Why So Serious? (Heath Ledger)

Chapter 13

Soon enough, I was back in my apartment with some of the essential things I'd need for my plan. But when was the right time to fall off the grid... obviously not now.

I tossed everything into my closet and fell onto my bed. The covers were so soft. The covers a mess, still unmade from the previous night.

I was so tired, I figured some sleep would do me good so that, maybe when I woke up, I could think clearly.

So I slept.

I don't know how long I'd slept, but suddenly I sat straight up. I turned my head to the left to see that my window was open, the wind was whistling its way into my room and my curtains were blowing up off the floor.

I quickly ran over and slammed it shut. I'd barely had time to turn around and react before large hands suddenly wrapped around my the back of my neck and I felt my muscles tense up for a moment. And then, I was out like a light.

When I awoke I was strapped to a chair in a semi-dark room, only faint dying out lights on the ceiling..... funny how this seemed to become a pattern, dejavuu.

I looked around to see that several oil cans surrounded me. Literally, there must have been hundreds of them. I yelled out in the stillness of the room. It was as if the words were not my own.

"Where are you hiding you crazy bastard! I will find you one day and I will slit your goddamn scars for a second time!"

I heard a muffled sigh, but it sounded unintentional.

"Hello?!" An oddly familiar voice called out from somewhere, and I looked down to see that there was a house phone neatly duct taped to the floor. Once again the voice cried out in fear.

"What the hell is going on!" Then I realized who it was.

"John? John! John I'm here!! I'm here!"

I yelled as loudly as I could, but it's as if he didn't hear me.

"John? Are you there? John-" I was cut off by him yelling for help.

"Hello? Hello? Someone?!"

His words made me think of how helpless I had once felt.. when I had been in a dark room alone. Yelling for release from my captivity. I thought that, maybe he really couldn't hear me. I suddenly realized what might happen. Maybe this was purposely organized, or was this just a malfunction?

Fear crept under my skin as I felt myself about to vomit. I'd only hoped that maybe I would wake up some how, and this would all be a nightmare.

The chances of that were much lower than of this all being real. I sat there, for about an hour, maybe even more than that, hanging my head low. John hadn't said another word since then.

I'd almost lost all hope, I was ready to die. I'd given up. He'd won.

But then, as if on cue, I could hear double doors, somewhere I couldn't see, being flung open. Several heavy boots echoing off the floor. I looked up relieved, it was Gordan and his team.

I was immediately unstrapped and I ran over to gordan.

"Gordan, they've got him. They've got John! Please tell me you've saved him too? Please."

Gordan looked around at his troops and then at me with sunken apologetic eyes. He took off his cap and held them in his hands.

And before he even spoke, I could slowly feel my heart dissolving, crumbling into nothingness, tearing in half. My eyes quickly swelled with tears, but I didn't cry.

"I am so sorry, Alisa. We couldn't make it in time, we tried, but we were too late. The building had already-" He struggled to speak,"John is.. it was like a bomb-"

I cut him off.

"He's dead."

Hearing myself admit he was dead only made things much, much worse. But in that moment I felt nothing. I couldn't cry, I just..... It was as if Alisa had suddenly died. And I was no one. I felt nothing.

I couldn't move, my feet became heavy, like the concrete ground.
Gordan took one last sorrowful glance towards me, with his hand on my shoulder, then walked off.

I was taken home that night, escorted by some of his troops. I didn't tell them that I had been taken from my apartment because I knew they wouldn't have let me go back, and they would've searched my place and found the things I'd bought.

It was while I was being driven home that I could hear two of the cops talking about how they had sent Batman after John, and they had come for me.

As I got out of the car they asked me if I needed anything else, but I shook my hesd. I was given new keys, telling them that I'd lost mine.

I opened my front door and all the lights were off, but the moonlight shined in threw the living room window. Illuminating the apartment in a surreal blushish-grey, making it seem more of a dream than real.

I quietly walked in and shut the door behind me. This no longer seemed like a home. I leaned against the door and felt something wet on my cheek, my breathing quickened.

A single tear ran down my cheek, then another. And suddenly it all came crashing down on me. I began to cry. I cried so much that everything in my apartment became blurry. John was gone. He was really gone.

I slowly in slid down the door and onto the floor. The tears still coming. I brought my knees up to my chest and ducked my head into them, hiding the rest of my face with my arms.

It was as if I had held in my emotions and now suddenly I was me again. I remembered all the times I'd spent with John.

He'd been so kind to me when I'd first met him. I was coming out of the airport and I had dropped my purse and everything in it had fallen out.

He'd ran right over to me and picked everything up, and that's when we started talking, he told me about this amazing party he was going to hosted by one of his good friends.

He had invited me.
And I'd gone to the store that very same day, and I had bought a red dress.

I remembered when I had stayed with him, I had had so much fun. When he had took me out to lunch. He's the one who had bought me my phone. The way he had danced with me at the ball.

I lifted my head up, my eyes probably red and swollen from crying, I leaned back up against the door. Softly starting to bang my head against it.

He'd been so nice to me, he'd even liked me. And I realized I'd liked him. I then remembered the note he'd written me. I think it was on the couch or something.

It only made my heart break more. I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I quickly ran to the bathroom in my bedroom and knelt over the toilet. I began to throw up, but it only lasted a couple minutes.

I stayed there in the bathroom shaking, and crying. I yelled violently.

"It's not fair! How could you do this to me! It's not fair!"

I whispered,"It's not fair."

I don't know how long I cried, but I can tell you that I did end up crying myself to sleep, and while I did, I promised myself that I would never stop, never stop searching, never stop looking for the Joker until I'd found him. Then I would make him suffer. The same way he made me suffer.