Crayons

Chapter 33

"Willow," the whisper is accompanied by a kiss to my jaw. I force my eyes to open, finding Zach above me with a smile and messy bed hair, "Good morning sunshine." I don't say anything, instead using my hands to grab him and pull him down to me where I smash my lips to his, he returns the kiss happily. We both pull away at the same time, grinning at each other, and he says, "I should wake you up more often."

"What time is it?" I ask around a yawn, suddenly becoming self-conscious of my morning breath and hair.

I attempt to smooth down the mess as he answers, "Six in the morning."

I groan, pulling the cover up over my head, "Why are you waking me up so damn early?"

He laughs, tugging at the blanket until I peek out the top, "We have school today. It's the last day before exams." I groan again, trying to pull the covers back up, but he snatches them from my grip, suddenly pulling them down. The first thing that registers in my brain is how cold I suddenly am. I lurch forward, into Zach, for his body heat. The chuckle that escapes his mouth sends a pleasurable chill down my spine, "I would love to stay in bed all day with you, Willow, but we can't do that."

My heart skips a beat when he says the word love, and luckily he doesn't seem to notice. I don't want to be the one to bring up our confessions from last night, but I can't help myself but hint at it, "You would love to, huh?"

He notices my emphasis on love, raising an eyebrow curiously, "Yeah, I mean, I would really like to stay here with you all day." His word change from love to like feels like a small slap to the face. Suddenly, it dawns on me. He was half asleep when he confessed to me last night, possibly even sleep talking. He doesn't realize he said it, doesn't remember that I said it back.

I scoot myself away from him, slowly pulling myself out of the bed. I need to clear my head a little bit. I need to clean up. I kneel on the bed just enough to reach Zach, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing my suitcase of possessions and walking towards the bathroom, "I'm going to jump in the shower and get ready."

"There are towels on the counter. I'll be in my room if you need me." I stop before shutting the door to the bathroom, watching through the crack of the door as he gets up and leaves the room.

Once alone, I plug my phone in to charge and set it on the counter near the door. I try my best to avoid the mirror, not ready to deal with the damage; I still haven't seen myself since I was rescued from David's basement. I check to make sure the shower has everything I need and place a towel near the shower where I'll be able to reach it once I'm finished before I strip down, folding my clothes and laying them next to my phone on the counter. Not being able to take it any longer, I turn around and look at my reflection.

My black hair seems slightly longer, more wavy, but that's probably because I haven't seen it in so long. Part of my face still holds evidence from my time being kidnapped, but it's nothing makeup couldn't fix, hopefully. I notice my eyes, how they seem lighter, happier than usual. Something else I notice is my body and how thin it has become. In an attempt to hide my stomach from myself I cross my arms over it, causing me to take notice to the bandages wrapped around my wrists. Bandages I completely forgot about until now. Finding an end, I slowly begin to peel the gauze off of my skin, wincing when it sticks and pulls at my flesh. Once I'm able to get them off I inspect the leftover damage to my wrists. I tentatively touch one with my fingers, immediately pulling back when a pain shoots up my arm. I make a mental note to apply the ointment they gave me and wrap them back up after my shower.

I turn the water on to the hottest temperature it can get, immediately stepping in and letting it scorch my body and wash away the dirt and old emotions. It's about time I stop being depressed and hateful towards myself. I am a Black Crayon, and nothing can change that. I wash my hair, my body, every single inch of me. Physically and emotionally.