11 // "I Am Not Watching Another Stupid Feminist Video"

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11.


Kicking back the covers in frustration, Nathan rolls out of his bed -or more like Blessing's- and sits on the edge with the elbows on the knees and sags the shoulders. He's not too sure what is going on but believes that this body is most certainly not his body. Of course, Nathan is aware that he is in Blessing's body but tonight he is aware that this isn't his skin. It's too dark. These aren't his bones. They are too light and airy. This isn't his hair. It is too course and curly. These aren't his eyes. They are too dark and vibrant. This isn't his body. This isn't his body.

A panic begins to build in the core as he stands up and grabs the mirror determinedly with both fists. What looked back at him scared and distressed him to the point that he drops the hand mirror which cracks on the thin hard carpeted floor. The eyes remain trained on the cracked mirror and for a split second when he blinks, his big green glittering eyes, his tanned golden complexion, his short wavy dirty blonde hair and tears begin welling in those green eyes.

As quick as he saw his own true reflection, it disintegrates and he's gazing back at Blessing's brown glamourous face. The mirror cracks some more startling Nathan and from the left-hand corner of the cracked mirror, he spots a tall, dark foreboding figure and a gut-wrenching scream erupts from the throat. Twisting the neck around, Nathan stumbles back against the desk, knocking over various books and stationary. Scrambling on the floor, he grapples with the light switch for the lamp and when it's on, Nathan darts the eyes left and right, his breathing erratic, his heart beating hard and painful against the chest.

Swallowing hard, Nathan creaks upwards and switches on the main light before gingerly opening the bathroom door and switching that light on too. Placing the hand on the hips, Nathan pauses to recollect his thoughts and feels the sweat slide slowly down the left side of the temple down to the chin. He hopes that none of Blessing's weird unbearable friends come knocking on the door but a further half hour suggests that no-one will be coming.

Nathan realises that people's eyes play tricks on them when they're sleep deprived however that dark shadow was unmistakable. Running the hands over the face, Nathan gasps in astonishment,

"Am I seeing things again?" He wonders to herself, slightly startled by the high light voice spilling out of the mouth and he realises where he's trapped. Dropping the head, Nathan groans but doesn't dare close his eyes in fear of seeing the dark foreboding figure. He knows why this is happening. It's because he's not praying enough. His mother always told him that if he starts to lapse on improving his spirituality and relationship with Allah that the dark figures will return. He's on Blessing's phone instantly,

"Listen yeah, I am trying to get to sleep!" Blessing hisses through the phone and he relaxes into the body at the sound of his deep gruff voice. Did he always sound this sexy?

"Okay but I need to talk to you! Remember when I told you a couple of year back about the dark shadows I used to see when I was younger?" Nathan begins frantically as he paces up and down the room. There is no response from Blessing so he continues, "-I saw one just now and I am freaking the fuck out," he whispers harshly in fear of one of Blessing's friends waking up,

"Didn't you say that when you began praying and taking Islam seriously that they went away?" Blessing replies, yawning in between,

"Yes they did and because I am not praying as much because I am stuck in this fucking body they are coming back! Coincidence I think not-," Nathan explains excitedly but is cut off by Blessing,

"-Don't be rude about my body. For all I know you could've fucked everything up and gained 3 pounds," Blessing interjects. Pinching the bridge of the nose, Nathan states firmly that she needs to focus, "look if it helps I had one of my nightmares two hours ago which haven't occurred in about three years. So I'm just as fucked as you babe," Blessing reassures in an irate tone.

"So this is a sign that we need to switch back to our bodies and go through with the ritual," Nathan jumps up and down in frenzied excitement,

"Look yeah, that pagan ritual of yours is ridiculously weird. I looked further into it and it needs us to cut ourselves and give like a litre of our own blood and I am not doing that," Blessing replies adamant,

"Well then what do you suggest?" Nathan raises the voice in frustration. As far as he's concerned he's done all the leg work while Blessing has kicked back and laid down with any girl with a beating pulse. If anything, she's probably become a lesbian and been skin to skin with the ugliest diseased girls, "have you been checked out?" He asks randomly and he can feel Blessing roll the eyes,

"I get the feeling that you think I'm doing everything apart from trying to find a solution to this crusty fuck up but trust me I am looking and I have got some bizarre ideas-," Blessing explains languidly, the voice becoming heavier with sleep,

"Yes, yes, yes please tell me anything!" Nathan urges attempting to awaken her slightly,

"Well there is this little blog place where people claim they have switched bodies with one another...and that they have slept with this person but things didn't work out blah...blah...blah-," Blessing trails and Nathan hisses down the phone for her to continue, "this article suggested that this supposed body swap was done to show your typical "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" and until you understand their perspective," Blessing continues in a more alert tone,

"Look I am not watching another stupid feminist video on why women should be allowed to grow their gross pubic and armpit hair. Not to mention I now know all the lyrics to No Scrubs and Single Ladies so I think I have done my bit," Nathan emphasises, shuddering slightly at the various videos he's had to watch,

"However, some people say that aliens are involved and that-," Nathan groans and clenches the fist,

"So much shit comes out of your mouth it's an actual joke. Look aliens are not real and-," Nathan bites back harshly,

"And your fucking plan is supposedly genius? Ergh, I'll just talk to you in the morning you nincompoop," with that Blessing hangs up the phone and Nathan knows it useless to try and call her back again. As he begins picking up the books and pencils he's knocked over, it dawns on him that the last time Blessing called him a nincompoop was when he'd thrown her up against the wall and kissed her hard smudging her lipstick. The only thing he wishes now is to hear the word nincompoop slip from Lana's lips as he kisses her up against the wall.

A small but dark dangerous thought flits through the mind. If Blessing can have fun, then why can't he and put into question her sexuality? That will be something for people to talk about. From the traumatising experience Lana experienced with Sam he wouldn't be surprised if her concentration has shifted to girls.

Shrugging the shoulders, Nathan places the last of the books on the desk before crawling into the covers but not before making sure he's covered in a blanket of artificial light.


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