The Butterfly Keeper

14

FOURTEEN

SEBASTIAN STAYS silent, but I can hear the hum of his breathing and feel the burn of his stare in the dark as the rain thunders down heavier. I watch the shadowy figure of his arm reach up to his face.

He exhales deeply, "I'll got get some candles." He says as he walks past me, his shoulder faintly touching mine for a moment.

He doesn't walk far, for I hear his steps stop somewhere near. Probably the kitchen. A drawer opens and the sound of objects being pushed around echoes in between the silence. From the corner of my eye, I see a gleam of fire spark as at the same time it makes a quite click like sound. I watch Sebastian's hand bring a lighter to a candle wick.

His eyes flicker towards me and stares at me lowly, causing my stomach to churn. He stands there looking for a heavy second before he plods in my direction. The reflection of his face looks disfigured under the glare of the candle-almost unlike himself. He's too calm.

"I don't think we can go on like this," Sebastian eventually speaks. "It's not doing us any good."

I recoil at the word 'us' and make it evident to him as my mouth mangles in displeasure. "I don't care what you think."

My eyes follow Sebastian's movements as he roughly sets down the candle on the coffee table. He then reaches into his back pocket and takes out a handful of tealight candles. I watch him light each one individually and place them alongside the edge of the table, away from all the paint brushes. The space is still dim, but the candles provide enough brightness to see each other.

"I think that should be enough," Sebastian mutters, obviously refusing to acknowledge anything I'm saying to him. I clamp my jaw and cross my arms over my chest firmly.

"Ignoring me won't make all the hate and disgust I feel for you go away," I want to get closer to him to clearly see his expression but I don't. It's too much of a risk. "None of this is going to get better no matter what you do or what you tell yourself."

"Just stop talking." Sebastian's voice is onerous but pleading; weak. Despite his tone being harsh, his posture continues to be composed.

I dryly huff, "You thought this was going to be easy," I state because there's no doubt he actually did believe that. "You can't just kidnap someone and except them to be okay with it. It doesn't work that way."

His eyes flare at me momentarily before he brings his sight down to the candles. His hand extends towards the larger candle and I see the outline of his finger lightly begin to trace the carved design of the candle. "I knew it wasn't going to be easy," He stops tracing and looks up at me. "I just thought by now you would've accepted this."

Accept?

I tempestuously shake my head. He's utterly delusional. "You kidnapped me," I repeat.

My words trigger something in him for his eyes quiver around my face as if tying to make me understand him in some way. "I already told you it's not like that."

"Then what is it like!" The sound of my voice raises to a clamor with each word that is spit out. "Why can't you just tell me?"

I watch the corner of Sebastian's mouth sink downward, causing his smile lines to be the most noticeable feature on his face right now. From the corner of his eye, Sebastian steadily looks at me before his eyes fall back on the candle. How I wish he could burn under the flame.

I grab a handful of my hair and twist it into some kind of knot. Exhaling, I take a small step towards him. "You want me to accept this," I say, deliberately, contradicting what I said earlier about not caring what he thinks. "Give me a reason to."