Intangible

[5] Caffè Americano

       Sometimes it feels like he's gained back a missing arm or leg, some kind of phantom limb, a ligament he knew might have once existed but could barely remember a day when it actually did. It's times like these when he realizes just how much Sebastian has wormed his way into his life, ripped out handfuls of the bitterness and sadness that had settled itself so deeply into Eli's body and soul over the years, and took up the remaining space left behind.

       "What are you doing for Spring Break?" Sebastian asks on the fourteenth of March. "We should meet."

       "We've already met, or was it so terrible that you actually had to block out all of December and January just to pretend like they never happened?"

       Sebastian laughs. "Shut up asshole. I meant like, we should meet up and do something. Together."

       "Like a date?"

       "Sure, if you're the type of guy that puts labels on everything then yeah, a date. I'm totally asking you out on a date right now and you're not allowed to say, eh, maybe next time in your bored voice. Well I mean unless you really can't—because then it's totally fine, no big deal, I'll just—"

       "Sebastian, I'm kidding."

       "Oh thank God," Sebastian says, and it's a breathy sort of relief that feels calming to Eli even through the phone line. "Because honestly, I'm kind of just making my way through life with self-deprecating confidence and false bravado and although it's sort of rare that the veneer cracks, if you just flat out turned me down I'm not sure how fast my recovery time would be."

       "Five, ten minutes tops," Eli says.

       Sebastian laughs, loud and blissful in Eli's ear, "It's nice how much faith you seem to have in me these days, I feel like we're finally making progress in my project of turning you into a normal human being, with feelings and everything. By this time next month, we'll have you speaking in full paragraphs instead of short fragmented sentences. I'm telling you, today phone conversations, tomorrow the world!"

       "Maybe if you spoke less then there would be more time for me to make more elaborate statements. But as it is, if we waited for you to ever be finished with anything at all, we'd both be ancient by the time my turn came around."

       "Point made, you win this round, buddy."

       Eli smiles softly to himself, Chase is out with Heather and isn't due home for at least another hour so he's safe to contently sit on the couch and contemplate how things have worked out for him so smoothly lately.  

       While Eli realizes that he probably should not be this marveled with Sebastian, especially not when he's making disparaging comments directed at him, he can't help it. He has always felt more comfortable with having someone who he knows he can be himself with than with someone he feels like he needs to impress with kindness and other social niceties. 

       He knows that Sebastian is good at determining when to be goofy and when to be serious; he's proven that already. Eli likes to think they make a good blended mix of lighthearted and earnest. If someone can take what little he has to lay on the table and pick it up while still considering it a good hand, well then, he's fortunate.

       "So, when does your Spring Break begin?" he asks, trying to bring the topic of break back to the forefront of the conversation. He's never been one to do things for Spring Break, usually just returns home to Los Angeles to help out at the coffeehouse, but spending some of it with Sebastian sounds inviting.

       "It's the...." Sebastian drawls, and Eli can hear the shuffle of things in the background before Sebastian's voice is on the line once more, "twenty-fourth through the twenty-eighth, but the twenty-eighth is a weekend so I'm not due back till the thirty-first. When's yours?"