chapter 23

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(Scarlet’s pov)

“what the hell is wrong with you?” I said. He looks at me like im crazy and his mouth falls open. “what the hell is wrong with me? It’s not me! Its your crazy brother! You should be asking him that question!” he shouted at me. “what did he do?” I ask. Blake gave out a long sigh and told me what happened. By the time he finished, I was rubbing my forehead. I was starting to get a migraine. I cant believe John can be this stupid! For fuck sakes! He getting married and he wants to throw it all away for some stupid feud. Blake looked at me worriedly and asked “ are you alright?”. I gave him a nod that I was fine.  “you don’t look fine.” he stated. “Blake listen. I know what your trying to do here okay. Im not born yesterday.” I said.

He open his mouth and his hands up but I silence him with my hand. He closed his mouth and dropped his hand to his side. I took a deep breath and looked at him right in the eyes.  “ I know you want to be with me and your probably going to tell my sappy part of the story. Of how you missed me and you were stupid then and with all that covered your going to come down on your knees begging for my forgiveness. “ I stated flatly. He looked at me like I have just told him that his mother died. “but…” he started. “but! But what Blake?! But what!” I shouted at him. “if I never came back, you wouldn’t have care! You would have just gone on with your fucking life!  You never even looked for me! I come back and I see you with another girl! You cant even keep your fucking dick to yourself! I bet that you even did it with some slut after you found out I was your mate!” I kept screaming at his face. “Scarl-” I interrupted him again. “shut up! I don’t want to hear your about your fucked up excuses. Everything about you is fucked up…” I was sobbing hysterically now. “Scarlet… please” Blake pleaded, he came closer to me. He wanted to hug me but I kept moving back.

“I first saw you, I gave you my heart. You felt it in the bond! I gave you my heart and soul Blake! Even when I knew you slept around I forgave you for it! We were never close but I dint care, I was willing to learn every micro detail about you! I wanted to give you EVERYTHING!” I scream at him. “just listen will y-” he was shouting back now but I dint care. I wanted him to know how I felt. “you pushed me away Blake! I was so torn when you said those things to me! So torn to the point my wolf left me! So depressed to the point I ran away! So I wouldn’t have to see you! So ashamed of how people will look and say ‘hey it’s the girl that was rejected by the alpha!’” I wouldn’t have been able to handle that. He was still coming towards me. “ I couldn’t handle if people found out and judge me… my life was breaking apart before my eyes… I was in so much pain from your rejection and my wolf leaving me, if you plus the judgment. I would have died… Actually even after I left I was going to kill myself … if it wasn’t for Danny I would have been dead. He was there to fix me up. He was there to clean the shit that you gave to me, he was there to love me for me!” my voice was breaking again.

Blake abruptly stopped and looked at me with guilty eye “died?” he repeated. “that’s why you left? Its all my fault. I was a terrible mate to you..." he said. i dint look him in the eyes. "please Scarlet, let me explain..." he plea. "for what?! so that you can poison my mind with all your lies?!" i hissed at him. he dint bother and started  "when I first saw you as my mate, you were the greatest thing that happen to me… but I was so blinded that I couldn’t even see it…” he said. I stopped moving backwards. “after I said that and you ran, I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life. I wanted to chase after you but my friends told me to leave you be. i thought it was a good idea in a sense where I could have some time to think of my apology. I was going to make it up to you. I was going to do everything in my power to have you forgive me for that stupid things I said at the mall. I was willing even go public and gravel on your feet just for that forgiveness…” he said. I couldn’t believe it. He was lying! He’s just say this to save his own ass so I would just happily fall in to his arms. He saw my conflicting eyes and continued.

“when I finally worked up the courage to ask for your forgiveness, you were gone… I was too late. When I heard you left, I was shattered. The air was punched out of me, its like I couldn’t breathe. I fell to the floor in pain and I realize maybe this was how you felt  when I said those stupid things. I deserved it. I deserved it all! I spent almost two years looking for you… I dint sleep, i dint eat people actually had to come and force feed me. I stopped sleeping around when the day I saw you Scarlet, I dint sleep around. I wanted to change for you. I wanted to be a better person for you… I spent those two years mainly on finding you. I dint want to stop until I had you back in my arms but the pack was falling apart. I had no choice, they were depending on me to get the pack back in order. I had stopped the search…”he whispered that last part with his head hung low.

I was still crying. I cant believe him. He’s lying. He’s making it all up! He’s nothing but a fucking lair! “your lying!” I said. he looked up to me, his eyes were glossy but I could see no lie in his eyes. I couldn’t accept this its like my brain is having a meltdown. “stop lying to me!” I screamed at him. He started walking towards me again while I kept reversing. “don’t come any closer!” I said in panic. He dint listen and just kept coming. “im the victim here! Not you!” I said in desperation. His eyes were showing the honest truth. I could fell my bond that was dormant for all these years suddenly ignite to life. “you know im not lying Scarlet” he said. I kept shacking my head in disagreement.

By that time I have already hit the wall. Blake just kept coming closer. “GET AWAY!” I screamed. He grabbed my shoulders but not hard enough to hurt me. I kept punching and pushing at his chest so he wouldn’t come closer. He dint flinch and soon enough, he engulfed me into a tight hug. I just kept struggling and punching his chest. “GET AWAY! Get Away! Get away. Get away….” I kept sobbing. He was rubbing my back to try and sooth me. My body shook and I was crying non stop. I just kept sobbing, his shirt was getting soaked with my tears. “im so sorry Scarlet… im so sorry… im so so very sorry…” Blake said.  “I loved you… and you hurt me… I loved you Blake…” I said in between sobs. “I know, I know. I was such a stupid boy.” with that he started crying too. We were both crying for our mistakes.

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