As the days went on that week, Nadia found herself at times feeling inexplicably anxious, unsettled, disturbed. It was as if there was a nagging empty space inside of her that ached to be filled. She found she was often on edge, and tense inside. When he came to pick her up after not seeing her for that week, she found herself nervous and afraid, and as they spent time together that evening, she was quiet, withdrawn, at times, anxiously trying to find topics of conversation other times, almost manically chattering about this or that. Her breathing was quick and shallow, her body tense. He felt the stress in her, and just watched her and tried to catch her eyes, but she kept averting her glance.
"Nadia." He spoke in that soft but firm voice he had. She felt his dark eyes avidly watching her.
"Yeah," she spoke quietly, looking down and away, her long hair falling over her shoulders, like a gentle curtain.
" Tell me what is wrong. You are upset about something. You can't hide that from me, baby. And look at me. Now."
She hesitantly raised her gaze and met his eyes. He saw her large eyes and her pained expression.
"Come here." It was a soft spoken command.
She crossed the room slowly, and made her way to where he sat, and he noticed her was slightly trembling.
He drew her to him, pulled her swiftly onto his lap, wrapped his arms around her. He cradled her head I against his shoulder, fingers stroking her hair. He soothed her, his other hand on her back, his fingers softly stroking hypnotically up and down. "You're hurting, Nadia. What is on your mind, baby?"
Nadia felt the tears rise into her eyes, clouding her vision, as he spoke to her in such a caring, kind way. She felt her body shaking, and the tears stream down her cheeks, their salty taste. He held her tighter, protectively against himself. "That's it, let it out," he whispered to her. "It's okay. I've got you. Don't be afraid. Just let it out." He had wanted this to happen. He had realized how blocked she was, how she constantly fought to hold herself together, the tight control she seemed to need. He also had realized how wounded she was underneath, her deep sadness inside. He had known intuitively that she needed to break, and that he needed to witness it, be there during it, and catch her as she fell hard. He needed to hold her tightly through the tears, hold her still against him, touch her in a deep place that no one had touched her before, break her inner walls and find the place where she had been trapped, lost, and alone for so long.
She was shaking and sobbing in his arms.
"I know the others turned away from your pain, Nadia. I won't. I won't leave you. I am not afraid of your pain and fear. I know what you need." He whispered to her in her ear, as he kept stroking. He held her and talked softly to her until her shaking and her sobs started to subside and he felt her relax and slacken against him. He lifted her face with his hands on either side and held her large eyes with his own.
Her eyes were wide open with wonder and trust. They shone into his own through what remained of her tears. Disbelieving but trusting at the same time, her eyes held questions and longings.
He silently kissed and licked away her tears.
