[zoom in on lip sync battle sign, babs and Iliana throwing up a gang sign]
Babs: is this thing on
Iliana: let's fuck it up bitch
Babs: i wonder who we're up against
Iliana: well slap my ass and call me Sally it better be somebody cute
Crowd: [cheers, applauds, a couple of boos]
Babs: I'm with the booers
Iliana: u biatch
[LL COOL J POPS OUTTA NO WHERE]
LL: ALRIGHT GUYS R U READY TO RUMBLE THE FUCK OUTTA THIS????
Iliana: bitch I was born ready
Chrissy Teigan: John...John... [on the phone] listen John, u need to write a song about this
Babs: fucking right
Babs: [looks around] who r we up against
[enter Chris and sebastian on spiderman]
Babs: [hitting Iliana in the shoulder] UNDEROOS!!!!!!!!!!
Iliana: [punches babs, throws up, smack own face]
[beautiful jennifer Anniston shows up] I AINT CLEANING THAT UP [vanishes in thin air]
LL COOL J: [snacking on taco] r u guys ready?
Babs: where the FUCK did u get a taco
LL: sebastian gave it to me
[iliana continuously throws up, Chris steps forward, throws up some more, Chris steps back with an Oscar]
LL: I think team UNDEROOS should go first
[iliana and babs boop bump] we got this
Chris: MACKIE SAID THAT
babs: ILIANA HE SPEAKS
ILIANA: LUMBERJACK RIP UR SHIRT OFF
CHRIS: [looks confused, rips shirt off, shrugs, looks buff, sebastian is impressed and jealous]
Sebastian: [whispers] forgive me padre for I have sinned
Babs: I'm gonna [long beep, censoring] that man over there [points at sebastian]
Sebastian: [LOOKS IMPRESSED, SHOUTS IN ROMANIAN, CLEARLY PLEASED] [GIVES THUMBS UP]
Iliana: [THROWS UP, STARTS CRYING] AM I DYING?
Babs: [SMACKS ILIANA IN THE FACE] CONTROL YOURSELF
ILIANA: [sings softly] I've got no control [chokes on sob]
Babs: WE NEED TO WIN, WE HAVENT EVEN STARTED
Chrissy Teigan: wtf guys we've been here [checks clock] TWO HOURS and I already gave BIRTH
BABS: Oops? [looks into camera like we're on the office] let's get started
Iliana: [gently stands, almost trips, looks at chris, smizes] fuck YES
Babs and Iliana: [sings waterfalls by TLC, in unison, flawlessly, like beyonce song, truly award winning, Nobel peace price is nominated in minutes]
Chris and sebastian: [lean in close, glaring, upset, whispers under breath] are we banging these girls later?
Chris: [boston accent] fuckin A we are
LL: that was truly iconic girls, nothing can top it
Chrissy: John are you listening? Are you there John? It's me Margaret
LL: can Chris and Sebastian top that?
Babs: [shouts, in the distance] THEY CAN TOP ME
Iliana: [finger guns over to bar stool]
LL: WHERE IS BABS ANYWAY
Babs: [flies in with pterodactyl, Iliana whoops in delight, sebastian looks in horror]
LL: I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW
[CHRIS AND SEB TAKE THE STAGE, START MAKING EXES WITH THEIR HANDS AS X GON GIVE IT TO YA BY DMX STARTS PLAYIN]
[deadpool shoves in, KICKS THEM BOTH OFF STAGE, WINKS AT BABS AND ILIANA THROUGH THE MASK]
Wade Wilson: I gotchu girls I'll turn these guys into kebabs cuz I'm no superhero
Babs and Iliana: [stares, v turned on] pls don't
Wade: u sure [whips out katanas]
Babs and Iliana: we sure [whips, does nae nae with wade before he flies out with the pterodactyl screaming 'WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS']
LL: [at a loss of words] ok next we'll find out the winner while Chrissy delivers another baby somehow STAY TUNED
[30 seconds later]
ALRIGHT U STAYED TUNED LONG ENOUGH THIS BITCH LIT AS FUCK
CHris: [drunk, shouting] ILIANA IS BAE
SEBASTIAN: WHAT IS BAE
BABS: U, [stArts crying] U IS BAE [falls to knees, sobbing, clutching heart]
LL: [ignores drama] IF U THINK BABS AND ILIANA SHOULD WIN SCREAM FOR THEM
[crowd boos]
BABS : [gets up, hears Chris and SEB cheering, flips off crowd] FUCK ALL YALL [grabs Iliana Chris and seb] WE OUT THIS BITCH FINNA GET NAKED WITHOUT YALL BITCHES
Chrissy: JOHN ARE U WRITING ABOUT THIS? IM IN LABOUR!
LL: WELL THAT WAS DRAMATIC BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER KIDS KNOCK EM OUT THE BOX KNOCK EM OUT
THE END, OR IS IT?????
JE LEEST
The Adventurous Adventures Of Babs And Iliana
Humortroll stories that were initially sent as text jokes. Characters, people mentioned, do not belong to me!!! Just for fun!!!
