I Won't Be Afraid Just As Long As You Stand By Me

Chapter 12: Changes

     We walked for hours, until I could barely feel my feet. We were planning to walk through the night, but decided against it when we could no longer keep our eye open for more than thirty seconds.
     We built a fire and laid down to rest, our stomachs growling every so often. We hadn't eaten since that morning, but we are all too busy thinking about Ray and Ace to fully notice or complain. It must have been the longest Vern had ever gone without food.
     Even though each step was a battle, when I crawled into my sleeping bag, I was wide awake. My mind was moving too fast for me to sleep. The guys, however, seemed to settle in just fine; I could hear faint snoring from both Teddy and Vern.
     I stared at the diminishing flames, feeling my face grow warm from the heat it gave off. Eventually, I got bored and decided to stand guard for the night. Sitting at the same tree as the night before, I was silent. 
     I pulled my knees to my chest and played with my laces, trying desperately to think of anything but Ray's cold, dead eyes. Resting my head on top of my knees, I closed my eyes. I wasn't paying attention to anything around me, until a gentle voice rescued me from my thoughts.
     "Hey," Chris said, sitting down beside me. He pulled one of his knees towards his chest, leaving the other straight on the ground.
     "Hey," I answered softly, sighing once the word left my lips. I remembered how just last night Chris and I sat here, no yet burdened with the image of a dead boy.
     "How are you holding up?" he asked, absentmindedly pulling grass out of the ground. It was a habit of his. I was about to tell him that I was fine, but I just couldn't.
     "I'm tired of saying I'm fine all the time," I confessed.
     "Then don't," he replied simply, "Tell me the truth."
     I leaned my head against the tree trunk, closing my eyes again, "I just saw the dead body of one of my closest childhood friends, my life was threatened by a blond jackass, I'm tired from all the walking we did, and my mind is racing too quickly for me to fall asleep. So, all in all, I feel pretty shitty," I opened my eyes and turned my head towards him, smiling sarcastically, "How was your day?"
     He laughed at my expression, then became serious, "Why do you bottle things up?"
     "For the same reason you do," I responded, "Cause it's easier to keep it in that to let it out." He stared at me a moment, then nodded, agreeing with me.
     "It's still hard, though," he told me. Boy, was he right. "I'm always here, Liza. I hope you know that."
     "Yeah, I know, Chris," I smiled, "Ya know, if Teddy or Vern, or even Gordie said that, I still think you're the only one I can talk to."
     "Why?" he questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.
     "Cause you don't just say you're here; you've shown me that you are." I glanced at him, seeing the corners of his mouth turn up as a smile graced his pink lips.
     We sat in silence, but neither of us minded. A cool breeze blew around us. It seemed to crawl right down the back of my shirt, making goose bumps form on my arms.
     I rubbed the exposed skin on my upper arms, trying to warm myself up. Chris did the same for a moment, then held out his arms. I moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around his torso. He was quite warm compared to me. He hugged me to him, rubbing my back as I laid my head on his chest.
     "Chris?" I asked, feeling his head rest on top of mine.
     "Yeah?"
     "Things are gonna change now, aren't they?" I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping his shirt in my hands. My head lifted and fell with his chest as he sighed.
     "Yeah they are," he replied, running his hand over my hair before returning it to my back. I buried my face into his chest, wishing he had said that everything would be the same as before. "But we're gonna tough it out. Together." I lifted my head.
     "I thought you were taking shop classes," I said.
     "That's what I thought too. But what you and Gordie said," he shook his head, "I dunno. I guess it just stuck; I've thought about it all day. You said you weren't giving up on us, so I'm not gonna give you a reason to."
     I grinned, moving my arms from his torso to his neck, hugging him tightly as he snaked his arms around my waist. He laughed quietly, trying not to wake the guys. I had almost forgotten that they were there.
     "Thank you," I whispered, pulling back. Chris, however, didn't let me get too far. "Chris?"
     "You said yourself that things are gonna change, but why should it all be for the worse?" he inquired, moving his gaze from one of my eyes to the other.
     I didn't say anything as his face got closer to mine; I only stared at his blue green eyes as they flicked between my eyes and my lips. When he was inches away, I closed my eyes, leaning in until I felt warmth on my cold lips. His were soft, but slightly cracked.
     He pulled away seconds later, making me open my eyes. He was watching for my reaction. I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him towards me again. Neither of us really knew what we were doing; this was the first time either of us had kissed someone, but we did what felt right.
     "I was wondering if you would, uh, if you would be my girlfriend," Chris said after we separated. I nodded, grinning, as I hugged him. He kissed my forehead and smiled down at me.
     I let go of him and placed my head on his chest again, now hearing his heart beat rapidly. I was glad that I wasn't the only one that felt like my heart was beating out of my chest.
     My eyes began to droop, eventually becoming too heavy to keep open. I heard Chris's breathing slow down until it matched mine. The last thing I heard was the wind rustling the leaves.