chapter 20: everything

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Rose

Twigs snapped beneath my feet and trees turned into a green blur as I raced through the forest. I had to find Sebastian. I had to stop him. My lungs ached, my hair clung to my damp forehead but my footsteps never faltered for even a second. I refused to slow down or take a moment to regain my breath.

The glint of the knife he carried so easily flashed into my mind and filed me with a fear I had never felt before. The image rang in my head like a siren as I forced my legs to move faster, following the now-familiar path to the clearing.

I pushed away thoughts of impending danger. When Sebastian pulled out that knife, for the first time since I met him, I found myself questioning his sanity. But none of that mattered. My fear was locked into the depths of my mind. His safety was my first priority and I refused to let him hurt himself over a girl who was already gone.

A little voice in my head screamed to listen to Sebastian — run back to my cabin and lock the door behind me. I drowned out the unwanted warning with the sound of my heavy burning as I pushed my legs to their limit. The last time I had ran this frantically was to the hospital when I received a phone call that Caleb had gotten into a car accident.

I refused to lose Sebastian, too. And I knew he wasn't Caleb but he was all I had.

Out of breath, I reached the clearing and resisted the urge to collapse onto the ground to regain my breath. I could see Sebastian's silhouette from beneath the thick tree foliage and I pushed past it, ignoring the branches that dug into my skin, drawing blood, as I burst into the clearing.

"Sebastian!" His name came out in a strangled screamed, weighed down by exhaustion, but still caught his attention. His chin shot up and his eyes met mine. He stood in the centre of the clearing, feet planted squarely as he held the knife in his hands with fierce determination.

"You weren't supposed to follow me," he said.

I wanted to roll my eyes at how idiotic he was being. Instead, I took a cautious step forward. "Let me help you," was all I could manage to say as my eyes remained locked on the knife in his hand that glistened under the morning sun.

All I needed was an alternative — another idea that would give him a glimpse of hope small enough to abandon this plan.

"Go home, Rose." I remained where I was and pretended Sebastian's words didn't hurt. His eyes left mine as he turned away from me but I walked towards him, determined, and planted myself in front of him.

He couldn't get rid of me that easily.

"We can think of another way to get her back!" I was sure I looked equally crazy as I stood in front of him, sweaty and exhausted, fighting a man over a ghost. "I'll help you, Sebastian. We can —"

"This is the only way," he snapped. The anger took over his already dark eyes until I could see nothing in them but vast darkness.

I felt tears well in my eyes as I glanced down at the knife hovering between us, a metal barrier. With all hope lost, I reached out and wrapped my hand around it, too.

"Let me do it," I pleaded. "I'll be quick and then...And then this will all be over." I tightened my grip on the knife. "Give it to me, Sebastian."

And, to my surprise, he did. Sebastian's hand dropped to his side quickly as he let go of the knife. I held the weapon in my hand and stared at it in awe. I had expected a fight, for him to protest but he just ...It was then that I realized the lengths people would resort to for not only love, but guilt.

My hand held the knife carefully and all I could think of in that moment was Caleb. His green eyes, larger-than-life smile and the warmth that I felt whenever he was around. That, if I was in Sebastian's shoes, I would have plunged this knife into me without a second thought if it meant being able to see him again, even if only for a second.

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