XXVII | Love And Death Last

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The rage was palpable. It was like stepping out of an air-conditioned room into the Saharan Desert, like a wall of heat smacking Kaia in the face. It was shock and fear she felt when he ripped her from her dream with Kaleb, that warm and soft dream.

It was like falling from the clouds down to earth, only to smack into solid concrete and turn into a quivering puddle. "I underestimated you, Kaia," he growled.

"Jack, I-" Kaia started, but he held up his hand. The fury in his eyes shut her up. 

"Listen to me, Kaia. I know what you must think of me, that I'm a monster, but-"

"You are a monster!" Kaia shouted. She'd snapped. It had seemed like he was about to defend himself, defend his actions. Such a thing was so outrageous that Kaia couldn't bring herself to listen to it. "You murdered my mother!"

"I didn't want to!" Jack bellowed.

Kaia froze, her breath suspended as if her lungs had heard that shout and stopped on their own, else they anger Jack further. It was the first time she'd seen Jack legitimately break his composure, his face reddening and his eyes on fire. It was terrifying. "What do you mean?" Kaia asked, taking a step away from him.

Kaia felt like needles surrounded her, and if she dared move an inch, said or did the wrong thing, they would pierce her skin. "I..." Jack started and then he sighed. His shoulder collapsed and it was like all of his energy left him at once. His shockingly blue eyes dulled.

"She was nothing but kind to me. She understood me, got close to me when no one else could. I hate that she died for it."

Kaia felt a lump form in the back of her throat, and her eyes stung. "You what?" Kaia asked breathlessly. She'd felt the threat of danger leave Jack as his eyes lost their shine. He seemed defeated, like a storm that had fizzled out just before the thunder shook the house and rattled the windows. 

This man had turned out to be anything other than what Kaia had expected of him. He hadn't seemed evil when she'd met him; conniving, yes, secretive, positively. But not evil, not like the sort of man who would kill in cold blood. But now she'd seen this other side of him, this side that...that seemed to care about her mother. Those were the last words Kaia had expected to hear him say. Perhaps it was only so stunning because she could detect how genuine he was. 

Jack sat down slowly on Kaia's bed, and she watched him, unmoving. He rested his head in his hands. At that moment, he looked older than he ever had. She always knew there were years behind him, his gray hair told her so, but one chooses how to wear their age. It was an old many that spoke, "I've never been able to...connect with people. Never. But when I met your mother...well, she was the exception."

"You're lying," Kaia said coldly, "I've been in your head just like you've been in mine. I saw you right before you killed her. I felt your bloodlust." But Kaia could feel the doubt in her voice. She, despite everything, was starting to believe this man. 

It was because of the change in him, the sudden collapse from his overly confident self to this weaker, alien version of him. He looked withered like he was finally bearing the weight of his actions.

Jack nodded, "I remember it like it was yesterday, but it wasn't my bloodlust, Kaia. I'm cursed."

"Cursed," Kaia repeated in disbelief.

"I lose control," Jack said, his voice dark, "Sometimes, I...disappear. And the wolf, the instinctual part of me, comes to the surface and I have no control over my actions or thoughts. I would never have chosen to hurt Isobel."

Kaia leaned against the bedframe, crossing her arms. "You realize that this is hard to believe. More than that, it's practically impossible."

Jack nodded and ran his hand over his face like he hadn't slept for days. He stood up slowly, "I know."

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