The Defeated Winner (The Atty's)

The Defeated Winner

My clock is ticking, my time is passing,

Passing by me…

My time is leaving, going away,

But I’m destined to stay.

I’ll stay behind, in what soon will be past,

I’m not going anywhere.

If there is the other side, that’s where I’ll go,

It’s the only trip my future has planned.

I’ve fought a lot, I’ve cried a lot,

And I have lost all battles that I had.

I’ve fought for me, and then for them,

But I have lost, though I haven’t planned that way.

I’m lying here for a long time,

I’m watching the faces of those who care for me.

I’m ending my story anytime,

But some things are left to be said.

I’ve made my peace, this is my time,

But there are so many things that I regret.

My daughter’s wedding, my son’s children,

I will not live to see that…

I won’t be there to fix her veil,

To tell her everything will be alright.

No one will ever call me ‘grandma’,

Those words won’t make me smile.

When I see tears in my children’s eyes,

It hurts more day by day.

When I see sorrow on their faces,

It kills me before the death itself.

This life will kill me and I can’t stop it,

But I’ll do anything to ease their pain.

So I cry here alone at night,

Sobbing in my hospital bed.

So I cry here, it’s over, I can’t fight,

I’m regretting the life I’ll not have.

I’ve made my peace, but it’s not all right,

I want to live but life’s not letting me.

I cry again, but it’s a different night,

Something is missing in me…

I cry again, but what’s that light?

Why is it coming to me…?

My children’s faces, my memories, our life,

Those are the last I see.

I am defeated but I have won a fight,

For those who live will always remember me.