I've given you every part of my love, I've shown you my fears, my hurt, my happy. You have seen parts of me that I would never let anyone see
So why isn't my love ever enough?
I've shown you pain and I understand it hurt but have you not too?
You've treated me like the love I give you is too much, you say I'm attached and maybe I am but that doesn't take away from the fact that I love you.
I love you how a mother loves her son I love you like a wife I love you like a best friend but you still complain.
I complain too I've said I wished you'd give me attention just so I could get your attention at that moment. "You never give me attention" comes out my mouth what I mean by that is please give me attention right now.
My words always coming out wrong
I don't mean to cause pain I can't communicate the best and you can't either. That's what makes this so hard but I still stick by even with all this pain I will always be there following you around like a dog. I am the dog, I'm not proud of it but I let go of my self control when I'm with you.
You don't want to be in my life but you want to be in the baby's life. Is it selfish of me to wish we could be a family that maybe we could be okay and you'd be there for me while I'm pregnant?
You make painful jokes at me, you laugh when I start crying.
You laughed at my face when you left me because I was in too much pain to let go of you.
My mind spiraling as you tell me to let you go "No don't let go hug him for a little longer before it all ends" my thoughts go, I try to kiss you and you push away and leave.
I watch you enter the car leaving me all alone. I lose my balance and fall to the ground, crying so much I can't breathe I've lost all self control of myself I can no longer be okay with you out of my life.
The once happy red head was now the saddest girl.
I try to keep you in my life but you keep slipping through my fingers. I so badly wish that you would stay in my life forever, no problems with each other no pain just love.
Loving is hard but I was willing to go through all that pain so I could be with you because when I'm with you I'm okay again.
I can laugh.
I can smile so hard my cheeks hurt.
I can feel like I'm safe and I'm gonna be okay.
I can no longer feel safe and be okay now that you've left me with no one but myself.
Where do I go from here?
