his dogs and his best friend. He wanted them back so desperately and was ready to run into their arms again but was greeted with nothing but harsh, glaring lights.

"No!" The garbled plead came with barely a breath. "No..." he said again. A hand was placed against his forehead, pushing his hair back. His world swam in front of him, swirling images of barely visible people danced in front of him. Everything was a dizzy, blurring screen and he was still trying to force himself to disappear again. He closed his eyes, willing for his God forsaken heart to stop again.

"It's okay, you're okay." A voice whispered next to his ear. The gentle, musical voice of a woman, her perfume was of lavender and lemon and her blonde hair tickled Scott's face. "Scotty, you're okay."

"Caroline?" Scott asked, his lips sticking together.

"Hi, Scotty. I've missed you."

"Caroline?"

"Yes, Scotty. Hi, there." Scott looked at her, but this time, really looked at her. Her watery blue eyes were filled with tears, one slipped past her eyelashes and landed on Scott's cheek. She quickly swiped it away. "I've missed you so much, Scott."

"Where..."

"You're in the hospital. You're okay... I mean, you're not right now but you will be." Scott could hear the happiness in her voice.

"Where..." Scott tried again, he didn't care where he was, the only thing on his mind was-

"Nobody knows. He dropped you off in the emergency room but after they realized who you were, he had disappeared."

"So you know that I-"

"Yes, Scotty. We all know, now. I never gave up looking for you, I could never have given up looking for you." Her voice cracked as she clenched his hand.

Scott wanted to feel the relief of knowing that he was safe. That they knew that he didn't just run off, he was taken, but the not knowing where the man went just left him with a heavy sense of dread. This wasn't at all how he expected to feel, being free from the man's clutches. He was desperate to get home and mourn his probably dead fish and sleep forever, but simultaneously, he couldn't deny the terror and anticipation of the possibility that the man wasn't done with him yet.

"They're looking for him, Scott. They know what he looks like and they're going to find him. You'll be okay." But her words fell on unhearing ears. Scott wanted to believe her, but found that he couldn't and then, there was another feeling, a thick and sweet feeling that seemed to rest directly on his ribcage, suffocating him.

As he stared at the fluorescent lights and held Caroline's hand, he struggled to find a way to describe the feeling that seemed to have flooded his veins with an almost sorrowful expression. The months he had undoubtedly spent with the man had created a familiarity in Scott's stomach. And now, laying here back in his world and reality, he realized he felt wrong now that the man was gone.

His heart monitor began to beep quicker, his heart slamming in his chest at irregular rates. A couple nurses hurried into the room and Scott felt Caroline pull away from his hand. He tried to explain he was okay, but his voice was choked in his throat and he knew he wasn't okay. Not so much physically but now mentally. He was terrified of how he felt, he was nauseated by the track his mind was beginning to take and he almost wished that the man would walk into the room now. Oh to see him in a setting like this. To see him in Scott's reality. Oh to look at him among all of these ordinary people. Scott was certain he wouldn't be able to fathom it should he ever see it.

Once his heart rate had seemed to level out at a semi-normal pace, the nurses began murmuring to themselves and Caroline had resumed her place at Scott's side. Looking at her now, he realized just how boring she looked. Extraordinarily pretty with her blonde hair and blue eyes, her curls and soft face. But almost like a false reality. She was here, but she wasn't real. The room didn't feel real, in fact, nothing around Scott felt real to him. As if he were floating in some random space from some other universe that he didn't belong in.

He wanted to throw up, but he grit his teeth and swallowed the saliva that had begun to fill his mouth.

They told him that they couldn't discharge him for a little while on account of his current physical health. They had to keep him on a steady flow of antibiotics and, what's worse, he had lost his left leg. Everything under the knee was completely gone which, on one hand, explained the lack of feeling down there but, on the other hand, made Scott almost deranged with laughter. So the man had claimed a piece of him after all. Of course, the man didn't have his leg right now, but somehow, it felt like he did. He had taken a piece of Scott once and for all.

Once he was coherent, they had also questioned him about his pinky finger, asking what had happened. They ran tests on it, but it seemed to have been reattached pretty well. They asked him all sorts of things but by the grace of God, they didn't question him about the details of his stay in that house of horrors. Some nights, Scott would have a dream about the scratching on the door in the room next to him as he was being carried out of the house, and he wondered if it had really happened. He had tried to say something about it, but he couldn't conjure up the words to describe exactly what he had seen and by that point, they just told him to lay back and take it easy.

It's not like there was anything they could do for it, anyways, as he had no idea where the house was or it address. He had no idea how long he was in the man's car for, nor did he notice what type of car it was. Anything that could have been a place marker for where the house was, Scott either didn't remember or was nonexistent. It was as if the house didn't exist.