Wires (Joshler One Shot)

Wires

"We talked about making it. Making it big time, where we would have people encouraging us through all of our hard times and not so hard times. People would be screaming our names when we walked on stage and people would tell us we saved them or changed their lives.

"We wanted to change the way people thought. Not completely, but we wanted people to know it's okay to feel what they feel and that it would always be alright. That they could make it through their life. That no matter how hard they had to fight to stay alive, it would be worth it.

"I guess in a way we did change the way some people thought..." Tyler took a deep breath and looked back up at Josh. A small smile was on his face, his eyes watering and distorting his vision. "But we wanted to change more peoples lives..."

Tyler cried a little more. "I wanted to change your life most. But I guess I really didn't. And I'm sorry, Josh. About everything."

Even after Tyler poured his aching heart out to his best friend, the grave said nothing back.

It never did.

- - -

Tyler sat on his bed with a gun in his hand and the faint sound of music in the air. Today marked six months. Six months since Josh died. Six months Tyler spent alone with only his thoughts and the reminders that he once had a friend.

Papers cluttered the desk before him; words were scribbled in illegible writing and coffee stains marked the corners.

Thoughts and tears marked the plans they had made. But now they were just his plans. He trusted nobody enough to share them with. He barely even trusted himself. He had only ever truly trusted Josh. Josh had been the smart one, the one who knew the exact routes and how to get in and out and how to survive.

Tyler was just the accomplice. But oh god did Josh make him feel happy and make him feel alive.

Now he felt nothing.

So maybe that's why he decided to use the plans that Josh wanted to be their last gig. Because he knew what would happen in the end, no matter what variables there were and how they went about it and what they did; they both knew the result would always be the end.

Tyler was finally okay with it, now that he had nothing to lose.

So he tightened his grip on the gun and turned off the music. He said goodbye to his apartment as he picked up the empty travel bag and a lump of blue fabric by the door. He gently held onto the door handle, maybe because he wished he would change his mind; but he didn't.

He walked down the stairs to the first floor, never touching the railings or trash or the disgusting puddles of who-knows-what that littered the floor. Him and Josh could have afforded such a nicer place; but this shitty, run down apartment was where they had made so many memories, they didn't dare move out.

After Tyler recalled every memory that had been made on every floor, he reached the lobby and left the building, maybe for the last time- hopefully for the last time. He walked to the car Josh used to drive on summer nights, and forced himself not to cry as he started the engine and threw the bag and gun into the next seat.

Wiping tears away from his eyes, he put the car in drive and left the parking lot. The radio was turned off. Tyler couldn't bring himself to touch anything in the car except for the steering wheel. He was afraid he would wipe Josh away, and Tyler did not want to do that. So he sat there, alone with his thoughts and his plans and the faint memories of the two boys who had once been in love.

"Ya know Ty, one day we're gonna be rich. So rich I'll be able to buy you the nicest clothes and the nicest house and everything just because I want you to be happy."