being pulled in by the most manipulative men ever and loving it because its familiar its so sad and so pathethic for you,yet all you want it for someone to love you hold you and kiss you til your vision is blurred and youre drunk off your mind wich you know all of is crazy and bad thats something you miss ,you miss the craziness the making out at a random playground drunk off your mind them holding you but yet you know its fake but that kinda what makes it fun the making out the emotions that are somewhat fake ,you miss that toxicity and that gaslighting fakeness that they wrapped you around their finger with.
you wanna have reckless sex with feelings during a hot melting summer day between sweaty sheets while making out seeing eachother melting away between eachothers arms while their skin feels cold to your touch while drinking strong alcohol ,them choking you holding you by your throath while kissing your drunk sticky lips while youre barely dressed for them.
you miss the messy love wich isnt really even love its more like unhealthy obsession to love and the person wich isnt healthy but god damn its messy and oh how good it feels it feels like steamy car windows after intercourse like running in fields during nighttime drunk off your mind with bloody knees laughing then fucking afterwards but also doing cute dates and plans.
we should not drink alot but imagine drinking with them and laying next to eachother holding hands like you are confused because all you want is innocent love but all your mind wants is toxic oversexualized love that makes you traumatized to the point youre crying for months just because its more familiar to you.
i know ur reading this its 3am im tired okay go to theraphy
