Dear Starboy {TomTord Neighbourhood AU, COMPLETE REUPLOAD}

heartbreak reprise

broken.
tom was broken.

the same image of tord's sorrowful
smile after their breakup was the
only thing running through tom's
empty head.

the letters stopped arriving and tord
always had his curtains closed.

tom's father would avoid him and his mother would generally avoid the house.

it was now the 23rd of december.

tom thought about him and tord happily playing in the snow. pelting each other with snowballs and nestling in each other's arms with warm tea at night.

he should be in the christmas spirit.
but he wasn't.

he sat on his bed, reading through
his collection of notes and scoffing.

who would see such nice qualities in a monster.

78. how you can make somebody
happy with only a wave and smile.
stay golden ;)

90. the fact you care about small things. even when you don't care. details create the bigger picture.

he had been receiving the notes for
over 3 months but still had no clue who s.b was.

after hastily discarding the letter,
he picked up his chipped guitar. he
didn't know many songs but one felt
right to play.

he planned on singing but immediately shut his mouth as a distant voice sheepishly sang.

'if i told you that i loved you tell me,
what would you say?'

tom strummed quietly before
whispering to himself.

'if i told you that i hated you
would you go away?'
'now i need your help with everything that i do.'
'i don't want to lie, i've been relying
on you.'

silence. like awkward static.

'i'm sick and i'm tired too.'
'i can admit, i'm not fireproof.'
'i feel lt burning me.'
'i feel it burning you.'

'i hope i don't murder me.'
'i hope i don't burden you.'
if i do, if i do...'

tom glanced at his icy window, tord's curtains still hang, covering
his bright room.

the singing died along with the guitar
strumming. neither of the boys wanted to make any contact. what they had together was long gone.

tom placed his guitar under his bed. his life was pretty pointless right now

he probably would wait for the holidays to blow over and go back to school for more studying.

how boring.

//

shattered.
tord felt shattered.

he'd actually thought tom was different.

how stupid.

he was just like the old bullies
the bullies that forced him out of
their school.

the cutting surely started again.

thin red lines littering his arms. like tiny flicks of a crimson dipped paintbrush.

how ugly. what would tom see in him?

oh right. nothing. he left him.

tom was the only thing stopping him
from leaving the corrupted world
he lived in.

tom was his lifeboat that
left him for dead.

oh, the irony.

tord pulled a sheet of star patterned
paper from under his pillow, he took his time constructing the perfect letter with his best handwriting; despite the frequent shaking in his wrist.

he barely noticed he was crying until the tears blotted the thin blue
paper. not even bothering to wipe his
teary eyes, tord signed the letter and
delicately placed it in it's matching star blue envelope.

outstretching his arm, tord left the
envelope stuck under tom's window
he pulled on his red hoodie and black
jeans. an outfit he'd never usually wear.

he turned out his light and headed
to his safe place.

the waterfall.