...In my dream, I took him away from his world.
He was just a child back then. I didn't know why no one was approaching him. I kept on wondering if it is because he was not my blood brother. At first, I didn't care because we never had any contact at all. He wasn't even allowed to go outside of his courtyard. All the things he need including food where brought to his place. He was like a bird inside a cage not knowing when he will be able to fly.
On a certain day, I passed by his place and I saw that the door was open. Being a child, curiosity overtook me. I took a peek inside. That was the first time I saw him. And, it was also the first time I saw that someone can have that kind of look on his face.
It is the look of a person who wanted to cry but can't even shed a tear.
When I fully opened the door, he was startled. Eventually, he greeted me with a smile. But it was a smile so painful and bitter that I couldn't help but be stunned. From that moment on, I knew that being alone could really be painful. Thinking back, he was still a child that moment and a child giving that kind of look is certainly heartbreaking for anyone.
I decided to visit him secretly every morning. We easily became close. It was so close that sometimes it scares me because one day, he may also simply disappear. But I kept on brushing that thought away. I believed that long as I can take away his pain, there will come a day that he will wholeheartedly smile at me. That was the 'me' of back then.
Until one fateful rainy night, I decided to visit him and saw something I shouldn't have. The reason why my father was gently caressing him... I didn't want to know. I didn't want to accept the fact that something was not
right. I was a child back then and my mind cannot take such things without any warning and further explanations. And right then, our eyes met. He had this painful look while I had a disgusted one. After that, I ran away only to never return.
Because of that incident, I have never once returned to our house. I do not want to accept anything from that night. Or should I say... I do not want to accept anything from the very first moment I saw him?
But, today was different. I finally returned. This day, my father rests in peace because of an illness. The child back then was once again, left alone in his courtyard. A lot of things have changed and he was not a child anymore. But, what remained unchanged was the very same look he had when I first saw him. That face that I thought I had already forgotten.
That is why I held him tight.
Finally.
After all these years, it wasn't gone. It didn't fade. It was never forgotten.
The reason why I didn't want to accept what happened back then was because I wanted to run away from my selfishness and greediness. I wanted to run away and escape from my feelings for him because... He was already owned by someone.
But now, if he is still willing, I would gladly take him away from all of these. Just like in my never ending dreams where I took him away from this world. Right now, I wanted to show him the world he never knew and to finally and properly convey my feelings. Right now, if he wanted to, we'll both escape from this cage. I would take his hand and tightly hold it until everything is over. –end
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