About a Girl

Chapter 6: Changes

It was the last day before school let out, and I was glad to see that Kurt was there, and he seemed less depressed. At lunch, he handed me a drawing he did. It was pretty detailed, a field of flowers with the silhouette of a humanlike figure in the middle. The words "Stef, come as you are" were written accross the top in red pen.

"I told you I like art. Merry Christmas, I guess. Happy Holidays. Whatever," he said.

"Come as you are... what's that mean?" asked Chris, looking over my shoulder.

"Well, I wanted to remind Stefanie to be herself," Kurt replied. "She's a pretty awesome girl."

I blushed. Did I really mean that much to him? If so, I had to be myself, and show the world who I was.

I was so excited for Christmas that I didn't even pay attention to Kevin or anyone else the rest of the day. Maybe I was just feeling happy from Kurt. He made me smile, I couldn't deny it. It was a nice kind of high, though I'd never done drugs or any of that crap, of course.

Up until last period, everything was going fine. That's when my boyfriend confronted me.

"Stefanie, we need to talk," he said with a cold whisper.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked, looking up from my chemistry homework.

His hands moved in a circular motion as he struggled to speak. "I don't understand what's going on with you and that Cobain dude. You spend too much time with him."

"Kevin, he's my friend," I tried to explain, but he'd obviously have none of it.

"You haven't even known him for that long. I don't see why you like him. He's just a typical basket case. A loser."

I'd had enough. "Don't say that about him. You don't know what it's like to be him. He goes through a lot. He gets called ugly, dumb, and gay almost daily. And he isn't any of those," I remarked. "He's a really cool guy."

The study hall monitor shushed me, and I crossed my arms and lowered my eyebrows. I didn't want to be told what to do.

"You don't like him, do ya? He's not good enough for you, babe." The way he said babe was kinda sharp, like a needle.

"I don't want Kurt... I just want you."

"Well, it sure doesn't sound that way. He's not like us. He's different," Kevin said. "You spend more time with him than you do with me!"

"I'm sorry, dear. But he needs me." It was true, in my mind. I couldn't let him fall apart. Come as you are, I thought... "If you don't like him, you're gonna have to deal."

His fist hit the table. "This isn't working out. Stefanie, we should take a break."

"What? Why?"

"We need space. I'm not breaking up with you, but we need time apart to let this blow over," he stated.

I didn't cry that day, but throughout Christmas break, my mood was at a steady low. Was it my fault that Kevin was upset with me? None of this would have happened if I'd never met Kurt. But at the same time, I was glad that I had a new friend, because he helped me find myself in places I hadn't looked before. But how could I help him when I couldn't even help myself?