Inside The Mind of Tatiana Rose

The Visit

I looked boredly out of the back window, wanting to be at school instead of in this car with my bitch of a mother, who's trying to make conversation. 

Sad, I know wanting to be at school.

Anyone would think I'm crazy – which I'm not.

But, let's weigh up the factors.

 Being in the car with your mother, who keeps constantly asking you dumb questions about how this "stupid crush" started or being at school where you can see your handsome maths teacher. 

Which one would you choose?

I know, I'd choose the latter.

"Tatiana, are you even listening to me? You've been saying 'mhm' for the past hour."

"Mhm" I say, just to piss her off even more.

She lets out a weary sigh.

"You know I only want to help you get better Tiana. What you are doing isn't healthy. Okay, maybe having a tiny crush is fine. But when you go to the extreme of engraving someone's name in your skin, that's when it becomes a worry."

"Well you didn't care before, the only thing you care about is your job. Ever since you got that "fancy" job as a lawyer, everything else hasn't seemed to matter. That's the reason dad cheated and left us." I spat out, not bothering to make eye contact in the mirror.

"Don't take that tone with me young lady, the reason your father left us was because we had differences in opinions."

I chuckled bitterly, "You still want to use that excuse? He left you because you didn't care about him anymore"

She was taken aback by my words, not knowing how to respond.

"Hmm, that's what I thought." I kiss my teeth.

The rest of the journey goes by in silence, with me looking out to the country scenery and her sneaking glances at me through the rear view mirror.

I zone out completely, letting my thoughts take over.

Once again, the horrible voices starting up.

"You do know the reason she's taking you to the doctors, right?"

"She's gonna put you in an asylum, she thinks you're crazy."

"But she is" another voice pitches in.

"No, you aren't Tia. You're perfectly normal."

"You should try get out of here before it's too late."

"Open the door."

"Open the door!"

"Open the door!"

"Open the door!"

The voices urged, over and over. All speaking at once, blocking out what was happening around me.

"I'll do it, just stop."

The voices kept repeating the same sentence over and over, driving me crazy.

"I said stop!" I growled out, beginning to bang my palms against my skull.

I reached for the door handle, but in the process fall out of the car onto the cold, hard concrete pavement. 

Looking up to see my mother and a man in a long, white coat, most likely the doctor.

"See, this is what I've been talking about Doctor." she mutters, the doctor nodding in agreement.