Best Kept Lies (Best Kept #3)

Chapter 50: I've Given Up On You

★Jasper★

Joey gave me his hat before I left for Georgia.

            It was our grandpa's hat and he never took it off unless he was ready for bed, taking a shower, or going for a swim. Sometimes he'd try to get by with wearing during those times, but Mom had something to say about it.

            I was surprised the day Joey climbed on my lap and gave me his hat. He told it helped him remember the happy times we had with our grandpa and maybe the hat would help me remember the happy times with Ella, not that I need a hat to remember. I've had nothing but happy times with Ella, except the day she burst into my room and ended it.

            It's hard to believe that was almost a month ago.

            With the hat in my hands, I do remember the happy times with Ella. But remembering those happy times causes a heart string to snap.

            I stand from Jarod's couch and walk into what's my room now. It was his guest room, but he never found use for it, so now it's mine. I don't know how long I'll be here, but as of now, I don't think I'll go back before the internship starts.

            Tugging the dresser drawer open, I tuck the hat away and shut it again.

            I scrub at my face and fall onto the bed.

            Jarod hasn't been around much. He has a new girlfriend he's been spending a lot of time with and mainly stays with her at her apartment, which is two levels up. I told him I don't mind being alone, but I do have trouble with it.

            I've been in Atlanta for a week and I actually don't hate it. The city makes me nervous, but I grew up in Orlando. I'd rather live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, where everything is quiet.

            The interviews were a couple of days ago and I got a call from the owner himself, James Roedan. I was surprised when he offered me the internship first off. During the interview, I had Ella's bracelet wrapped around my finger, hoping for a bit of good luck. I'm glad the person that did the interviews was easy going or else I probably would've been kicked out for stuttering too much, but once I got into the interview, it was easy.

            And now I have it.

            When I was told I got it, the first person I wanted to tell was Ella. I had my phone out, my thumb hovering above her name, but I saved myself the trouble and didn't call. I used to call her because I knew I'd get her voicemail and I just wanted to hear her voice. This is something I wanted to share with her and now I can't.

            Originally, I wasn't going to even go to the interview. After talking to Jaylen for a couple of hours, I realized how good this is for me. I don't want to put my life on hold because the first girl I ever loved broke my heart. I didn't want to miss out on this opportunity. Maybe this time apart will do us some good.

            I wonder if she's moved on or if she even misses me.

            Maybe she doesn't think about me at all and I feel stupid thinking about her as much as I do. My lock screen on my phone is still a picture of her with Joey and Harper. I need to let go of her, but something is stopping me.

            Turning on my side, I find the book sitting on my bedside table and open it up. It's the book of Ella's I had found under my bed. Each night, I've been reading a chapter before I fell asleep and reading the notes she left inside. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I didn't put this book in the box.