Best Thing on the Internet

Elizabeth Tucker

I wake up to my alarm and a growling stomach. I woke up from my nap too late for dinner, so I didn't eat anything. I got out of bed and grabbed a banana from the banana holder in our kitchen. I opened it as I grabbed Hailey's purse from the floor. I go into her room to grab her clothes and wake her up. I switch on the lights and see a shirtless boy shoot up.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. Wake up Hailey for me?" I say as I slam the door shut and stand with my back against the door. All I can do is laugh to myself as I hear the boy through the door.

"Your roommate always bust in like that?" He asks as I hear one of them stand up and walk around her room.

"She wakes me up for work, especially when I get late night booty calls," I hear her say. I just chuckle and walk to the kitchen. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open my messages to Spencer.

Me: I know it's like 1:30 there, but good morning.

I go to put my phone in my pocket, but feel a buzz when it is about half way in. I pulled it back out to see what it was from.

Spencer FBI: Wow, you do wake up early for work.

Me: What are you doing up so early?

Spencer FBI: There was a new victim about an hour ago, so we got called in.

Me: You really never sleep when you are on a case huh?

I wait for a couple minutes, but Hailey comes out of her room before Spencer answers me, so I put my phone in my back pocket as she walks over, grabbing her purse.

"Late night?" I say as we both walk towards the front door. She just groans as she walks out before me. "Should I lock him in?"

"Yeah, he sleeps more than I do. He will still be asleep by the time we get back," she says to me as we make our way down the stairs.

"I thought the guy you were talking to lived like two states away?" I asked as we walked out the front door of our building. She just looks at me.

"He does."

"You slut," I joke with her. The cold morning air feels good versus the stuffy air of our stairwell. We walk the half of a block to the coffee shop and start doing our usual morning routine. We get through a few hours of talking and making drinks before Hailey turns to me.

"Have you talked to Mr. FBI?" She asked. I turn away from making our coffees and nod my head.

"It is actually Dr. FBI," I corrected her as I put a lid on our second iced coffees of the day. She just stares at me as I hand her the coffee. I hear the front door ding, she is still just staring at me. I laugh a little and walk past her to the register. "Good morning guys."

"Good morning Elizabeth. What's going on with Hailey?" One of the cops who just came in asked. He is a regular that comes in every day and gets the same thing. A large black coffee. I start pouring it up as I look over to Hailey, still standing there in shock.

"Her new boy toy is a doctor and an FBI agent," Hailey finally pipes up as I ring out the officer.

"You're dating a fed?" He asks in his Louisiana accent. We have become pretty good friends over the past year or so. I never see him outside of these four walls, but seeing someone almost everyday for a year makes you get close with them.

"We aren't dating. I met him like three days ago. We started talking online. That's it," I explain as Will, the cop, hands me money for his coffee.

"Will, aren't you married to a fed?" Will's new partner asks.

"I never knew that about you," Hailey pipes up from the back. She always kind of had a crush on Will the cop, but she is acting like this is the first time she has heard he was married. I have heard it many times over the past 12 months. I just roll my eyes as I pour up Will's new partner a black coffee as well. He was too busy making googly eyes as Hailey to notice I put the cup in front of him. I give him a small whistle to get his attention.

"$2 pal," I say to him. He pulls a 5 out of his wallet and tells me to keep the change. He also pulls out his card and hands it to me.

"In case you guys ever need anything," he says, looking more to Hailey than me. I just look at Will and we share a laugh. I put the card on top of a small pile of cards we have going with guys telling us 'in case we needed anything' as the two cops walked out.

"You knew he was married," I said as I started cleaning off the counter. Most of our work days consist of talking with our regulars and messing around while cleaning. "If you want the new one's number, it's right here on top of the 'just in case' pile by the way," I tell her as I pick up my phone. Spencer still hasn't texted me back. It is 7:30 where he is and he was awake at 1:30. I turn back to see Hailey putting the number in her phone.

We get through the rest of our Friday shift with ease. I tell the afternoon girls what we are out of and to write down anything else they notice and I will order it on Monday. Hailey and I grab our stuff and head out the door.

"Do you think that new cop would think it's weird if I text him?" Hailey asks as I unlock the door to our apartment.

"There is Mr. Shirtless inside right now and you're thinking of texting another guy you just met today?" I ask, keeping my voice low and the door closed.

"Didn't you recognize the guy in my room from yesterday?" She asks with a smirk on her face.

"I am tired of taking customers because you slept with them and now it is awkward for you to help them," I say as I open the door. I feel my phone buzz as I set my purse down. I pull it out and see that Spencer texted me.

Spencer FBI: Hey, sorry for leaving you all day. We caught the guy early this morning, so we all decided to come home. I am just now walking through my door.

I smile down at my phone and try to think of a reply when I see the guy walk out of Hailey's room. He looks into the kitchen and sees me. I look at him and try to remember him from yesterday. I don't. I have the worst memory when it comes to faces and names.

"I am sorry about this morning, you just scared me," he said as walked into our kitchen wearing nothing but sweatpants. I look around the room for Hailey, but I don't know where she went.

"Profession?" I ask him. He looks a bit confused but tells me he is a construction worker. Hailey calls out his name and he just grabs one of my apples before walking back to his room. I feel absolutely dumbfounded at this moment right now. I just open the drawer where we keep a notebook of the professions Hailey has slept with or talked to and I put a tally next to 'construction worker'. I pick up my phone again to text Spencer back.

Me: Oh wow, did you get any sleep?

Spencer FBI: Yeah, I slept pretty well on the plane. How was work?

Me: A typical Friday, nothing special. Glad to have two days off though.

Spencer FBI: You get weekends off? That's good.

Me: Do you? I thought government bodies don't work weekends

Spencer FBI: We are more like cops than government workers. We aren't scheduled for the weekends, but we can get called in at any time.

Me: Oh how fun. Like doctors.

Spencer FBI: Medical doctors on call at a hospital, yeah.

Me: Right, because not all doctors are the same.

Spencer FBI: I know, I am one

I look up from my phone and laugh. "Oh I know," I say to myself as I make my way to my couch. I sit down and look down at my phone again.

Me: Really? In what?

Spencer FBI: Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering

That I did not know.

Me: You have three doctorates and you're only 30?

Spencer FBI: That is a story for another time.