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Ch.17-Drive Me Crazy

I emerged from my room at around eleven. Alec left to go somewhere, and that piqued my attention. It shouldn't have, since he was always leaving, but it did. I heard the sounds of a car, too, which meant he took mine. And somehow, I wasn't too bothered by that, either.

There was enough on my plate to handle as it was. Most of the alcohol had worn off, and while I knew I would be dead in the morning, I was taking advantage of what was left of tonight to make amends with my grandfather. Call it impulsive, whatever. It was something I suddenly just needed to do.

I stopped by the kitchen and popped a couple Tylenol. I heard him bustling around in the study. I swallowed hard, holding onto my courage as I grabbed the handle of the door and opened it. He had been inside with his head in his hands. At my abrupt entrance he whipped around in his chair. And seeing his face, everything within me broke.

"I'm so sorry," I blurted out, crossing the distance between us and flinging my arms around his neck. "I'm so, so, so sorry," I continued apologizing. "I didn't mean it. None of it. I'm sorry. Don't hate me."

He lifted me onto his lap, rocking me slightly back and forth. "I don't hate you," he whispered into my hair. "I could never hate you, Lily."

I sniffed, clutching him tighter. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said. "I should have told you. It was something I never should have kept secret."

I pulled back. "I guess we're both at fault, here."

He chuckled. "Boy am I glad to be on talking terms with you," he murmured, brushing my hair back away from my face. "I love you, Lily. Never forget that."

"I love you too, Grandpa," I replied. "So . . . How bad is it?"

"The leukemia?"

I winced, nodded. He blew out a long breath.

"Not bad yet," he stated, "but enough that they know it'll deteriorate rapidly later."

I swallowed hard. "Do they know how much time you have left?"

"I still have a few good years left in me," he boasted, smiling warmly. "Don't go marking me off, yet."

I laid my head against his shoulder. "I'm homeless, Grandpa."

"Excuse me?"

"I met up with my mother, at one of Jasmine's fashion shows. She doesn't want me anymore. She told me."

"Lily . . ."

"I saw it coming, I guess," I mumbled.

"Sweetie, you are perfect the way you are. Don't go doubting yourself."

Too late. "Thanks."

"What did my daughter-in-law say this time?"

"Nothing I haven't heard before. Just that she doesn't want me, I ruin everything, and that I should never have been born." Even just saying the words sent a spike through my heart.

"Oh, Lily. You don't believe it, do you?"

"Of course not." Lies.

"Good. Because it's not true. You have a purpose, just like everybody else."

"Thanks, Grandpa." I slid from his lap, stifling a yawn. "Do you know where Alec went?"

He frowned. "Alec went somewhere?"

I laughed. "I'll take that as a no, then."

"Where on earth does he have to go so late?"

I shrugged. "Not sure. Thought maybe you would know." I started moving toward the door, but my grandfather called me back. "Yeah?" I answered.