You Only Live Once

Chapter 22

Arriving back to campus without Peeta makes me feel empty. As if I somehow lost him during our trip. Just a few days ago everything seemed fine. Peeta and I had just made amends, we were on our way to Boston together, laughing inside Peeta's worn car that we both chose for him in the beggining of the last semester, after he took his license. The car was old and Peeta bought it with his savings, which wasn't all that much. I hated the car, its color reminded me of vomit and it was extremely noisy, but seeing the spot where Peeta used to always park the car made me feel empty, and I found myself missing that old piece of junk.

I walk through the hallway that lead to my door. When I enter it, I'm surprised to see Gale inside, sitting on my bed, scrolling through his phone.

"Gale?" I ask. "What are you doing here?"

Gale looks up from his phone, giving me a brief look before looking down at the tiles on the floor. "I was waiting for you to arrive. Annie said I could come in." he explains.

I nod, but don't say anything. What could I possibly say to my boyfriend in a moment like this? That I've been gone since saturday because I went with a friend, who is also the guy I'm in love with, to visit his family because apparently he is extremely ill and might never recover? That doesn't sound like the words Gale would like to hear right now. I walk up to him and sit in the bed, beside him.

"Where have you been? The last time I spoke to you, you said you'd be here on sunday. Today is Tuesday. So, where were you?"

I think about lying to Gale, tell him something that he wants to hear, that everything is fine, and I'm all his, that he doesn't need to worry. But in this moment I don't think I hae the strenght to lie to him again, like I've been doing since the day he kissed me. "I went to Boston with Peeta. To visit his aunt. Then we went to visit the rest of his family in North Carolina." I state, being as frontal as possible.

Gale looks at me. I can already tell that he is pissed, and he doesn't like much the idea of Peeta and I travelling around the country by ourselves.

"Please don't be mad." I whisper, looking down at my hands.

I hear Gale sight deeply, standing up from the bed "Don't be mad?" Gale repeats incredulously. "How am I supposed not to be mad, Katniss? Just tell me, how am I supposed to feel about this? My girlfriend is travelling around the country with some guy I know has feelings for her!"

I look right into Gale's eyes. Never before he has yelled at me, and although I know that I do deserve to be screamed at, I can't stop feeling both hurt and angry at Gale. "Not everything is about you, Gale! Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe the reason I went with Peeta to see his family has nothing to do with you!?" I point out, yelling as well.

"Then why? Why, Katniss? Why did you go all the way to North Carolina with Peeta to visit his family?" Gale asks exhasperatly. "Just give me a plausable reason why and I'll let this go!"

"Because Peeta is sick!" I blurt out. Saying the words outloud makes it ten times worst then it already felt before. Peeta's sick, and I'm miles away from him, not being able to help him. I sob escapes my lips and beforre I know it, I'm crying hard, and Gale is trying to calm me down.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I know you care a lot about him." Gale states, and I can tell by his face that he is really sorry. He puts his arm around me and I burry my face in his chest, wondering if Peeta is feeling as much pain as I am right now.

When I'm calm enough Gale and I head to meet up with the the rest of our friends tp have dinner at a dinner near campus.

I don't look up from my plate since the begining of the dinner, when I announced anyone that Peeta was sick again. I wish I hdn't said it, I wish it didn't have to be me to tell everyone the bad news, or maybe that I had lied instead of telling them the horrible truth. I could have said that Peeta just decided he wanted to be with his family for a while longer, because he was happy there, and not incredibly scared because of his health. But that would've been a weak move and I think I've already done enough weak moves for the rest of my life.

Annie was just as heartbroken as I was. In the end, she had known Peeta for ages, they had most likely taken bubble baths together when they were 3 years old, and when you know Peeta for so long it's impossible not to care about him. Finnick was just as upset as Annie and I but, unlike us, he was also mad. I guess I understand that because I also had to force Peeta to tell me the truth, and I didn't like the way he was keeping me from knowing it, even if he was just trying to protect me or not upsetting me.

"Katniss, do you want dessert?" Gale asks me gently, resting his hand carefully on my knee.

"No thanks." I mumble, still not looking him in the eyes. The guilt of lying to Gale still hasn't dissipated. It feels wrong letting him take such good care of me, being so gentle with me when I don't have the same feelings Gale has for me. But the idea of being comforted is too pleasent for me to just throw his support away.

"You know, this is ridiculous."

I advert my eyes to the person who spoke, Marvel. Everyone looks at him questioningly, too much burried in sorrow to say anything.

"I'm sure that the last thing Peeta wants right now is for us to react like this." Marvel states "If it was one of us in his place, he would be making up some crazy plan of a way to make things better, not mopping around like the rest of us. He'd be taking action!"

Amazingly, Marvel is right. Peeta wouldn't be like this, and he'd never want us to feel sorry for him, he hates pity. He'd want us to keep moving, to take action, to have hopes about this situation, for worst it is. I recall the conversationPeeta and I had when we were on our way to Boston. Could his words possibly mean what Marvel is telling us right now? "The world keeps spinning." I mumble, quoting Peeta's words on that day. Suddenley it all became clear. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who understood that.

"We can't just stand here waiting for some miracle." Finnick says out loud, still deep in thought. He looks at me. "When did you say he was going to have that surgery?" he asks.

I clear my throat, pulling myself back together "Sometime tomorrow." I tell him.

"My mini van has eight seats." Cato states. "We are eight."

"And North Carolina is just nine hours away." Annie adds.

"And this sounds like an adventure worthy of Peeta Mellark's time." Finnick announces, a smirk forming in his face.

AN:

Hey, guys!

Another update! This one's shorter but I'll try to make the next one bigger to compensate for this one. This story is reaching its end a few more chapters to go!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to give me feedback!

Bye guys!