How To Write a Fight or Battle Scene

Part 3 - Writing the Scene

Writing the Scene

"The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp." - Terry Pratchett

Okay, so we know where we are, when we are, who we've got fighting, the environment we're set in, arms (swords and stuff, not the things your hands hang off) and why the fight is taking place.

This is the bit where it can go horribly wrong. Take a deep breath and relax, because it can also go wonderfully right if you keep thinking, and keep your plates spinning nicely.

I find it useful to mentally plan your way through the fight: choreography if you prefer the term. Remember Mr Beveridge? Proper planning prevents piss poor performance. Or Mr B's 6 Ps if you prefer. 

The way I sometimes do it is by writing it as bullet points first so you end up with something like -

- John attacks Bob 

- Bob stumbles and falls over 

- Lands badly 

- John pulls a knife jumps on top of Bob and stabs him 

- John gets up  

- John reaches for his gun in shoulder holster 

- Bob reaches for his gun with good hand (note: previously stabbed in left shoulder)  

- Bob shoots John in the gut

That can then get expanded into a full fight scene with noises, smells, fast action and background. And the occasional flamingo...

For the sake of longer example, let's assume we have two men fighting each other. Both are right-handed, both armed with short sword and shield: perhaps two Roman warriors. Picture this in your mind, you need to mentally choreograph the fight in your head (and / or write down brief notes), and work out what each opponent does with each blow. 

As the first man comes in with an overhead blow, does his opponent block it with his shield or his sword? If he blocks it with a shield, then it leaves his blade free to attack. If he blocks it with the sword, he can shield bash his opponent. Instantly you have a choice. He could also dodge of course, launch a magical attack, whistle for his tame kiwi fruit, or many other things, but keeping it simple is usually better. If they're both right-handed it's more than likely that the shield will do the block. Does it block it, or does the blade deflect, throwing the attacker off balance? What happens next? Keep asking questions and your fight can almost write itself. 

Now, the two of them can batter away like this for a bit if you like, but in actuality most fights are quick, brutal affairs, and the writing needs to reflect this. Fighters want to finish quickly so they can either run away or face the next opponent. The long battle scenes you see with characters trading blow after blow are all very well, but sometimes a quick flurry is all that is needed, and in actuality probably far more realistic. You can extend the fight scene with additional red shirts / expendables if you need them. 

But, all through the fight, think how you would perhaps find an opening and exploit it. Will your fighters fight clean or dirty? In my experience there is no such thing as a clean fight. My old martial arts instructor (who was an ex-policeman) always noted that most fights tend to end up on the ground, or with one person very quickly out of action. In the example we've been talking about above, the attacker goes off balance: does the other fighter immediately jump in and take advantage? Does he slip on some spilt wine, thus giving the attacker the time to recover? So many questions, but so little time to get it all into the scene. This is where the surroundings and setting are so important. For example, if they're in the middle of the desert then there won't be any wine to slip on (if they're in a dessert, particularly a trifle, then there may be some sherry, but I've never written Food Fic and don't intend to start now).

Right, scrap on. How do you start describing what's happening? Essentially, you write how you'd fight. Keep it short, punchy:

"He hit the floor. Hard. Winded and groaning in pain, he struggled to his feet, blocked the next blow from his opponent, roared his defiance and charged the man who opposed him..."

Or

"The fighter hit the floor, his multi-hued shield dented and the paint damaged. The impact of the blow had winded him, causing him to groan in pain. As he wheezed and tried to stand up again, his opponent moved to the attack, his short sword held tightly in one fist, warrior rings shining on his left hand. As the blow came in, he blocked it with his shield and then roared his defiance into the still air of the morning, the sound echoing around the stillness of the dewy valley. Rushing forwards with his shield and sword held high..."

They both say the same thing, but the latter one, although descriptively more eloquent perhaps, is ponderous, and doesn't put across the speed and pace of the fight. Fights ebb and flow, and you can control that with the pace of the sentence. Both could be used, but it depends where you are in your scene and how you want it to play out. It's a fine line sometimes, but don't stop to edit until you've finished the scene. Once you've got everything set up in your mind, this is the point where you want to hit the paper with all you've got. The quicker you write it, the more likely you will be to end up with a pacier scene.

In my experience, unless you're opening a story or a paragraph in the middle of a fight (which can definitely work), there is a lead in to a fight. This is where your writing will reflect the pace at which the story moves.

The non-fight parts of the piece you're writing can wallow happily in the descriptive side of things, dwelling on the detail (but still not too much, we don't need to know that the knight was handsome with a small scar on his left pectoral muscle which shone as if freshly oiled... blah blah blah... okay, this might be a matter of personal taste here, but just getting the hell on with it is going to keep your readers more entertained in most cases), describing the location and background, the circling of the opponents, and the pre-fight banter. This is where we can put in the Lines. Those little lines you hear in films or read in great books. For example:

"Just because I don't like to fight, doesn't mean I can't."

"Still think I can't fight?"

"You want to fight? Fight me..."

and so on. There's often a wee comic twist at the end, Arnie style, but that's up to the writer...

Above all, keep it punchy. And use a Thesaurus, you can only use 'hit' so many times. You can even use the Theasaurus as a weapon if you like, a hardback is probably preferable.

Additionally, I don't honestly think it matters whether you write in first, second or third person (and I have seen action done in all three very successfully), all that matters is that you keep a track of the action. If you forget who is meant to be where, which hand the hero is holding his sword in, or the fact that you killed off Gandalf four chapters ago, your readers will very quickly give up on you.

Make notes, keep track, but above all remember Mr B and his bag of peas...