Don't Look Back

Unrequited Love

"Cris?" I hear his tender voice asking, hesitantly. "Cristine Wild, it's me. Will. Do you remember me?" Do I remember you? You are but the love of my life. I strived to say, but my mouth felt as if it were filled with heavy sand. 

Then Jonas shoulders his way through into my vision. "Cris!" He, panicky, yelps, "Cris, I-- I'm so sorry!" For what? I would ask, but-- again-- I feel immobilized. "It's all my fault! Please, please forgive me." 

Perseus stands off to the side, stoic and impassive. He does, though, have a few words to say to Jonas, Will, and me. "Jonas; it wasn't your fault. I was the one who threw the knife... you should be blaming me-- she should be blaming me." He chokes out, showing the slightest bit of emotion. 

"William-- you didn't stop me! What kind of brother are you?!" 

Will responds, "I know you love her, Percy. And don't blame me! I love her-- I love her, too. You know that." 

Percy ignores Will as he turns to me. "Cris, you heard him. I love you... and I threw the knife at you. Will you forgive me?" It was then that I woke up. 

My eyes slowly opened, taking in the scene-- Perseus gripping my hand tightly, Jonas hovering over me, and Will-- dear Will-- brushing a strand of hair back from my face. "Will... Jonas... Perseus..." I murmured, taking Perseus's hand and pressing it to my lips. He draws back, shocked. "I heard you. Every one of you."

"You-- you did?" Will seems to fumble with his words. 

"Of course-- of course." I say breathlessly. "Perseus-- really? And, Jonas-- you are my brother. I would forgive you for the world." 

Perseus was busy staring at me. "Really, Cristine? You-- love me?" I open my mouth, looking at Will, about to refuse him, when his lips meet mine. 

It's... magical. I'd always believed that William was my one true love, but here was proof that human beings are possibly more complex than any other creature on Earth. Sparks flew. The world sharpened into a much higher definition. 

And all I could see was William's handsome, devastated face. "Wait, Perseus." I gasped, after he had released me, "William is-- is-- you were not my-- my--" I stuttered. 

And then he gets it. 

His face closes off, and Will's blooms. "Really?" Will breathes, touching my face. But I did not want him kissing me, as Perseus had kissed me, so desperate and passionate and right-- for I was torn. Will or Perseus? They were twins, distinguishable only by their eyes. Will was my first love, but was he my true love?

Yes. And no. I could not possibly decide, and in the weeks that marked the happiest time of my life, with Jonas and Will and Percy, I was caught in a maddening limbo between the two brothers. The rebels were at peace with the country, temporarily, and... so was I.

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One starlit night I asked Jonas, "What are the rebels so... worked up about, anyways?" 

Jonas glanced at me, that ard gleam in his eyes igniting, like every other time we'd talk of the revolution. "Do you know what the Georgian States were also called, back when George was actually ruling them?" He asked. I shook my head, curious, and a bit apprehensive. "They were called 'Archaia,'  the word originating from 'archaic,' which meant 'old-fashioned, or old.' We think that the President is trapping us in the past, Cris. He's not letting us advance technologically, like the other countries are, and instead of barreling into the future, he's pulling us back into our pasts. No electronics. No enhanced cognitive alterations... school systems reverting to more harsh discplinary acions. We want to move forwards, not back."

I winced. "Enhanced cognitive alterations?" I asked, "Changing someone's brain? That's what you're working for?"

"You wouldn't understand." Jonas grimly said. 

"Yes, you wouldn't." Percy-- we'd all begun calling him that-- jumped in. "Cris, you're too young. When you're young, it's easy to see things in the 'black-and-white' perspective-- either it's evil, or it's not. This is different." He said to me, frowning. 

I frowned back. "Whatever." 

"Whatever." He mimicked me. I glared at him fiercely... this was one of my worse days. My connection with Percy had been severed, and the sparks dimmed and drifted towards the ground.

"So I'm leaving now." I hinted. I picked up my pack. "I'm headed for Miss Ellie's, okay?" Without a backwards glance, I left, my bag swinging at my hip. When I finally walked to her shop, I found... Will. My heart began tapping, like every time I saw him. 

"Cris!" His face broke into a smile. "Sit with me. I've just been reading the most wonderful story!" He showed me the familiar cover of The Greatest Struggle. I laughed, and pulled out an identical edition from my own pack, and whacked him with it. 

"Too late, Heathers!" I crowed, plopping down next to him. He absentmindedly put an arm around me, and where the sparks had dimmed for Percy, they took flight again for his twin. He laughs, running a hand through my hair.

"Too late? I think not." He laughs, and then his eyes dim. "I'll miss you, Cris."

"Why? I'm right here, Will." I shrug, fingering the cover of my book.

"No. You won't be here forever. Or-- I won't be here forever." My head jerks sharply up. "Yes, Cris. I must rejoin the rebels soon. There's talk of raiding another storehouse, securing a government virus-- not to use, but to keep it from the Archaian officials." He hastily says, after glancing at my alarmed face. 

"This love-- it won't last."