I should have left as soon as I realised what a monster he was. It would have saved me from a lot of pain and misery.
I can't leave now. I really wan't to sometimes. But, I can not, he always convinces me to stay with his lies. He disgises his monster, with the sweet boyfriend I love. I know he loves me too. He tells me he does. He tells me that he is the only one stupid enough to love me.
After all I am just a stupid, ugly, good for nothing whore. That is what David tells me. He should know. We have been dating for two years. The first few months were incredible. He gave me my first kiss.
I remember these things in the times when I ponder leaving David. It is what keeps me going. It is what keeps me from running away in terror from the snaraling monster with snapping teeth and and razor sharp claws. Those claws rip my skin, leaving me feeling emptey and alone. The teeth chew themselves through what little self esteem I have left from his relentless attacks. Spitting out horrible things about myself that I eventually come to belief.
Eventually the monster goes away. My loving boyfriend comes back again. The one who will wisper sweet things into my ear. Make me happy. The person he shows every one else. I haven't been seeing the nice David as much as the moster lately. Somehow, it is only me with the monster.
It will start out as a nice quiet afternoon of me watching t.v. at his house. It will end with me begging for him to stop hitting me. The relentless punches, slaps, and kicks, as well as the terrible things he keeps yelling at me.
But, I will deal with the beatings. I will deal with his monster. I deserve it. He has told me that. I don't deserve the sweet nice side of him. He has told me several times I do not even deserve to live. He has told me he canreplace me easily.
I belief him. There is probably not a girl who wouldn't stop to drool over him. He truely is gorgeous. David is very muscular for a sixteen yearold. He has dark brown hair and deep green eyes. And he knows it.
He also knows I am desperate to keep him. Once he made me jellous by flirting with some girls that were ten times prettier than me. I told him I saw that and it made me jellous and upset. I told him my feelings outright. He told me he doesn't like to guess my emotions. So I have to tell him about my feelings.
That night was the first time I ever saw his monster. I never got jellous again. Well I did get jellous again. Especially when I saw David kiss my best friend. But I did not tell him. That would make him mad. I wanted him to be happy around me.
I never did trust my friend again.
It is times like now where I wake up in Davids bathroom with a first aid kit out laid in frount of me that I think about why I am in my sittuation. I want to go home. But David won't let me walk home alone and only he drives me anywhere. He doesn't trust me enough to go anywhere by myself.
When David and I first met we were only friends with the same p.e. class. But when my dad left my mom I started to lean on him more. Two months later my dad contacted me saying I could visit him every other weekend.
David advised me to go and fix my broken relationship with my dad. I went to my dads house with high hopes only to find that he already had a girlfriend with a son. Almost everytime I would visit my dad Ms.Tonya would be there with her annoying six year old Cameron.
That Halloween when his girlfriend has tagged along and totally changed our plans, I asked him to talk in my room. I told him I didn't like that his girlfriend was allways there. He called me hatefull and said that they were going to get married as soon as Ms. Tanyas divorce was final. I straight up told him right there that I wouldnt go to his house anymore . He then stormed away from me and slammed the door in my face.
The next day I was a mess. I had cried all night and forgot to wash the red paint out of my hair. I had scrubbed off my halloween make-up quickly that morning so my face was blotchey.
Finally it was fith period p.e. My favorite class. It must have been evident that I was upset because David pulled me out of the gym and asked me what was wrong. I burst out wirh the whole story. And he let me cry into his shoulder.
After that our friendship deepened. To a whole new leval.
"Mallorie!" I heard a groggy voice scream. Looks like David woke up. And it looks like I got the monster today.
