To be, or not to be, that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
- Hamlet, Shakespeare
-- Prologue --
More often than not, love is a curse.
Love is a mistake.
Love is something that happens by accident.
True love is what I'm talking about.
When I met him, I had no idea that he'd become the focal point in my life.
When I met her, I never thought that she'd bring me to the brink of insanity.
He was that shining star that guided me.
She was that shooting star that led me astray.
I never thought that we would get to the point we found ourselves into.
I never thought that it would hurt me as much as it did.
The type of love that I experienced with him was unlike any other.
The type of love that she gave me was one of a kind.
So unexpected. So exalting. So saddening. So uplifting.
He was my star-crossed lover. She gave me that kind of love that only wakes once in a blue moon.
The problem with this kind of love is that once it's gone, it's gone forever.
And now that she's gone, I'm left to deal with pain on my own.
Realistically, I'll never be able to love any other man the way that I loved him.
That is why I'll never be able to forget her.
That is why I'll never stop hurting for him.
And that is why I'll never stop loving her.
-- Chapter 1 --
[ Mariam ]
"Good morning." A warm rush of breath brushed my ear, tearing me out of my slumber.
Groaning in vexation, I felt myself being rolled over onto my back only to feel some heavy weight on top of me. I kept my eyes closed because sleep still had a great hold over me.
"No..." I placed my hands on the firm shoulders atop me but was too weak to push him away. I yielded to raising my back some as strong arms made their way around my waist.
"No?" he asked, his lips brushing against my jawbone. "That's not how you answer a greeting."
"Go away," I grumbled, ignoring the electric shrills that cascaded through my body in response to his touch.
This always seemed to happen when he touched me.
This inexplicable feeling.
Regardless of how he made me feel, I still wanted to rest. I was tired and sleep was really hard to come by nowadays. Especially with all the stress that he put me through.
"You really want me to go away?" he queried, nipping at my earlobe gently. Temptingly.
Against my own will, I giggled girlishly. Stubbornly, I kept my eyes closed so that he wouldn't think he'd already won.
"Yes I want you to go away. I'm tired..."
"Come on. You know how hard it is for me to get a day off. Wake up," He goaded.
"No..." I protested, gently pushing him off of me before rolling onto my side.
I felt him looming on top of me on all fours for a few more seconds before he finally capitulated to my demands and left. A twinge of guilt pricked me for brushing him off that way but all of this had been his fault.
