ALONE

''It's where my demons hide'

I walked right in the kitchen and look in my mother and my aunt.

''And when did you planing to say me that?" i asked trying to convince my voice to be normal,i don't want to show them how upset i am.

My mother looked at me and then at my aunt.She repit that couple times.

''Look what you did!" she scream on my aunt.

''She was just telling the truth.The truth that you couldn't say for 17 years! Do you know how i feel right now?! No i guess you don't know.'' i said trying to imitate my aunt when she was saying with ice cold voice.I look at her and i can say that she is proud on me.

''And you just,what? You are going to believe to her not to your mother?!" she seems nervous.

''Well i can practicly say that she is more my mother than you.She was beside me trough dificoult periouds in my life,she was the one who was coming on my games for school,she was the one who..who was there for me..Not you,not dad..Whell i guess i can't call him that 'cause he is not my father.'' i can feel how angry owerhelmed my body.I'm trying so bad to stay calm but just when i look at her perfect hair and make up...Uhhh...I practicly can kill someone in this moment.

''Do't talk to me like that young lady,i am your mother,and yes he is your father.'' she order me.

I found myself laughing. ''You? My mother? Please don't joke..And yeah Antony is my father and i'm going to find him." i said harshly.

My aunt chocked..I look at her and i can tell that she didn't expect that from me.

''Oh no..You are going to stay home and forgot abotu all off these.''

Now she think that she can comand to me?!

''Hah...No i'm leaving..''

''And where do you think your gonna sleep? On the street? In the box?''

''Everywhere is better than here.'' i know i'm rude but she deserve that.I turnede around,give my aunt significant look and leave the kitchen.

I can't believe that i just said that i'm going to leave the pleace where i was been for 17 years.So many memories are in here.Well mostly bad memories..In one way i know that i make the correct decision,and in the other way i'm sad because i know that i leaving this pleace forever.I don't know where i can stay..I can ask Eli to stay at her place..That is a huge favor,i can't do that.I don't want anyone to know about these expect few of them.Wait...My aunt have an apartment near to school,i can ask her.

I opened the door of my room and look at her.My room is basicly full with my friends.

They say that in hard moments in your life you realized who are your honest frined.I guess that this is one of that moments.I just can pray that i have more than one true friend.

''Hey what happend?" Katherine asked me.She jumped from the bed and walk to me.

''Nothing..I just..I am moving,that's all..'' i fake smiled

''Your moving? Where? Why?'' she asked me confused.

''Well i guess that i still don't know.It's a long story why i'm moving.."

The door clicked when they closed.I turned around and see my aunt.

''Where are you plaqning to go?'' she asked me.Now it's time to ask her.Now or never.

''Well..I was asking...if i can..hm..if i can stay at your place?'' I am nervous.What if she say no? Where will i go then?I don't have any cousins except aunt..And father,but i don't know where is he..I don't know if is he still alive.

''Yeah..yeah...of course.. I just want to tell you that i'm really pround on you..I didn't expect that you are going to stand for yourself..And i'm sorry,you should hear the truth from your mother not from me.'' her eyes become soft and i know that this might be first and last time i see my aunt crying.I hug her and she hug me back.

''It's okay.'' i smiled.That wasn't fake smile it was real smile.The smile of convincig myself that everything is going to be okay.I have one awsome women by my side.Women whose history i didn't know;the women whose grow up too fast..

I look at my friends.I fell so older right now.It's like i'm saying 'goodbye' to the little girl..I guess that for me it's over with being child,now i must be a women.Women whose must make dificult choices,women whose still going in high school.

I can't bring my teddy bears with me,that's makes me sad.They was with me..

''Your lied to me!'' my aunt shot.I turned around.

''I lied you?'' i asked confused.

''Yes.Your not 17..Your birthday is next week!'' she said and opened her mouth in shock.

Ohhh that women..I was thinking god know what and she's telling me that?! Geeezzz...

''Well yea,but it's the same..'' i smirk and smiled.

''No it's not silly..It's a big thing..You are just once seventeen..'' she smiled wild.She scares me sometimes.

''Well yes,but for me it's not big deal..'' i laugh and shake my head. ''Just chill out.Now it's more important for me to pack all my things.''

''You are going tonight?'' she said.

''Well we all are going tonigh..right?'' i asked.I hoped that i could do that with them around me.I can't do it all alone.

''Yeah...'' she mumbled.

I found my bag in the closet and pack my clothes.

I was never thinking about leaving this place before colage.Well i guess that i never was thinking about that that my father isn't my real father.I fell sorry a little bit for my mother,but not too much.I am still angry on her 'cause all of these.It's her fault,maybe this all wouldn't happened if she just told me the truth..All i know is that i can't thinking aobut what will happened,what will be diferenet.The truth is on the sun and i can't ignore it.I just hope that my aunt have a bed in her appartmant..

''I'm done.'' i informed them.I look at faces all of them five..Wait five? It should be six...One is missing.Eli is here,just like Katherine,Alex,Marry and Andrijana..But where is Maria?

"Where is Maria?'' i asked.

''Well wshe didn't even come here.I think she's still on the party.Probably in bed with that girl or something like that.I don't even know what time is it..'' Alex said.

Maria was always different.She came in our little group of friends last.In first there was just our four: Alex,Eli,Kath and me.We met Marry on some concert,i can't really remember how but we met her..We met Maria on the pool like one year ago perhaps less.In start she refused to go in public with us.Her exuse was 'You all belong in the popular world,and i can't leave my friends.'.The truth was that she didn't have any friends before us.She was ashamed of that,and she lied us.When we asked her to met her 'friends' she panicked and on the end she tell us the truth.I can say that we practicly adopted her.Now i'm asking myself if she is a lesbian? Maybe she lied us about her boyfriend just like about her 'friends'.I never really hear her commenting some guy..I don't know what to think..If she is a lesbian that is not my business.That is her life,she can do what ever she want to do.I,like her friend,will always support her.That's my job.

''It's time to go.'' my aunt said and give a are-you-shure look and i nodded.In this moment i'm shure in just one thing,and that thing is that i want to leave this place and go to sleep.

Now it's time to leave the past behind me.To leave all that little thing that makes me happy,to leave my teddy bears,my bed..To leave my childhood.It's time for young girl to become a young women.It's time to grow up.

I turned around too see once more my room.I will miss all of these things.That parquerty which always creaked.The curtain,which has a hole in the corner.And the ceiling which is partly plastered with posters and partly drawn leaves...

I take a deep breath and closed the door.Brown door that will never open for me again.It's time...