UNDEAD BECOMES HER, wednesday addams

ii. getting a wooden coat

Ollie slapped the nuisance flapping around her head. "Francis, stop eating the bees! They're bad for your stomach and they didn't do anything to you! They make the honey you like so much- Francis Thomas Archemoros you let that insect go right now-"

"Am I interrupting something?" a dry voice asked. 

Ollie looked up and saw none other than Wednesday Addams giving her a bemused look. "No, I'm just trying to convince this damn bird that he can't keep eating bees and expecting there to be no consequences. Are you here to join the Hummers?"

"It appears so. Is it just you and Eugene?"

"Yep. I love the honey these little suckers make, and so does Francis. This is Francis, by the way. Say hi, Francis." Francis clacked his bone beak in Wednesday's direction. 

"You're a necromancer?" Wednesday asked, accepting the netted helmet that was offered to her by Eugene. 

"Necrobotanist. It's made life pretty interesting, that's for sure. Did you join just because you need an extracurricular?"

"That, and I can appreciate the beauty of venomous insects."

"We are going to get along well, I think. You have beautiful eyes. I think they match the honey. Do you want me to bring you a jar so you can see if you like it?"

Wednesday was silent for a moment, allowing Ollie to admire her in silence. She had alternating crushes on the siren twins and also Bianca, but considering she was a skeleton plant freak, she hadn't done anything about any of them. Point was, she knew what beauty looked like and could admire it, and Wednesday Addams had impeccable genetics on her side. 

"Yes," Wednesday said finally. "I would like that. Thank you."

"No problem- Francis, open your beak right now. Now, sir. Sir, please, let the bee go. Sir, please-"

"What have you heard about the Harvest Festival?" Wednesday asked suddenly.

"Uh, not much. I won a plant and gave that to Thornhill, I won a wolf plush and gave that to Enid, and I won several bears of varying kinds and gave those to Thornhill, too. She takes pity on me and holds onto them for me until I get my affliction under control. Why, did something happen?"

"Do you know Rowan Laslow?"

"He got expelled or whatever. He was a dork, but nice. He's the only reason I passed fencing for a while. Why, did something happen?"

"He was murdered," Wednesday said casually, like she was discussing what she had for breakfast.

Ollie blinked. "That's rough. He was a dork, yeah, but nobody deserves to get murdered. What happened?" A panic vine of blackberries began to wind down her scalp, pricking at her skin. 

"He was torn apart by a monster, though I have no proof."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I reported it, and no body was recovered, and he showed up at school this morning and was suddenly expelled, and something isn't adding up." Wednesday crossed her arms over her chest. "Your bird is pecking at the hive."

"Goddamn it- FRANCIS! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN THE BONE JAIL IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!"

"Ollie, lower your voice, you're scaring the bees," Eugene cautioned, and her volume immediately dropped. 

"Bone jail?" Wednesday repeated.

"I take his head off and put it in a drawer for a full school day. He straightens his act after that."

"Fascinating. I would like to know more about this bird of yours. Francis, is that his name?"

"Uh-huh. And you're welcome to just hang out in the shed if you need privacy. I have to go now. Eugene, I'll see you in a couple days, alright? Alright." Ollie reached out and grabbed Francis, ignoring his surprised clacking. "Yoink. Later, Wednesday."

Wednesday said nothing. Ollie walked away.

Ollie was too physically weak to participate in the Poe Cup race, but she wasn't too weak to help paint the boat. When the day of the event rolled around, she was proud to see her handiwork in the water, and as soon as it left her sight, she sat down on the ground and took a power nap, instructing Francis to wake her up when the Black Cats returned.

Instead of being awoken to the nauseating feeling of having her intestines pecked at, Ollie was rather rudely jolted out of her sleep by Ms. Thornhill stepping directly onto her hand. 

"Ouch," Ollie said sadly. 

"Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry, Ollie, I didn't see you there-" Thornhill apologized, tripping over her words. 

"It's fine, I made myself hard to see. Anybody win yet?"

"Not yet, but- oh, look! It's the Gold Bugs and the Black Cats! Our team made it into the final two! Ah, I'm so proud of my girls!"

The Black Cats rammed against the Gold Bugs, sinking their ship, and they pulled up to the dock. 

"Heck yeah, go team," Ollie said, and fell asleep again. 

The ceremony passing the Poe Cup to Ophelia Hall was pleasant, if rather boring. She ducked out early to find a spot to rest, and found Wednesday hiding out by the Poe statue.

"Hey, there. Mind if I sit quietly beside you?" she asked, not waiting for an answer and sitting down on the other side of the statue.

"Everyone keeps smiling at me," Wednesday said, disgruntled. "It's unsettling and they should stop."

"I'm glad they're smiling at me, personally," Ollie admitted. "It's better than the sneers and slurs. Hey, unintentional alliteration. I hate that."

"Sneers and slurs?" Wednesday said, sounding very slightly intriguied.

"Yeah, you know, your regular racist and homophobic remarks, along with the occasional creative remarks about my outcast-ness."

"Hmm. You aren't a part of the main four, are you?"

"Nope."

"Then what is it?"

"I'll tell you what mine is if you tell me what yours is."

"I have psychic visions. I'm not elaborating. Your turn."

"I'm essentially sentient fungus."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm a necrobotanist, right? I have plant magic and death magic, except the death magic works through the plant magic. My insides are basically just plants, and my brain is fungus, and they all work together to pilot my body."

"That's fascinating. Could you show me how that works, maybe? I've never heard of it."

"Sure, stop by my room whenever. There is Enid, heading our way, so that's my cue to leave. Well done sticking it to Bianca. She's a lovely girl, but she really needs to be taken down a notch sometimes."

"Taking people down is a speciality of mine," Wednesday said. "Tell your bird I said hello."

"I will." But first, Ollie had to actually find him. He was around here somewhere, probably. That was a problem for future her.