Lover of the Light

Letting Go

Lover of the Light

Chapter Five: Letting Go

A month had passed since that eventful train ride on the Hogwarts Express. Nothing revolutionary or eventful had happened after Blaise and Malfoy took seats in the compartment with the Golden Trio and Ginny Weasley. For the most part, they had sat in the awkward, tension-filled atmosphere; occasionally broken when Ginny had something to say about the upcoming year that was waiting for all of them. Neither of them attempted to add to anything the redheaded girl had to say then, Ron and Malfoy silent and looking away from everything, and Hermione had just taken a seat eventually next to her half-brother.

When given the chance, Hermione had sprung herself right out of the compartment, Ginny following her trail, and the two girls had gone off to change into their robes. As they were doing so, the younger witch had a lot to ask, allowing herself a moment to gasp dramatically and express her bewilderment over the fact that Hermione Granger was actually a Zabini. And though Hermione could understand Ginny's curiosity, the brunette had refrained from saying anything to ease it and just asked about the latter's summer. Taking the hint, Ginny had gone in a very detailed explanation about all those weeks of the summer holidays, taking up the forty-five minutes that had been left of the train ride until it came to a stop. Hermione had been very grateful for Ginny's indirect stalling.

The two girls had waited almost another half hour before they fled the side of the train that they were in. Hermione had ducked her head down, making her way through the crowd of students, Ginny glued to one of her hands, and then they had proceeded to the castle. Hermione had said goodbye to the redhead as soon as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. After she had practically sprint to her dormitory, she had stayed there in hiding; not even going to the welcome feast that Parvati Patil had insisted the two go down together for.

She knew that perhaps she was being a bit paranoid, but she honestly felt like people would know the truth as soon as they spotted her. She'd almost had a mini heart-attack when having been hiding in her closed-off four-poster and heard a serious 'Hermione Granger', finding Parvati standing at the entrance of the dormitory looking thoroughly calculating. To her relief, however, Parvati seemed to have been having some sort of emotional moment and heartbreaking thoughts because the girl had then tossed herself towards Hermione, tears in her eyes; crying about how she couldn't believe that out of the four girls sharing that dormitory, they'd been the only ones to survive. Hermione had proceeded to distract herself of her own issues by listening to Parvati grieve over the deceased Lavender Brown.

The point was that Hermione knew she was being a coward, too. The truth was the truth, she tried to understand that, but she couldn't really accept it. She was terrified that at any given minute someone would call out for Aria Zabini, a girl she was supposed to be since the moment she was born. But Hermione Granger's life hadn't made her a pureblood girl, had it? Nor had it given her a biological brother named Blaise Zabini. No, she had a brother—Harry—and though he was not tied down by blood to her, she knew him, felt him like you do family. If she accepted the truth, if she let others know the truth, all that would go away. She wouldn't be Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley's best friend; she'd be a Zabini, the daughter of a man once associated with Voldemort.

Apart from feeling like a coward and terribly paranoid, she started feeling guilt since the first day of lessons when she began to dodge through people, hide in corners, and spend less time out in the grounds every time she saw a flash of the Slytherin crest. Blaise didn't deserve the shame and misery she felt, but it was also another thing she couldn't help. She was terrified to just think that he would declare her his half-sister if she ever gave him even a moment to spend together...