Angel Grace and Lilin Heart

Fallen Angel

"Thank you... I'm happy that I met you."

His words echoed into silence in that impossibly large chasm. Without his voice there to fill the space as it had been doing for minutes, it was like he was already dead.

Yet he wasn't.

Shinji had never realized the curse that was the synchronized sensations between himself and his Eva. The beast's hands were an extension of his own; every nerve in his shaking palm was firing with the feeling of what his Eva was holding.

Kaworu was miniscule, body pressed unmoving by tons of shiny, purple metal, and it was Shinji doing it. It was Shinji who held Kaworu, and the Angel felt like a pitiful kitten stuck in his hand the way he was.

Completely at Shinji's mercy. And he was ready to die.

He had asked it so pleadingly, to die by Shinji's hand. But Shinji wasn't ready to do it. He wasn't ready to take the life of the only person who'd ever loved him. And he never would be.

But it didn't matter that he wasn't ready. Kaworu had made the decision for him. All Shinji had to do was fulfill his desire, and once again, Shinji was nothing more than a tool with the sole purpose of doing as he was told. He'd become accustomed to it - to submitting to whatever he was told to do. And suddenly, he realized Kaworu wasn't the powerless one here. Even when he was about to be killed, Kaworu was still the one guiding him.

Shinji bowed his head when it happened so that he wouldn't have to see the life fade from those eyes that'd never glimmer at him ever again. And yet, he could still feel them. The boy was staring straight at him even though there was no way he could actually see him through his Eva. And he didn't look away, not even when Shinji finally squeezed the giant's hand shut.

But the sensation of crushing and the sound of cracking Shinji expected never cane.

A bright flash of something forced itself through Shinji's closed eyelids. There was a force pressing back against his hand. Like a wild cord of electricity, it shook and surged through the gaps of Unit-01's fingers, and Shinji's hand tingled painfully. Shocked and frightened, he squeezed the hand harder. He wanted it to stop, to get it over with. Why was this happening?

A horrible humming sound, unnatural and deep like a warbling gong rang through the abyss and dug loudly into Shinji's ears. The boy gasped, the tingling in his palm stronger, pricking up his arm now. It wasn't until his arm started shaking violently like it was being electrocuted that Shinji attempted to release his grip, but now, the thing in his hand wouldn't let go.

He made a panicked, desperate noise in the back of his throat. As the tingling shot further through his body, he frantically thought of Rei, her body corrupted by an Angel, whom she sacrificed her life to kill, and then of Asuka, her mind ruined by the projections forced into her by another Angel. It was happening to him now; this thing that couldn't possibly be the same being that'd held his hand in the bathing room was surging its way through him as if his body was as easily conductible as a battery.

His world spun dangerously as the thing traveled harshly up his neck, his breathing quick and panicked. Immediately, he tried to run - it was all he could think of doing - but now his Eva was rooted in the pool of LCL below, and his vision was blocked by an impossibly bright light. Anguished beyond belief, Shinji struggled. But a rumbling shook the beast's husk, one unpleasantly familiar.

Its hand forcefully closed around the Angel. Shinji heard a loud crack. The electricity Shinji had so forcefully been gripped with shot back to its source, and the sound rang silent.

Everything was calm.

Then, a giant burst of energy exploded from his Eva's hand, propelling it backwards. Unable to see for the light, and unable to hear from the ringing in his ears, Shinji was enveloped with a white-hot pain, and the panic of falling endlessly through the air was the last thing he felt, before his mind went blank, and the white was all he could see.