Humanga na ako noon sa ibang babae, hindi naman ako tuod. Pero hanggang doon lang – hanggang paghanga lang. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko nakakitaan ng rason na lumapit o kaya ay manligaw. At hindi dahil torpe ako, wala lang talaga akong interes dahil alam kong hindi ko pa kayang magkaroon ng nobya. Ipinangako ko sa sarili ko noon na kahit kailan ay hindi ko hahayaang maranasan ng magiging asawa at mga anak ko ang dinanas naming mag-iina.
My father was a drunkard, a womanizer, and a terrible gambler. But those three weren't even the most revolting of his behaviors; no, they were nothing compared to how physically and verbally abusive he was. Whenever he's drunk he'd hit my mother and he would curse her for bringing misfortune upon him and his family.
Ang paniniwala kasi n'ya ay minalas s'ya n'ung pinakasalan n'ya ang nanay ko dahil nasunog na nga ang hardware na pagmamay-ari ng pamilya nila ay namatay pa ang mga magulang n'ya sa sunog na 'yun.
My mother, too, believed that she was unlucky and she also believed that she indeed brought bad luck with her. My mother was an orphan – her mother had died giving birth to her and her father had followed suit a few months later. Her grandparents who had raised her had died before she even turned five. And because of death which seemed to follow her no relative would take her in.
When she was eight a distant relative, who was childless and widowed, took pity on her and adopted her.
My father's family did not believe their hired matchmaker when she said that my father's perfect match was my mother until Mama's adoptive mother literally showed them the family coffers. They immediately set a date for the marriage.
'Yun nga lang, dahil sugarol ay naubos din ng tatay ko 'yung perang ipinamana sa kanila. Kaya naman gabi-gabing lasing ang tatay ko at gabi-gabi n'ya ring binubugbog ang nanay ko dahil s'ya ang sinisisi n'ya sa lahat ng kamalasan n'ya.
"Wala ka kasing silbi! Kung hindi sana ikaw ang napangasawa ko ay maayos pa ang buhay ko ngayon!"
Bata pa lang ako ay alam kong hindi ako dapat nasasanay na marinig 'yung pagmamakaawa ng ina ko sa ama ko; alam kong mali kahit na ang parating sinabi ni Mama ay nararapat lang sa kanya 'yung mga pananakit at pagmumurang natatanggap n'ya dahil s'ya raw ang dahilan kung bakit naging gan'un si Papa.
"Greg, pabayaan mo na ang Papa mo. Pagod s'yang maghanap ng pera kaya naman palagi s'yang lasing."
"Mama, wala naman po s'yang dinadalang pera rito—"
"Shh...tama na at baka marinig ka pa ng Papa mo. Napakain mo na ba 'yung mga kapatid mo?"
"Opo."
"May sinasabi si Gwen na assignment n'ya sa Math kanina. Ang sabi ko ay hintayin ka."
"Ginawa ko na po."
"Ang bait naman ng Ah-hya na 'to. Bukas dadalhin ko si Geoffrey sa klinika ni Dr. Joaquin dahil lumalala na ang ubo n'ya. Hintayin mo ang mga kapatid mo at sabay-sabay kayong umuwi, ha. Ingatan mo sila lalo na sa pagtawid, Anak."
"Opo—"
"Regina! Putang-ina kang babae ka, nasaan ka ba?!"
"O, sige na, doon ka na sa kuwarto n'yong magkakapatid. I-lock mo ang pinto at kahit tawagin ka ng Papa mo, h'wag kang lalabas."
"Mama..."
"Kargahin mo si Geoffrey. Ingatan mo 'yung ulo n'ya, Anak—"
"Mama...h'wag ka nang pumunta d'un...sasaktan ka lang ni Papa..."
"Okay lang ako. H'wag kang magbubukas ng pinto..."
I was twelve when I stood up to my father, we had just lost my younger brother to pneumonia and his death had taken a toll on my mother.
