My Sweet Valentine

♡ o n e ♡

The Beginning of the End ♡

V A L E N T I N E

It was a fucked up feeling to feel so alone in a crowded room.

Dancing bodies moved around me as the steady thump from the bass of the music echoed in my chest, the thoughts in my brain slowly numbed by the pill I'd swallowed down with alcohol whilst I stared across the barely lit scene in front of me.

People I knew and people I didn't blurred past my vision, the theme of tonight's house party weighing heavily on my heart as I tried to blink past the various shades of reds and pinks and everything else that accompanied the day I had grown to hate.

Just the thought made me roll my eyes as I downed a sip of the strong drink in my cup and felt the liquid burn down my throat, the feeling more than welcomed as I wondered how ironic it was to hate a day that was focused so much on love.

Maybe it was because I was named after the day my parents had met, only for my father to end up leaving a month after I was born...or maybe it was the overt way that couples seemed to focus all their feelings into twenty four hours, only to fight like they were breaking up the next day...but I knew all too well that I'd only be lying to myself if I used that as an excuse.

Scoffing lazily at the thoughts in my head I gulped down more of my drink, and for a moment, let everything around me sink into my bones like it was the last time I'd ever witness such a thing.

The living room was loitered with couples who danced together and enjoyed what was an excuse to show how much they loved one another, the sight leaving an ill feeling to start in my throat as I took a handful of the sweets someone passing me held in their hands, swallowing them down easily with the rest of my drink before I exhaled a heavy breath and stilled.

With my eyes closed the steady bass of the song playing seemed emphasised and began to act like a second heartbeat within my chest, the sound bursting between my ears as I rolled my head to the music and let the red plastic cup in my hand fall to the floor once a few seconds had passed.

The crunch of plastic under someone's foot was barely heard as the song switched into something a little slower with a heavier thump backing it, the lack of my sight only enunciating each beat that carried my thoughts away with the added help of the alcohol streaming into my drugged blood.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

It only left me feeling like I was floating in a cold sweat that heated my face and crept up my spine, my lips parting to breathe in the slight smoked air as my eyes opened and I stared through my tipsy vision to what was in front of me once again.

Blurred strings of light passing over the room from the DJ's set up alternatingly lit up the red and pink paper hearts taped to the walls of the living room we were all in, the Valentine's Day theme being something that was carried throughout the party as I tilted my head and lazily watched over everyone's red and pink attire as they danced.

Witnessing several girls struggle to keep their short dresses from riding up was what made me that little bit more thankful for what I'd chose to wore, the much loved red short sleeve shirt I'd tied to the side showcasing a strip of my stomach that was partially covered with the highwaisted skinny jeans that had rips at the knees...my head lowering to stare over my exposed skin until I could see the red bracelets adorning my arms, the colour matching my outfit and the mood I felt from the inside out.

With a smile I found myself adjusting the shirt with gentle movements as if I'd be able to ruin it just by touching it, the memories that were soaked into the stitching leaving me feeling drunker than I was just as a sudden uncontrollable haze distorted my vision.