Dear Diary || Kim Jongdae

|Page 46|

3/25/16

Dear diary,

I can't believe we made it halfway through the semester already. I want to say that things have been going okay for me, but the idea of summer getting closer and me actually trying to do more for my future keeps swimming in my mind.

Me going to classes, taking quizzes and exams, and being with everyone has been great and all, but I know in the back of my mind that we're all going to separate to pursue what we want in life.

Since I want to go to med school right after college, I really need to do more to benefit me for later. If I'm going to become a psychiatrist, then I need to do more than just get good grades.

And I know, that things can go one way or another.

While Jongin was able to land a part in a music video of a fresh faced idol from the same company, Jongdae told me recently that the company that he was a part of was not going out well for him. There were apparently a lot of complications and differing ideas between him, Baek, and Chan, and to the company. Their band wants to go one way, while the company wants to go the complete opposite direction. And from the way I've heard it, the company was giving more attention to Baek than to the other two, who were just as important.

I'll admit, Baek was a pretty boy with quite the vocals, but what about Chanyeol, who's a master at nearly every instrument I could think of and compose songs like it's nothing? What about my boyfriend, who has the best vocals I have ever heard, with high notes that could pierce through anyone's soul and write gorgeous lyrics from the top of his head?

But, I guess that's what happens. The company predicts who the more popular member will be and hope to branch off more for them and only them.

It honestly makes me so enraged. These three have worked so hard to be where they are now, and now that they gotten the chance, they might have to be stuck with terms that goes against their very being?

I never want to see Jongdae to go through anything like that. I don't want to see anyone go through that.

I never want to see Jongdae nearly break down in front of me ever again, because I swear that I will do something about the cause of my boyfriend's frowning face.

It's so crazy.

But, it's a gut feeling to do whatever you think it's best.

And just now, Kyungsoo called me, telling me about this top-notch medical school not too far from where he lives, that sounds like absolute perfection for me. I can go there and get an internship that will guarantee me the job I want and could possibly make me reach my full potential in this field. However, there were a lot of cons to it too.

This is definitely something I need to think more about, but maybe for now, I'll continue to be support to my boyfriend, who definitely needs it right now.

A/n: this is me lowkey raging about that dumb show being god damn rude to Jongdae and Junmyeon. Okie bye.