Marusya [1] // Etnogenez book series

1. Panic Attack [1]

You know the feeling of sudden panic that arises out of nowhere, for no apparent reason? Just for a moment, it drives you crazy, accelerates the heart to 240 beats per minute - it seems as if it is about to explode. At the head of the fog creeps - and then the heat and horror, chilling, and at the same time forced to run?
Panic attacks - most importantly the mental illness of the XXI century - a century ago was not considered seriously. Symptoms blamed on anything, not only on the disease. There could even be called a malingerer and a liar, that hardly adds optimism. But, fortunately, once mankind has recognized - there is a disease. And that means that it should be treated. At that time these feelings, one way or another, faced every tenth - and gradually widens the circle of victims, the disease struck indiscriminately, like a bolt from the blue.
Maroussia stood in the middle of a huge room filled with people, where all somewhere in a hurry - someone on a plane, and someone from the aircraft on the taxi rank, rentomobiley, helicopters and high-speed trains. They fled, with his head on the boards that were hung throughout the building and called to turn left, or climb to the roof of the fourth body, a snack in the cafe 'dill and parsley, "pay taxes or go into the office emergency psychological assistance. On the wrist Maroussi was glued virtually invisible transparent silicone strip - patch million thinnest needle through which the skin is continuously introduced stopadrenalin - a drug that blocks the release of adrenaline, the main culprit of a panic attack. The patch was not working. Most likely, because Maroussia, as usual, missed the moment when it had to be changed to a new one. Maroussia even rubbed his finger, as if trying to squeeze out the rest of the drug is out of the tube, but the patch has not acted, and panic rises stronger, stuck in a pulsating lump in his throat prevented breathing.
"Ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven ..."
Marussia began counting hundred in reverse, as taught by the pope - it was necessary to concentrate on something and shift attention, until the condition is stabilized ... "Ninety-six ..."
Panic attack only lasts a few minutes, but during that time the person is going through such a horror that ... some unfortunate managed to jump a train or two hundredth floor, just to stop the torture.
"Ninety-five, ninety-four ..."
Attacks can haunt you for a lifetime, happening several times a week, but it is impossible to get used to them. They can only be taken as a regular online conference of parents with school teachers. Yes, you can wait for the attack, to know about it, be ready, and all the same - every time she would attack you suddenly. And in that moment, when you relax for a moment and divert the study of chocolate bars in a shop window, to watch the news or talk on the communicator.
"Ninety three..."
Maroussia tried not to look at people, it is just a quick paced, looking at the floor, which was all the striated markings as motorway. And duplicate message boards and panels: an offer to try out the new train - to the center in 8 minutes (after Moscow launched helicopters, railways administration had hard times, and now they went out of their to oust competitors). Law firm "Momental" (marriages and divorces for 20 minutes at the airport), a cocktail "Revival" (stem cells with vanilla flavor and fluffy foam - fools not run ever), "stopadrenalin" prolonged action ... Maroussia followed glance where pointing arrow, and turned to the pharmacy.
"New lungs - it's easy!" Silicone reassuring girl at the door and breathed in deeply conditioned air of great size. Twenty years ago, these dolls were sold in specialized stores until someone does not come up with the idea to replace them promo girls. Insert an audio file and a motor, causing cracking plastic chest was cheaper than hiring students live, in principle, the same mindless, but requiring more and more pay.
"Stopadrenalin!" Marussia blurted, leaning on the counter and holding a personal badge.
Surprisingly, at airports still have the pharmacy with these pharmacists. It said the Ministry of Health "has lost a lot of health" at war with the State Corporation "Rostehno" which vigorously lobbied the replacement of all sellers in the machines.
"I'm sorry, but your account is blocked ..."
The pharmacist looked like a real prehistoric relic, though stressing the problem of endangered species - an ancient old man in a white plastic robe, more like a garbage bag.
"Locked?"
The old man plunged into the badge reader and shook his head.
"Did you run out of money ?"
The funds were, in this Maroussia no doubt, but why badge did not work? Because the drug proved unavailable, the panic only intensified. Maroussia felt tears in their eyes, a lump in my throat grew, causing appreciable pain.
"Please, I need to ..."
"You can use the emergency cabinet of psychological support."
"I do not need support, I need a Band-Aid!"
"I'm sorry, but your account is blocked"
Why it was necessary to keep alive the seller if, in fact, they are no different from the soulless machines.
"I am feeling very bad, please. I'll give you my watch for it!"
"The Cabinet of urgent psychological support is ..."
Maroussia whirled and ran out of the shop, accidentally hitting the doll at the door. The girl fell to the floor with silicone face, but continued to work with dedication: after each breath, her head lifted and pointless nuzzle in tile, stubbornly repeating: "Easy, easy, easy ..."
Run!
This idea arose in my head, like a flash. The main thing - do not turn around. By the end of the hall, the elevator does not go! Why is that? Do not go! So, the stairs down to the first level, there is the hallway in the hotel sector, the infinite-hour reception, followed by a post office, a staircase down to the cinema or to the right of the corridor - shops.
Down!
Maroussia never for a second thought about where to go - thought up. Now they control the movement. Cabinet emergency psychological support - funny, though he himself ran to meet him. Past! 36 cinemas. Farther! Toilets, infirmary, shops - Maroussia was suddenly on the floor above, damn planning; and then down the stairs.
This tall gray-haired man, who was now standing with his back to Marusya, the man who ran after her, and she caught the first - what did he want? Maroussia exactly remember his face incredibly pale, with bright blue veins on his temples and neck, transparent person ...? But she had never seen him before. Some fraction of a second - and turned gray, but Maroussia was already running back. Danger. This man presented a danger to her, and in the building, he was not alone. Buy a ticket and hide in the cinema? Badge is not working. Call for help? And how to explain? Call? Maroussia fumbled in his jacket pocket communicator and pressed the button.
"Your number is blocked ..."
Maroussia pressed the button again and again ...
"Contact Support, or ..."
Down by two flights rentomobiley parking. You sit down at any instead of the ignition key and documents - all of the same coin. Start button and a red flashing.
SORRY, YOUR RIGHTS blocked.
Do not turn around. Do not look in the mirror, because it's already there. Do not panic and do not think. Just run. By the end of the hall, there are about a hundred visits, jump over the barrier and up the rubber band on the first level, and from there down the elevator, the elevator and no options - a large, bright room high-speed trains, the turnstile and security service.
Personal badge. Personal badge - your everything. Identification. Driver's license, bank account, medical records, insurance policy, the ignition key, house keys, access to the computer system ... a train ticket in the end!
Sorry, your account is blocked.
Some idiot thought up to make turnstiles sound notification blocked users. These things began to roar like a siren and did not miss you in their prehensile arms.
"Let your badge?"
The Security Service must respond to such incidents. Locked user - it's not just a man without a ticket, he was a criminal. It is not clear that all have to commit to your block - to kill the president? Maroussia did not kill anyone, and besides, it did not mean to kill her, so she has overcome obstacles as well as the barrier ... and now his legs to the trains ... to disobey the security services - a lousy story, even for the daughter of a diplomat. Countdown from ten. Nine, eight, seven, six - no more than three steps to the door of the train. Five, four, three, electroshock charge between the blades and - facing the floor. Like the silicone doll.