Vines of Hunger | ONC 2024

chapter three | mortal panic

The flu wasn't an issue a few weeks ago, it wasn't even an issue a few days ago, life was as normal, still shitty, but normal nonetheless, so why can I now feel my heart thudding against the bones caging my chest in?

I need to get back to Eliana, I need to make sure she's okay, but in that same breath, I need to make sure my Nan-Nan's going to be okay. I can't just leave her here to fend for herself, especially since we don't know if she's contracted the virus from someone, if she right now is carrying the very thing that this man in front of us is so scared of, what everyone one seems to be afraid of.

I breathe in, letting my lungs engulf the warm air that enters the two expanding bags within my chest, then letting my mind follow the now toxic air back out and past the cracks that have formed on my parched lips.
I'm doing the same thing they are; the people out there, I'm reacting to my fear that's solely based on the say-so of others, I am giving in to what I'm feeling in this moment and I can't do that.

Tingles run up the small hairs of my arms as heat begins to spread throughout my cheeks, with such a burning sensation that it feels as though it scolds deep into the crevices of my flesh.

Another breath in.

And I can't do that, for Eliana's sake, I can't fall victim to the 'maybes' and 'might happens' as everyone else has, I can't let it suffocate me, I won't let it.

One last breath.

The warmth dies down but still smoulders beneath the skin like a constant reminder of what's around me, and what needs to be done.

Car horns ricochet out around our vehicle as we sit ideal in the congested street, the exhaust fumes spew through the vents blowing in the humid air from the outside.

My gaze slips down to my Nan as she stares out the window, the bags beneath her eyes drooping further into the purple-tinted skin.

She might have this virus, and I'm sitting right next to her, my knee pressed into hers, and if she doesn't have it, I could be sending her to an ER that is infested with it, and I don't think she'd make it through that, not in the condition she's in now.

Nan's wrinkled fingers twist together, something she does when she's deep in thought about something that's bothering her.

I just need to get her to the hospital, get her checked out and then bring her home, safe with Eliana, and then all will be fine with both of them.

They'll both be safe. I don't have to choose.

I pull my fingers from the tangled mess of my coarse hair and grab my bag that was tossed on the floor when we first entered. "Thank you so much for the ride," I extend my hand into the the fake leather purse and let my fingers gravel at each item that was lazily tossed in there at some point, until paper crinkles beneath the chipped grooves of my nails.

"Here's twenty-five, keep the change, and again, thank you,"

I'd fling open the door, but the car is pushed so close to the vehicle beside us that I can only creek it open and hope that I'm able to slip out of the small gap that has been made available, without having to pay for insurance for the rest of my days. The side of the vehicle grinds into my pale skin as I heave my distorted limbs through the small gap.

"Wait-wait-wait!" the man's calloused hand comes swinging around to the back seat, an attempt to catch my attention before I fully slip away. "I-Im really sorry, but you're gonna need more than this," he presses his full lips into a thin line against the wisps of his thick bread, as though holding back a plea.

My gaze glides over the paper notes, confused. I've never had to pay more than twenty dollars for rides that are shorter than this one, so what does he mean not enough?