Standing On My Own Two Feet

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       The stuffy little sunlit room is quiet except for the sound of Sebastian's obnoxious chip-chewing.
       "God, even your eating is loud," I grumble into my sandwich- wheat bread, three slices of deli ham, and a swirl of mayonnaise. I eat the same thing everyday. I eat at the same place everyday. This place was always my little getaway, my hidden gem, until Sebastain discovered it too and insisted on eating there too on his lunch breaks. It's like the only place in this whole building that doesn't have a weapon in it. Plus it's nice and sunny, he has said. I couldn't disagree with him there, I couldn't help but feel a bit obligated after he had helped me out with a few of my missions. I never like owing anybody anything. So I allowed him to eat with me under one condition: he couldn't be annoying. He's broken that rule so many times.
       Sebastian doesn't reply, just chews with his mouth open. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. He has a mad look on his face. Ah. So this is still about the thing with Reggie.
      "If it makes you feel any better, Reggie got into an argument with me before we were filming and told me I was soft-hearted and stupid. He said he was giving me 'one last chance,'" I use finger quotes around the words and smirk.
       "Oh, really? I thought the stars aligned for you, Maya Waterman. I can't believe someone got mad at everybody's most treasured super-villain," he says the last words with a bit of a snarl to his tone.
       "I told you not to use my real name," I growl instead. I can't deal with his jealousy right now, it's too pathetic.
       "Ok, goddess of chaos," he leers. "As if. What have you done? Tossed a few trains around? Demolished a bridge once? Briefly assisted a drug cartel? Got in a few punches of Crimson, the dumbest superhero of all times? Big achievements there. You're totally the goddess of chaos. You make us all so proud," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
       "If you think it's so easy to be a supervillain, why don't you try being one for once? What have you done? Accessed a few files? Sent some encrypted messages? You're a glorified hacker, Sebastian. And that's all you'll ever be. Some tech to be overlooked," I fire back, and then immediately regret getting so defensive and engaging in such a petty argument. And here I pride myself on being a sociopath. Who do I think I am?
       "Nice, Eris. Very mature of you, taking the high road like that." Again with the sarcasm. He rolls up his bag of chips and places it in the dorky soft-sided cooler of his with that lame shoulder strap covered with pins that say things like, 'Rock on!' I watch him as he opens the door of the empty office room and steps out, not looking back. Once he's out of earshot, I slump back. I'm alone at last, but it doesn't feel as gratifying as it should.
       "Some villain I am," I mutter under my breath. I get up too. "Dang it, Sebastian. Now you have me going out on some stupid little endeavor to prove to myself that I'm worthy or whatever." I moodily toss my half-empty sandwich baggy in the stupid little trash can Sebastian's set up by the door and then I leave without further ado. "Let's go kick some superhero butt."
:
       I set out looking for Crimson or Thunderpunch or Griffon or whatever dumb idiot is guarding the city today, but much to my surprise the hero finds me.
       "Oh, just who I was looking for! I thought I recognized your adorable little swimsuit." I grin at Crimson, who floats above me with an unrecognizable look on her face. Normally she wears this little red mardi-gras mask, too, but now that's she revealed her identity publicly it's kind of pointless. I can see why she would do without. Masks can be annoying. Why bother unless you're actually using it for something?
        Crimson doesn't answer, which is weird because usually she starts monologuing right away. She just floats there.
       "It's nice to see you and all, but I suppose I have some innocents to kill and whatnot, so yeah. See ya la-" I can't finish my sentence because I can't breathe. Quite literally. Crimson decided to end her creepy levitating and now she has her hands around my throat, her amber eyes flashing with pure hatred. I've never seen a look so dark on the hero's face before.
       "You can tell your Dark Lord cronies to go to hell," Crimson hisses, and her hands start to get uncomfortably hot as they're wrapped around my throat. In addition to having super-speed, flight, and super-strength, she can also raise and drop her skin's temperature at will. Kinda freaky.
       "Sorry to be a buzzkill and all," I manage to croak out, "but things are just getting too heated in here for me," and with that lame pun I punch her pretty little face and send her flying into the brick wall of the abandoned pizza parlor before me. The flickering neon pizza sign casts colored blotches of light on Crimson's crumpled form. She gets up slowly, more out of dramatic effect than actual pain. Superheroes, am I right?
        Her skin is so heated that her hands are glowing white, and she marches toward me with an ominous, purposeful stride.
       "Oh, is someone on their period? Because I can totally relate, but honestly, I'm never this moody." My snarky commentary is interrupted when Crimson hurls a boulder at my head. I dodge in the nick of time, and it's so close that I can feel it brush my ear before it lands behind me with a loud thunk. Apparently superheroes can randomly conjure up piles of heavy crap beside them to throw at their opponents. Or she's so lucky that there just happens to be a fricking boulder pit right beside her on her March To Vengeance. I'm starting to think that choosing an abandoned part of town to conduct my search for a superhero to battle wasn't exactly the best choice.
       "Just take some ibuprofen or something," another boulder, brushing the top of my hair, "Jesus." I make up an illusion of another version of myself like I'm fricking Loki or something while she's still in the process of grabbing another boulder. Then I cloak my real self and creep up to Crimson undetected while she's still focused on chucking large rocks at me. I get right up to her side and she still hasn't noticed me, so I grab her by the throat and throw her to the ground, kneeling on her back while she's down. Illusion-me dissipates and Crimson thrashes underneath me, cursing.
       "You're disgusting. How can you do something like that?" Crimson is almost crying now. I definitely blame it on period cramps.
       "Give you the cold hard truth about the magic that is ibuprofen?" I smirk. "I was just trying to help a sister out."
       "You know what I'm talking about!" She actually screams in fury and without warning her back gets so blistering hot that I have no other choice but to hop aside. She gets up, her exposed skin (which is a lot, if I haven't mentioned) glowing white-hot. Even her eyes are a particular shade of red. She's used this little parlor trick with me before, but never with as much intensity. As strange as it sounds, I don't think she's ever aimed to kill me. I always thought that maybe she never had it in her. But now I see that I was wrong. She doesn't want to stop me from toppling a building. She wants revenge. But for what? (Oh, that list has to be so long.)
        "Was it that hostage situation in that donut shop? Because I swear, that was totally an accident-"
        "Enough with the stupid commentary!" Her shrieking is so high-pitched that I'm surprised what's remaining of the window on the pizza parlor don't shatter. "I've had enough of you and your tricks. No more games, Eris. I'm going to wipe that little smirk off your face."
        Woah. This just got real.
       "Ouch. I thought you liked my commentary," I put my hand to my heart and act hurt. That earns me a white-hot slap to the face. I can literally feel my skin blistering where she touched me. I yelp- I can't help it. "Fine. You want to fight? Let's fight."
She replies by grabbing my leg and flipping me onto my back effortlessly, knocking the wind out of me.
        "Some super-villain you are." She digs her red leather boot right into my ribs as she stares me down.
        "Is today Hate-On-Eris-Fest? Did I miss the flyers? Ow!" She's picked me up by the same leg and throws me like I'm a fricking frisbee. I get a face full of gravel as I land and I sputter, wiping the tiny stinging rocks from my eyes. Crimson speeds over before I can even move and she grabs my arm, dragging me to my feet and proceeding to twist said arm behind my back in the most unnatural position possible. I think I hear a bone snap, but I can't hear it over my curses of pain.
       "I've always went easy on you," Crimson whispers in my ear, "but that was before." She smashes me up against the brick wall and just holds me their while I struggle.
       "Before what?" I sputter. "No particular incident comes to mind that would warrant a superhero going psycho-murder-revenge on me! I'm just your average super-villain. I don't ever try to kill people. I don't collect my victim's fingernails and make a mosaic of them! That's my friend, Donovan. I've dragged this city to hell and back, but I've never tried to purposefully kill anyone in it." I hate that I've found myself pleading, but I've honestly never been more afraid for my life before. If I'd known all along that Crimson was this strong, I wouldn't have spent so much time making fun of her bathing suit... err... costume.
       "You're telling me you have absolutely no idea why I'm going to kill you?" She says this so casually, so firmly, like my life's end is a definite.
       "Not really. But you still are, so. I'm kind of obliged to fight back." I twist backwards against her grasp and manage to catch her by surprise, grabbing her head in my hands and throwing her sideways. Ooof. She's heavier than she looks. She crashes to the ground but of course she gets back up again, like she's a possessed wind-up toy. Maybe I should just run away. God, that sounds horrible. But... I really don't want to die today.
        "It's funny that this city's most notorious super-villain is actually just a weak little girl, hiding behind her name and her larger-than-life illusions. Nobody would be afraid of you if they knew the truth." A chill runs down my spine when I hear those last words. They sound eerily familiar to the words I said in the ransom video recording. I wonder if Reggie's sent the video to Dominic's mom yet. He probably had to have Sebastian help with making it untraceable and all. Sebastian... It's because of his stupid little rant at me that I'm out here in the first place. About to get my butt kicked. Wham!
       Right on cue! And right in the stomach.
      "Like the public knows all of your secrets," I wheeze, struggling to get back onto my knees. "We all have things we hide."
      "When did you get so philosophical?" Crimson actually sounds amused. She's standing there just watching me, her gloved hands on her hips.
       "Right when you started releasing your inner demon," I retort as I wipe the blood dripping from my mouth with the back of my hand. Crimson just smirks. "Hey, you can't smirk. That's my signature move!"
        "Well, you seem to enjoy stealing things that aren't yours to take, so I thought I'd return the favor." Oh, burn!
        "Ok, that settles it. This party is a bust." I stagger back into my feet, hating how weak I feel.
        "If this is how the mighty Eris gives her all, I have to say I'm pretty disappointed." Crimson smirks. "Even when you first started your little super-villain spiel, you were stronger than you are now."
        "That's because you haven't seen the grand finale." With a last-ditch attempt to redeem myself, I muster up all of my remaining pride and conjure up what must be my largest illusion yet. I paint a whole other world around us, filled with the most horrible things that come to my mind. And I'm a pretty creative person.
        The sky is smoky and rains down ashes like snow. The thick stench of rotting flesh fills the air. Screams of fear and pain echo through the warped city. All of the buildings around us are burning, blackened and twisted into something unrecognizable as the hot, bright flames devour them slowly. A mother sobs quietly over the body of her still son, her brown hair damp and sticking to the side of her face. A dying old lady, face saggy and ghoulish, limps up to Crimson and outstretches her hand as if asking for mercy. Crimson's eyes widen and she reaches toward the old woman, but then the elderly woman gasps and blood bubbles up through her lips as she is stabbed mercilessly in the back by a black-masked thief who grabs the dead woman's purse and runs off into the darkness. The old lady's blood is splattered all over Crimson's costume, making her a gruesome mural of red, and she stares at me with a terrified sort of mystification.
       "I've never been stronger." I step closer to her, and she takes a step back, but her foot bumps into the old lady's body. The superhero's face grows pale and she looks like she's about to be sick.
       "Get us out of here," Crimson growls, struggling to maintain her tough facade. She stares at me only, but just because she can't see the city she loves dying around her doesn't mean she still can't hear the cries and smell the permeating stench of death and fear. This is everything she fights to stop.
       "I don't know. It's rather pleasant, I think." I gaze around me, satisfied with my creation.
       "You're disgusting," Crimson replies. She closes her eyes briefly, looking both pained and embarrassed, because she knows it's an illusion but that doesn't stop it from getting to her.
        "Well, you aren't wrong." The body of the little boy the mother has been crying over twitches. The mother cries out with joy and clutches her son close. The little boy's eyes flash open, but they're devoid of emotion and an opaque milky white. The mother steps back in confusion at first, then shrieks in terror as thick black tongues erupt from the little boy's mouth and wrap around the mother's waist and drag her in closer. (Yes, I watch too many horror movies. So sue me.)
        When I don't stop, Crimson hurtles herself toward me. Before she can lay a finger on me, however, the little boy releases his hold on his mother and the tentacled tongues shoot out to wrap around Crimson's torso instead.
        "How are you doing this?" The superhero asks disbelievingly, struggling in the grasp of the demonic boy.
        "I've had a lot of practice." The tongues wrap up around the super's ribs and slowly crush the breath from her body. She shrieks in pain.
        "It'snotrealit'snotrealit'snotreal," I hear chanting under her breath. The tongues give a bone-cracking squeeze and the super tumbles limp to the ground.
        "Well, that was surprisingly effective." I smile and the illusion shatters with no more than a simple thought. We're back in the abandoned street, with that stupid neon pizza sign casting ghoulish colors down on us. Crimson's unconscious but also unharmed. The pain, like the broken city, was an illusion. My greatest illusion yet. She just let it get to her head. I watch her for a moment. She's so vulnerable right now. I could fulfill the Villain's Dream and kill the superhero and it'd be so easy... But as I look at how innocent Crimson looks just laying there, I can't bring myself to do it. Because even though she irritates the crap out of me with her hordes of adoring fans and her lack of a costume, it's kind of fun to have an enemy up to par with your skill level. As twisted as it sounds, life as a super-villain would be a lot less interesting without a Crimson in it. Who else would I gripe about to Sebastian? She's so irritatingly good. Sure, she was ready to kill me, but I'm sure I deserved whatever was coming for me. I might as well let her live. Just in the sake of keeping things interesting.
        "For another time, Crimson," I look down at her. "And for the record, I still have no idea what you were so cranky about that you were willing to kill me in revenge." With that I walk off feeling totally villainous. (Except for the fact that instead of flying I have to walk to the parking lot and get into my Camry like a soccer mom. That kind of just lowers my villain cred right there.)
        My head starts to throb, and even though I struggle to maintain it, my Eris costume fades away to leave me feeling exposed in my civilian form. Before anyone can see me like this next to the passed out super and connect the dots, I drive out onto the road. My hands are shaking as I reach for the ibuprofen bottle I keep in my glovebox. Illusions like that, that mess with people's senses other than sight, drain me both physically and mentally. Especially one so elaborate. As strange as it sounds, tricking people into thinking that they're feeling pain is the hardest. Making them see something that's not there is easy. People are stupid when it comes to seeing and believing.
        I'm wiped out, and the only way to "replenish" my supply of power is to sleep, but I have a feeling I won't be getting any sleep tonight. So I head to the only place I can think of.

Super?Onde as histórias ganham vida. Descobre agora