Chapter 6

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  "Dear God please let him be okay. Please let him be okay." I kept repeating that phrase under my breathe the entire 30 minutes to the hospital. Kai kept asking if I was okay and I honestly couldn't answer him. How could I be okay? I don't know what's wrong with my dad or if he is even alive, but I can't think about that right now. I just have to hope for the best.
   Once we get there I jump out of the car before Kai even has the car in park. I was already at the front desk when the valet took his car to park it.
   "Hi, how can I help you?" the clerk says with an annoying smile on her face.
   "My dad was brought here. I need to know what room number he is in."
   "Okay, what is his na-" before she could finish I heard my name being called. I turn around and I see Kelsey and Annie with terrified looks on their face and you can tell they've been crying. I sprint to them and grab them both in a tight embrace.
   "Where's daddy?"
   "He's in room 137 on the second floor," Kelsey answers.
   "Where's mom?"
   "She told Kelsey to bring me down here to get some candy."
   "Alone?! Is she crazy?!" before my yelling could get any louder, Kai puts his hand on my shoulder and brought me back to reality.
   "Don't do this right now. We need to make sure your dad is okay. You go to his room and I'll get the girls food, if they're hungry."
   "Okay thank you!" I hurriedly walk to the elevator and as if God wanted to do me a quick solid, the elevator doors opened as soon as I reached them.
   Once I get to the second floor I'm searching frantically for his room. I have to find him and I can't concentrate on the room numbers long enough to find his room and the longer it takes for me to find it the more frustrated I get.
   "Ma'am, can I help you?" I turn to see a dark skinned lady in purple scrubs with butterflies all over it with a worried look on her face.
   "Yes, I really need help finding my dad." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I've been trying to for the last 45 minutes.
   "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, we will find him. Take a deep breath, it won't do you any good to get that upset especially with that baby of yours." It takes a few minutes, but she helps me calm down by rubbing my back and telling me we will find my dad.
   "He is in room 137."
   "Okay, that's just right down the hall." She holds me by my arm and walks me slowly down the hall to my dad.
   When we get there my heart breaks into a million pieces. I walk in, I see my dad asleep with no color to his face and my mom on his left side gently stroking his salt and pepper hair with her right hand, while holding his hand with her other hand. I can see her eyes were a little red and swollen from crying. There were still tears in her dark green eyes.
   She may act crude towards me, but she loves my dad with her entire being. She would do anything for him. She would honestly be ruined if my dad died. She lives for that man.
   I walk in slowly, so to not startle her. "Mom?" I whisper lightly. She looks over quickly and hurriedly wipes the tears from her eyes.
   "Hey, baby." She gets up from her seat, watching my dad as if he could go any second. She walks over to me and hugs me lightly.
   "What happened?" thats the only thing I could say right now. The only thing that was running through my head other than my prayer.
   She looked down at her hands and I saw little dark spots form on her jeans from her tears. "Well, we were sitting on the porch smoking our cigarettes and you know that cough he has been having for the last month or so? It started acting up and he was coughing so hard that when he pulled his hand away he had blood on his palm and he then started wheezing and couldn't catch his breathe," she couldn't hold it in anymore and started sobbing. I didn't realize I was crying again, until I felt the tears hit my shirt.
   Then, I hear the girls and Kai down the hall so I wipe my eyes hastily and say, "Mom go outside and get some air. I'll stay with dad the entire time you're gone. If the girls see you so upset, then they'll panic and it'll scare them more than it needs to."
   She hesitates before moving and looks over at my dad, then at me. "If anything, anything at all changes, you come get me. Understand?"
   "Yes, mom. Now go." As she steps out the room, the girls come in with chocolate milk and some chocolate chip cookies. I look at Kai and he is already putting his hands up as if he was surrendering.
   "Hey, I thought that would be better than Mountain Dew with sour gummy worms."
   "Yeah, definitely better." I look up at Kai and it's as if he already knew. He steps forward and wraps his gigantic arms around me, comforting me. I now feel grounded and not so out of control.
                               •••
   As we sit by the bed, I just stare at the clock. It's already 6:30 and the girls haven't had dinner or showers. It's not too bad though, since it's Friday. I can tell they're tired of sitting here, not being able to do anything.
   Dad has been asleep majority of the time. He woke up about an hour after I got here and stayed awake long enough to say, "Hey sweetpea," then thumped his head back onto his pillow and was snoring lightly.
   Earlier, purple scrubs comes in to check on my dad and I. She told us, the doctors are going to run some tests to see what the problem is. That was two hours ago. I'm starting to get restless and I'm about to go look for the nurse and see what the hold up is.
   Then, a tall middle-aged man in a white doctor's coat walks in. I instantly stand up and my heart starts to beat a little faster.
   "Hi, I'm Dr. Parker, Dean Gallaway's doctor."
   "Hi, I'm Cora, his daughter. That's my boyfriend, Kai with my little sisters, Kelsey and Annie and that's my mom, Becky." Everyone is looking at him waiting for the news. The look on his face tells me it's nothing good, but I take a deep breathe and wait for what he has to say.
   "Can we step outside?" Uh-oh.
   "Yes, that'd probably be best." Me and my mom follow behind the doctor, while Kai surfes through the channels to find cartoons for the girls.
   "We ran some tests and scans on your husband," my mom reaches for my hand and has it in a death grip, "and we found cancerous cells in his lungs. Mr. Gallaway has stage two lung cancer, which means there is a possibility the cancer has spread to nearby lymph nodes and even to the chest wall."
   "What?! No! He can't! He can't have cancer! You're lying! He will be okay! Stop lying to me!" my mom has totally lost it. She fell to her knees as if she has given up hope. I try to keep it together, but I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I cross my arms and look at the doctor.
   "How long does he have?" I take a deep breathe, trying to get rid of the knot stuck in my throat.
   "With extensive treatment 6 to 12 months."
   "When do you recommend him to start?"
   "As soon as possible." I simply nod my head, grab my mother off the floor and carry her back to the room. As I walk in, Kai stands up and I just shake my head.
   "Come on girls. Me and Kai will take you home and bring you back here tomorrow morning."
   "Is Daddy okay, sissy?" Annie looks at me with tears in her eyes.
   "He will be, he's just a little sick right now. He needs to rest." I give her a weak smile and for a second I thought she could tell I was lying right through my teeth.
   "Okay, can we have hamboogers for dinner?" she gives me her adorable toothless grin and all I could do was laugh at how silly she can be at such a dark time.
   "Yes, I think we have hamburger meat at home. We could try making daddy patties. How does that sound?"
   "Yeaaaaah!" she jumps up and down with her hands in the air, happier than ever.
   We gather our stuff and wish my mother a goodnight, even though I know this definitely won't be a good night. I'm the last to leave the room and before I do, I turn around and softly say, "Please don't let him die. I love him too much and I can't have him leave yet." I shut the door and walk quietly down the hall.
                              •••
   When we get to the house, Kelsey is already asleep laying against my side with Annie asleep between the seat and Kelsey's back. As I get out of the car slowly so I don't wake Kelsey, Kai is carrying Annie to the house.
   As I go to grab Kelsey she stirs slightly and lifts her tiny head to look at me. "Hey baby. I was trying to not wake you."
   "Does Daddy have cancer?"
   I gasp, surprised by her question, "Why do you ask that?"
   "It's okay that he does. God will help Daddy get better." She gets out of the car and walks to the door, while I can't seem to make my feet move.
   Kai calls my name from the door, looking at me questioningly. "I'm okay, just give me a minute please."
   "Okay. Holler if you need anything." He walks back in the house, only shutting the screen door.
   I look up at the sky, admiring the stars, "Why are you doing this to us? Why did you have him get sick? Why, God? Just why?"
   I shut the truck door and walk back to the house with my head full of questions and my heart full of sorrow.
                               •••
   I let the girls sleep in till 10:30, while me and Kai make breakfast. We have scrambled eggs, bacon, and grits. I knew they were very tired and deserved a few extra hours of sleep.
   I walk into our room after we're done with breakfast to get the girls up and ready. We all share a room, Kelsey and Annie in one bed and me and Kai in the other. They wanted Annie to sleep with us for obvious reasons, but what's that going to do? I'm already pregnant.
   I talked to Kai last night to catch him up with everything and he talked to his parents about keeping the girls for a couple of hours today after they visit my dad at the hospital. I don't want them to stay up there all day again and I need some sleep. I barely slept last night because all I could think about was my dad. My eyes are very swollen and with dark circles under my eyes are not a good combination.
   "Come on girls it's time to get up," they both groan at me and pull the blanket over their heads, "it's almost 11, so you need to get up. Don't you want to see Daddy? Also I made breakfast."
   They both reluctantly get up and head to the kitchen, Kelsey holding Annie's hand while Annie uses her other chubby hand to rub the sleep out of her eyes.
   Once they were done eating, they go brush their teeth while I braid Kelsey's hair and Kai is cleaning up the kitchen. Then while they were changing, I put their school clothes in the washing machine to make sure I don't forget them.
   By the time we were ready to leave, the house was clean. We hop in the truck and zoom over there. As we get closer, I feel the sadness start to weigh on me. Does he know he has cancer yet? Is mom going to tell him? Or does she want me to? How do you tell your father he has cancer?

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