The Raven Girl

The Raven Girl - chapter 38

My heart felt like it was going to explode. I was high on adrenaline and fear, my hands were shaking as I closed the barn door closed. This was the first time I had ever defended myself properly from Edvard. I should feel proud for sticking up for myself but I felt disturbed and sickened by the violence I had used against him even if was justified. I looked down at my hands and saw a fleck of blood against my pale skin. This wasn’t me. I ran from the cottage to the shore of the Loch and dipped my hands into the ice cold water and rubbed away the tiny fleck of blood. My confidence levels were plummeting along with the adrenaline. Drying my hands off on my jacket I ran back towards the bed and breakfast. Dante was waiting on the land, his hands shoved in his pockets looking slightly pissed.

“Where the hell did you go?” He demanded.

“I told you, I went for a walk.”

“There’s blood on your jacket.”

I glanced down to see a tiny spot of blood on my jacket that I had not noticed before. I folded the coat over and ignored Dante’s remark.

“Dante we need to talk.” I said bluntly.

“Then talk.”

“I want a divorce.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you love me.”

“I don’t love you.”

“You love me.” His voice was trembling with I don’t know what. Maybe it was fear or anger or panic or maybe it was all three. There was a maddening desperation in his voice and eyes that I had seen once before. I think deep down he knew that this eternal love was actually an illusion of his own imaginings. I had allowed myself to be sucked into his madness to escape my brother. Now I had to pull apart the deception and speak the truth.

“I ran away from you.” I said bluntly.

Dante caught hold of breath and held it in his lungs for a second, the rage in him evaporated and for the first time I saw nothing but a weak terrified man.

“Ebony, you were kidnapped-”

“Stop deluding yourself to hide your own guilt. You know why I ran and don’t you dare insult me by pretending you don’t know why. I remembered everything you did to me Dante.” The memories brought a raw angry emotion to the surface that was difficult to explain. I felt mad because in the past I had been degraded and abused. I saw Dante as some sort of saviour from Edvard but he turned out to be no better. Dante tried to plead with me,

“I’ll admit back then I was selfish and cruel-”

“You had some butcher hack off my wings!” I yelled at him.

“If I could change the past I would have never let that happen.”

“Well, that’s just it Dante. You can’t change the past, but thankfully I can change my future.”

“You can’t leave me! I love you.”

“I’m sorry Dante, it’s too little too late. We’re through.” I said.

For the first time I was able to pull that wedding ring that I had never been able to remove off my finger and threw it into the Loch. The ring made a little splash and disappeared into the lake. Dante stared at lake in a kind of stunned horror and then looked back at me.

“What the hell has gotten in to you?” He mumerred.

“I refuse to be pushed about by stupid men!”

“Ebony, what happened on your walk. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I had an epiphany! A revelation that made me realise I had to stand my ground instead of letting people push me about.”

“Who else has been pushing you about?” Dante asked.

I froze, sickness bubbled up inside me and stepped away from Dante. No one could know about Edvard. I couldn’t bring myself to explain the nature of his attraction to me. I didn’t want to be labelled as a freak.

“It’s none of your concern.” I said turning and running.

The tears came but I had no idea why. I ran until my lungs were burning and my legs felt like they were going to collapse beneath me. I sat down on the shore of the Lake and buried my face into my hands.

“I thought you didn’t love him?” A voice asked.

I looked up. There was a child a few feet in front of me treading water in the freezing cold lake. I nearly rushed in to the save the kid but the strange green colour of her hair made me think twice.

“What are you?” I asked.

“I have many names but human is not one.” It replied.

“What do you want?”

“The blood, we smelt it and came to the lake surface like instructed.”

“Instructed by who?”

“The beast.”

“Is the beast in there?” I asked pointing at the Loch.

“The beastie died long ago and lies buried under the silt. She never spoke much, I think she missed home. She told us about you ravens. She says to us that your blood tastes like nature did before it was corrupted by the likes of the vampires, dragon people and other folk. Sometimes I think we are the forgotten tombstones of our world. We once lived but no one remembered us. Ravens, foxes, the old ones were all forgotten. Few of us remain who can remember those golden days where we walked side by side with Mother Nature. Now it’s all towns and castles and war and whose wearing what. Pah, give me a nice cold lake any day! I shan’t be caught living in one of those brick shelters. No sirree! My bed is a nice blanket of sea kelp rippling in the current tickling my toes. I wish I could show the bottom of the lake, it’s a different world from this but you would probably drown.”

“Yeah, it’s a slight drawback from not having gills.”

“So tell me why are you crying if you hate you vampire love?”

I didn’t want to answer. Instead I replied.

“I was told I had to collect something from here.”

“Yes,” the child nodded, “That is also correct.”

“So do you have it?”

“No, you already have it.”

“What?”

“What you needed did not come in the shape of a box or sword. What you needed was the discovery of your own strength.” The creature explained.