Secrets - Criminal Minds

Chapter 9 - Truths and Lies

Valerie knew Aaron was aware she was joining the BAU from the moment he stopped looking at her as if she were a locked vault, which he wanted to find the keys and delve into the deep end with her. Hotchner has been distant since New Year's Day, avoiding her during their morning runs and taking the elevator every time.

Now, he passed by her with a suitcase in hand, his polished black suit covered by a black raincoat. His raven hair was professionally pulled back compared to the carefree look she'd gotten used to during the holidays. Aaron opened up to her during the Christmas period, while Valerie tried to keep a healthy distance between them, knowing their relationship was about to come to an end.

It hadn't worked, but she had still tried.

But now, Valerie's heart ached for Aaron's return, yearning for him to face her with that knee-bending smirk he had used through the holidays. Val longed for the devilish glint in his eyes, which had stirred emotions in her that had been dormant for years.

She sighed as she walked into her apartment, ignoring the ache in her heart. Sweat and raindrops travelled down her body, leaving a freezing cold trail behind. Mary Puppins was on her the second that Valerie closed the door, jumping on her owner and licking the sweat running down Valerie's face.

Her morning runs didn't feel the same as in the last few months. Her running partner, the company that warmed her every step, the man plaguing her mind every second of the day, was distant and cold—doing his best to avoid her.

Valerie couldn't handle another change in her life, but she was well aware that this was simply one of many more to come. She would be reallocated somewhere else in the US or Europe in a few months. Val had given her life away to the agency, giving them the right to use her as they pleased, even if it meant destroying the relationships she longed for.

Valerie got up and ready to shower after allowing Mary Puppins to replace her sweat with saliva. The boiling water cleared her body from the dirt of the outside world, but it did nothing to clean the emptiness she felt. Val should've kept her distance from the Hotchners, Aaron, and everyone in this damn building.

Why did she ever think she could have a normal life?

Keeping Blaire as a friend had already been nearly impossible, and now she had let the remaining of her hopeful, stupid little heart control her choices and become friends with her neighbour. Was that what they were? Aaron and Valerie had been closer to crossing the bridge to more than friends than they were to friends.

Hotchner's gift screamed from her side table that he did like and cared for her, begging her to act and return their relationship to where they had been: close to taking a step too forward that they would both regret but never forget. But, alas, there was nothing to do. Even though Valerie had asked him to give her time to come clean, Clyde emailed Aaron all the information he needed to know, and now Aaron believed her to be a liar.

She owed Aaron an apology, and he would get one today, but whatever their relationship was, it was over and done. Valerie needed to accept that and move on.

It would be easier this way.

⁂

Mary Puppins barked as someone rang at the door.

"Shhh, Mary Puppins."

Valerie knew it was impossible, but she still hoped that the person standing on the other side of the door was Aaron, coming to talk to her before her first day.

She got on her tiptoes to see through the peephole. It was definitely not Aaron on the other side of the door. Dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes stared straight ahead at the door, waiting for Val to open it. It had been six months since she last saw her unit chief, and his smug face was no less annoying.