Growing Flower ~ The Teenaged Girl's Guide to Becoming a Woman of God ~ Purity

Relationships: Is Mine Sinful or Godly?

What is a sinful relationship?

Whether you are in a relationship right now or not, the answer to this question is very vital for you to know if you plan on living a life of purity. You could be in one now. You may be in one in the future. You may be saying, Umm, sorry Lil, but I think I would know if I was in a sinful relationship right now. But ooooh, you'd be surprised.

Let's look at two different relationships, shall we?

Kalie and Jacob:

If you asked Kalie how far she and her boyfriend Jacob have gotten, she would have replied, "We've been to the movies, and the mall, and the family dinner table, and sometimes we go on a picnic in the park." A lot of people are very surprised when they find out Kalie and Jacob havn't 'done much' even though they've been together for almost two years now with no breaks. Sometimes, Kalie's friends will come up to her and express that it they feel he sometimes spend more time with his friends and family then her, she just pushes it aside and says, "Don't worry I know where I stand." In fact, Jacob's friends are surprised he doesn't talk about her much. Kalie's a beautiful and good-looking girl, although she never wears suggestive clothing. But Jacob never talks about what they did together last Friday or how lucky he feels to have her. It's surprising that they are even together in the first place, neither of them showed interested in a relationship before. Sometimes, Jacob calls Kalie as she's preparing for a night with him and he has to cancel, but she's never really angry about it nor does she ever bring it up again. Once, Jacob was getting a lot of calls from a certain girl. But Kalie never asked about it or asked who she was, even when her friends pestered her to look through his phone. One time, Kalie came into school with a bruise on her arm and she said a girl has been following her to and from school; Jacob has been walking her home and to school every day sense, but has not layed a hand on Kalie's hater unless necessary. They are always gentle and sweet with each other and are never rude, even on their bad days. Although they get into fights from time to time, they eventually take a step back, breathe, and slowly and calmly work it out together. They always push forward and keep their relationship going strong, even through the bumps. Kalie says, "Jacob is not perfect, and I am far from it. But I always wake up every day and choose to treat him right, even when I don't feel like it."

Sam and Jammie:

Jammie says she's never been happier. She talks about her relationship with Sam all the time. "I am deeply and madly in love," she'll say. "He makes me feel beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, and adored." Even though they've only been together for 3 months, they spend a lot of time together and have gone farther then ever before. "Great things happen fast," Jammie says. "And don't worry, we havn't had sex." Jammie really believes that someday, even though they are young, they will be married one day. But truth is, her friends don't see it. Sometimes, Sam is rude to her, even in a playful way. He also grows impatient with her, especially when he wants to be alone and she won't go. Sam also gets mad when she hangs out with friends and family instead of him; however Jammie is the same way when Sam cancels on her. One day, Sam and Jammie were alone in her bedroom. With out getting into too much detail, Jammie pulled away, and Sam began to list all the other times she ditched him or made a mistake, making her give in. Later she spoke, "this is wrong!" but he replied, "I don't care." The couple seems to fight every week, and have taken several breaks, usually over something silly. But nonetheless, Jammie is so madly in love and Sam is so proud of his catch. A lot of people say they are the cutest and closest couple on campus. Sometimes, a friend will ask Jammie, "So, have you told your parents yet?" She rolls her eyes every time and states, "Puh-lease. They don't even approve of what I am wearing."

Did you figure out which is the sinful relationship? If you guess Sam and Jammie's, then you are right! But now you might be saying that it was easy to see it. However, remember this is an outside view. Like a lot of girls, I pushed it all to the side of my brain, or thought I was an exception, which is why Jammie is still in the relationship. I hope that, if you are one of those girls, God will really speak to you what you need to hear right now as you read this.

Remember this verse:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy or boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1st Corinthians 13:4-8a)

Now, if you look carefully, you will see that Kalie and Jacob have every thing listed above ,and Jammie and Sam do not. Does your relationship consist of these things? If not, then it is not healthy or what God wants, nor is it love. So if you are in a relationship that has the opposite of these things, like Jammie and Sam, then should you be in it?

If you are unsure if your relationship is for these or not, ask good, honest Christian friends what they see. Ask trusted adults and your parents (and if they don't approve-listen!) what they think. And most of all- ask God. Pray for His guidence and for Him to tell you what to do with the relationship.

What do you do if you are caught in a sinful relationship? Well, I am going to give you some time to think about if you are in a sinful relationship or not, give you time to pray. And if you already know, message me. I'd love to be here for you :)



God bless!



Love you all!

~Lillian

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