Buzzed Hearts

49: old loves

THE BRIGHT FLUORESCENTS of the shopping mall blinds Camila, just for a moment. The department store is surprisingly empty as she shops for her prom apparel.

    During moments where she's alone, Camila's mind tends to explore the trajectory her life could have gone. It's useless but she does it anyways—despite being someone who looks into the future.

    Why have things never worked out in any of her relationships?

    It all boils down to that.

    It's not her family, her family's dysfunctional at times but there's so much love it's impossibly to keep it to herself, especially with Cameron in their lives now. It's not school, she's always managed it well. Although every week is just another cycle of stress, Camila has friends.

    Is it her?

    "It could be," she thinks to herself as she rubs the material of a dress between her fingers. "It probably is," she concludes.

    At other times, Jeremy convinces her that it's the people she's with—they're just not right. But relationships aren't about that, are they? They're about whether each individual is willing to work for it, and in all honesty, Camila hasn't shown that effort yet.

    In the dressing room, Camila peels away her tank top—somewhat sticky with sweat. Her hair curls against her neck and the sides of her forehead as she struggles with the first dress. Camila's always done her shopping alone and times like this, in the heated closet-sized space, she wonders about what could've been.

    Aidan Rivera.

    Turning to her side, Camila sighs. With this dress, she'll need a different kind of bra that she's not sure where she can get.

    Aidan Rivera was The One That Got Away. Although Elle and Jeremy always tell her it's premature to label him as such, Camila firmly believes it.

    Aidan Rivera was two years older and, when he left for college, Camila broke it off.

    1. Long distance relationships will never work. Period.

    2. They are two years apart. That's a lot of time to grow...apart.

    3. He'll want different things in a different state or country. No arguing there.

    4. When will they ever meet again? She can't base her college choices around where Aidan will be at whatever point of his life he'll be at.

    Why was Aidan The One That Got Away? Because he was perfect. Not necessarily flawless but they worked so well together. Camila always liked somewhat older guys. Aidan was educated, intelligent, humorous, and utterly romantic.

    While they worked together independently, Camila liked to give him surprise dinners when his parents were out Aidan liked to take her on long drives at midnight.

    They met in a club meeting. He was an officer because they needed someone to fill a position—he was president of the National Honor Society so he didn't have much time for other activities—at least that's what he said.

    One after-school meeting, Camila was running late, and seeing her across the hall, he held the door open for her.

    "Do you know a little trick, Camila? That's your name, right?" he asked when she caught up.

    "Yes? Aidan?"

    Following her into the classroom, he flashed a charming grin at the secretary, who was taking attendance. "Well, Camila, the trick is to say the name of your conversational partner in order to get them to like you."

    And that was it. Giving her a sly grin, Aidan turned his back to her and joined the rest of the officers.

    Suffice to say, Aidan was all she thought about for the rest of the week, and even more so after that, because she asked him out on Sunday night date on Friday.

    Camila puts the dresses back on the rack and decides to hop over to the next store. There are a million possible routes the two could've taken if Camila wanted more and she wonders what would change if Aidan showed up in her life again. What if the one that got away came back?

    But feelings are just feelings and, as of the moment, Camila needs something to wear to prom.