Before Sunday

Thirty One

1:15 PM

I have to talk to him later. Beg for forgiveness. I turn back toward Xavier and pull one of the patio chairs out, pushing him down to sit. I look at the bouncer. "Do you have a wet facecloth, maybe some ice?"

He nods curtly. "Would you like me to call for medical attention, Miss?"

I shake my head quickly. After examining Xavier's face, I'm sure it's more blood than actual injury. "No thank you. I just need to clean him up."

The man turns to leave and I continue to wipe the blood that is still fresh with my sleeve to make it easier to get the stuff that is drying in the sun off with the cloth. "You're so stupid," I say to Xavier, teeth clenched. "I hate you right now, Xavier Morgan."

"Mouse, I'm sorry," he says. "It was a mistake. I deserved this. But don't ever say you hate me."

I want to scream at him, I want to ask him what was the mistake, thinking he's in love with me, kissing me, or smoking me in the side of the head with his fist but I don't do any of those things. Xavier looks entirely like a lost little boy—my own Peter Pan and I can't ignore the pull in my heart to help him. To fix him so I choose my words carefully. "I know you're sorry and no one deserves to be pummeled like that, X but what the hell were you thinking?"

Xavier's hand comes up and touches the side of my head he'd hit softly. "I-I-I would never hurt you, not ever on purpose. I hope you know that."

The bouncer returns with my requested items. "Thank you," I say, taking them from him. I set the ice on the table for now and turn my attention to cleaning Xavier's face.

I bring the cloth up to a slice above his eye and he cringes.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me physically, X. But you are hurting me. You're hurting me by trying to make me love you back in the same way you think you love me. I'll always love you, to the moon and back, but I'm in love with Jackson. Madly, crazy, stupid in love with him." I dab at the raw flesh with the washcloth. "I know that's not what you want to hear."

He looks down and whispers. "I know I'm hurting you and I'm sorry. I can't help the way I feel Lo, but I could have chosen a better way to go about it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you."

"I know." I continue my work and in ten minutes, I see his face again rather than a mask of bloody mess. He's going to be bruised no doubt but Jackson's assault has left him with minimal injuries—flesh wounds, and I can't exactly say he doesn't to some extent, deserve to wear them.

I grab the ice off of the table and hold it up to his face. Xavier's hand covers mine and he looks at me. "Mouse, I never ever meant for things to get out of hand. I love you and I do want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me. I'm sorry for everything. Everything."

I look at him and for the first time in weeks I see Xavier. My oldest, dearest friend, Xavier looking back at me. Not some jealous lunatic or possessive boy, just X. He means it.

"I accept your apology. I just need a little time, okay?"

He nods. "Fair." He shifts in his seat and digs out his wallet, handing me two twenty dollar bills. "Take a cab. Go to Jackson. And I know it's going to mean absolutely nothing coming from me, but tell him that I'm sorry okay. For everything," he says again.

"I will." I stand and look down at him. "Are you going to be okay?"

Xavier makes a pssh, noise and shrugs. "Not my first rodeo, Mouse. I'll be fine. Your boyfriend has one hell of a right hook."