𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋

f o r t y s i x

I HAVE BURIED MY FEELINGS -- and heartbreak so deep within my heart that seeing them, laughing or talking doesn't bother me.

I had deleted my social media account and deleted all the pics I had with them and kept only my own.

Finals were in a week and I had prepared half of the books. I was confident in myself. I knew that my mom was right. I will move on from my heartbreak when I meet new people and go to new places.

It still hurts my chest when I think of all the good moments with him. I miss it the fun times. And not just him. I missed my friendships.

I guess your friends leaving you is more painful than your boyfriend leaving you. It wasn't him who I shared all my secrets with. It was her. It was her who I told, who I shared, and who I appreciated.

I spent most of my time in libraries and when Finals came, I had to unfortunately sit between Cassius and Caspian who were trying to cheat and tell each other answers.

I completely blocked my mind off of them and continued to do my exam while biting my thumb. I loved the feeling of being smart. Sitting in the examination hall, knowing the answers of every question had to be the best feeling to exist. It felt better than sex.

I leaned back in my seat, choosing which question to do as I had a choice. I knew both of them. I tilted my head before repeating the answers in my head of each question and answered the question I knew best.

Caspian leaned closer, trying to peak into my paper and I slammed my hand on top of it glaring at him. He sighed and leaned back in his seat.

I did the last question before raising my hand to give my paper to the invigilator. I smiled as she gave me permission to leave the class. I grabbed my bags and walked out, confident and happy with how well my exam went.

Exams ended and Prom came. I took Sebastian with me because I had no one else to take. My relationship with Pierce had ended an year ago. He cheated and left me broken the same way Cassius did.

I couldn't get back with him because he was nice to me a few times and I had sex with him because of my jealousy.

Prom ended and graduation came. I felt like I could throw up. I felt scared for some reason. What if I didn't pass? Few names were called and students returned to the seat.

"Adeline Bexley," I watched ashe got on stage, shook hands with Mr. Lowell and our other teachers before taking a picture with her certificate with the principal and walking off stage.

The same thing happened with the Triple C.

"I'm not going to pass, mom, I know it," I said to my mom, shaking my leg anxiously.

"Amethyst Warren!" Applaud and a few cheers from I don't know who. I stood with a giant smile as I walked up to the stage.

"So, proud of you," Mr. Lowell said to me and I chuckled before shaking his hands and then the other teachers before moving to the principal. I held the certificate and took a picture with the principal before walking off stage and running to my mom to hug her.

♡

School had officially ended. I was spending my last days in this awful town before moving away for college in Princeton.

I had walked out of my last day as a waitress and me and Nadine had celebrated in the kitchen because I had graduated and got into Princeton.

I walked ont he side walk by the busy road, looking around. It was cloudy and slightly cold but it was a beautiful weather.

I continued looking around when I stopped and my small smile dropped. On the opposite side of the road stood the Triple C with Adeline. They were standing by the balustrade overlooking the lake.

They were laughing and talking, Caspian's arm around her waist and Cassius arm around her shoulders.

I wasn't equal to them -- not in the distance either. They were a bit far away and wouldn't see me properly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I come to the conclusion that I was never their girl. She was. It was always Adeline Bexley and never Amethyst Warren.

She was the main girl in their life. Their best friend. Their childhood friend. Their girl. I was just the fucktoy, their plaything.

I don't know why I'm surprised that this is how it is when it was clear from the start that there wouldn't be anything more.

So, I ended up with none of them. Because they and I are two different worlds. Two different planets. Two different universes.

I continued walking, not letting the tears escape and I stared into space until I got home. And then I started packing.

For new beginnings.

The End.