The Girl Who Sold Herself on Ebay

[9] Stalkers and Sneakers

For the awesome comments :)

Thought I'd upload this while there was alot of people online. It's not edited, and the ending was written at lightspeed, so it's not perfect, still in the editing process (: Hope you enjoy it anyway!

Oh, and just a note: the cow story is REAL (: 100% true i saw it on the news a few years back. Haha. Oh and if anone is wondering, the answers to the cryptic codes in chapter *insert number here I don't remember* is 'Jas737' which is Jasper if you make the numbers lettters. (like on a cellphone) and $543 (the price he paid) spells Lie. :) You'll find out why later. 

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C H A P T E R   N I N E

❤

I didn’t have much time to contemplate, but I knew I had to say something.

Please stop following me,

Back of buddy, I have a black belt in purple-nurple,

I have a gun, and if you step any closer to me I’ll pull this trigger and blow up your brains like an explosive tin of spaghetti, and I won’t be afraid to make you eat it afterwards, you sick, stalking creep.

          Or maybe I’d just get down on my hands and knees and eat grass like a cow. After all, was the class champion in charades three years in a row, so acting it out would be a piece of cake. I’d just get down, rip and mouthful of grass from the ground, and be sure to add the ‘moo’ for sound effects while grinding it up with my teeth. It worked for one woman; I saw it on the news. She was coming home from a party late one night and took a shortcut through an empty park. She heard footsteps behind her and knew she was being followed, and in a hasty decision to avoid being murdered she got down on her hands and knees and acted like a cow. Her follower was so freaked out he pretty much ran away in complete shock; she scared him off big time. Surely it would work for me too, right? It seemed like a pretty plausible idea, I mean, unless this guy had a thing for beastiality?

          I gulped, and began picking up the pace. My feet were sweating like a hormonal teenagers armpits, and I swore I heard the occasional squelch as I stepped down onto the pavement. I wanted to slap myself for wearing sneakers, I mean, did I want to arrive at Jaspers place smelling like a pair of un-washed gym socks? He’d probably open the door, take one whiff of me, and his nose hairs would be singed by the stench. ‘Wow,’ he’d think, ‘you might want to think about cleaning yourself before you start cleaning my apartment.’ 

          “Hey, lady,” Sounded a voice from behind me, I immediately knew it was my follower. He’d called me ‘toots’ a little earlier, in that same raspy, slurred voice that made me sick to my stomach. I could hear his boots scuffing along the ground behind me and small groans escaping from the back of his throat. His footsteps were becoming fast paced and I knew he’d soon catch up to me.

          While caught up in the moment, the name ‘flipswick freak’ somehow managed to ease its way into my mind. I’d heard someone mention it before at school, but I didn’t think it was based on any facts. But the fact that the first person I came across started to follow me, made me think twice about the small region of Flipswick being full of dodgy people. Maybe it was as bad as everyone back in Glacier Hills described it to be?

          I almost died when I realised the creep was still following me. I could see him hobbling along behind me out of the corner of my eye. My legs felt like Jell-O and my arms seemed to flail about like duck wings as I ran down the road, trying to escape from this guy who seemed persistent to catch up to me. I was absolutely exhausted, and not to mention so scared I could have shed an exoskeleton.